12-YO was irresponsible, will cost us thousands; appropriate consequence?

[Anonymous]

You sound like a bitch OP. Accidents happen. Especially w kids. Even if you told him ten times.

He will remember this the rest of his life already. Way to go to punish him even more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$7,000 goldfish (contains real gold). He asked a neighbor about a mile away to watch it for a week. At the end of the week, he couldn't remember where the house was and now he's worried the fish is running out of food.

Well done.

But the neighbor returned the $7,000 goldfish.

Left it on the doorstep in 20ºF weather. Fish stick.

Actually goldfish thrive outdoors year round, hence goldfish ponds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say that if you put a 12 year old in charge of something that would cost 7K to replace, you are a fool. I would not punish him, he already has guilt. I would rethink what I think my 12 year old should be capable of doing and if what I want him to do is worth the risk.

That. Plus, something that valuable should be insured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully if OP actually lets us in on what it was, it won't be as disappointing as the HAIR BRUSH thread.

Seriously.

I want to know what the HAIR BRUSH thread was.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/447466.page

There you go!

[Anonymous]

OP here: Good guess. It was the puppy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Good guess. It was the puppy.

OP DELIVERED!

Ok. yeah. Accidents happen. He should simply have to do extra chores for a period of time. No denial of camp. That is just too much.

[Anonymous]

Aha! Well, if it was the puppy, then I think that good consequences would be:

1. Lots of dog care (because of the dog)
2. Lots of house cleaning (because of the sofa)
3. Limited electronics (because of the iPad)

But definitely no denial of camp.

[Anonymous]

OP, I must warn you. The puppy is going to do thousands of dollars of damage more until it grows up, and you won't be able to blame all of it on your DS. Puppies are incredibly destructive.

[Anonymous]

You all need to read a mystery book or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Good guess. It was the puppy.

OP DELIVERED!

Ok. yeah. Accidents happen. He should simply have to do extra chores for a period of time. No denial of camp. That is just too much.

Thank you-- the suspense was killing me!! My DS8 pulled the drain on bathroom sink on the other night, left the water running, and flooded the bathroom. Thank goodness, I walked in 2 minutes later or it would have been an epic disaster. I was cleaning and drying cabinets, floor, drawers, countertop. OMG I was pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Good guess. It was the puppy.

Wha??? No drug deals, no murders, no goldfish, no diamond rings?

I suppose its better than water damage. Good luck --

[Anonymous]

Lifelong dog owner here. I wouldn't punish for the sake of punishing. There are many natural consequences that come from puppy damage. If I forgot to let the dogs out after school, and they pooped or peed inside, I cleaned it up. If I let them into a wrong room and they chewed through the drywall (yes that happened), I helped my dad patch, spackle, and paint. If they tore up a section of the yard from running and barking because I wasn't watching them, then I helped my dad rake and reseed and fence off.

However, we all make mistakes when it comes to dogs. Adults do too. Part of it is learning the dog's personality and what the dog is capable of. I've had dogs that never had to be crated and dogs that would eat kitchen tables if I didn't. In any event, dog ownership involves inherent costs, and part of those costs are often damage related. I'd chalk it up to an overall family lesson about pets as well. Get son involved in some related aspects of dog care and repair, if possible. But likely he feels badly enough not to do it again, just like we as adults would feel badly enough not to do it again.

[Anonymous]

Ok, now that we know more, I'm not sure punishment is the answer. I think heavy guilt trip is more appropriate, becuase at issue is his failure to care for the dog and the dog could have gotten hurt because of his neglect. If there was punishment, I think it should be on the light side, grounding/no screen time for one weekend.

It may be also time to give him more responsibilities that if he vaulters he feels the direct consequence. For instance, he is old enough to wash, dry and fold his own clothes. If he does pnt do it, he won't have clean clothes. If he continues to fail to do this chore, then grounding/allowance docking etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Good guess. It was the puppy.

You cannot be serious. You're going to punish your son because your dog chewed the furniture? WTF?

For the record, I own big dogs who are chewers (Rotties, in fact--one chewed through a door once. Solid wood). ANd I have 2 sons. I'm sure your son feels really bad, but at the end of the day, the responsibility for the dogs, in my opinion, lies with the adults in the house. We want our kids to learn with the dogs, but we don't leave them in charge.

I really don't think punishment is appropriate here.

[Anonymous]

Because it involves the puppy- I would get him involved in fixing the damage. If that isn't possible, I would let him know that he needs to take on extra household chores because you have to deal with the damage.
I wouldn't take away priveleges as much as I would (at least temporarily) add responsibilities. I think the message will be more positive.
I would also explain that dogs are like babies- they don't know any better and it's our responsibility to care for and protect them. That means that we cannot be impulsive or forgetful- they absolutely depend on us.
7K is awful-- it may be a great learning experience for your son, but I feel for you.