Losing a spouse vs. Losing a parent or child

[Anonymous]

Child

[Anonymous]

You never get over the loss of a spouse. Minimizing this experience is horrific. Grow up everyone.

[Anonymous]

I love my husband dearly. We’ve been together since we were 24 years old. But I could survive his death. It would be painful, but I would survive.
I have two daughters - an infant and a 4yo. Part of it may be PPA talking (my PPA manifests as extreme worry for their health and safety), but just the mere thought of it...I just can’t see myself surviving that. The grief would crush me.

[Anonymous]

I lost my Dad when I was a teen. My mom has spent years telling me how her loss is so much more painful than mine and that losing a spouse is so much worse than me losing my Dad. It’s not though, because I lost only real parent I had and then I was left with... her.

[Anonymous]

I was a child that lost both parents (age 3, age 13). I also lost a sibling (age 13).

Becoming a 29 year old widow due to a traumatic death was by far harder than either above experience. The next 60 years of my life vanished in a second.

[Anonymous]

My mom died when my siblings and I were teens. My grandma said at the time that her loss was worse than ours and my father's (she wanted to control the funeral etc.). I didn't get it until I had my own kids. Now I totally understand how devastating the experience was for her and how she wishes it had been her. Of course, I would be sad if my dh died but I don't think I would ever leave the house again if one of my kids died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow. I was devastated for several years, but I eventually recovered.

The people I know who have lost a child have never fully recovered from that loss. They have learned to live with it.

My grandmother lost her TWO kids at once-a 5 year old and a 6 year old. Both got sick and died the same week. Never got over it and became an alcoholic. I don’t wish that level of torment on any person. (She has my parent much later.)

[Anonymous]

Pp here. The tragedy pretty much wrecked my grandparents’ marriage, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow. I was devastated for several years, but I eventually recovered.

The people I know who have lost a child have never fully recovered from that loss. They have learned to live with it.

My grandmother lost her TWO kids at once-a 5 year old and a 6 year old. Both got sick and died the same week. Never got over it and became an alcoholic. I don’t wish that level of torment on any person. (She has my parent much later.)

+1 I have buried my husband and our two daughters. I loved all three fiercely. I have remarried and have a beautiful family now. I am very happy. I don't think I will ever get over losing my daughters. It is like a huge chunk of my soul is missing.

[Anonymous]

Parent losing a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You never get over the loss of a spouse. Minimizing this experience is horrific. Grow up everyone.

Depends if you like them...

[Anonymous]

I’d give up my husband over one of my kids in an instant.

I’d give my own life to save one of my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its really an interesting question with some startling answers. The mother who put herself ahead of the child. Well that kind of astonishes me.

I could survive (eventually) the loss of both parents (I just lost one and know this for a fact) and probably the loss of my husband. But I would never, ever recover from the loss of either of my children and I would find it very hard to continue living if either of them died. And if they both died, I would certainly kill myself. That would be the end for me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent losing a child.

Except for those who don’t care much about their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's painful but part of life to lose a parent.
It's devastating to lose a spouse, but widows and widowers move on, remarry, etc.
I think you never, ever get over the death of a child.

Agree