DD's teacher won't call her by her nickname

[Anonymous]

I'm a little confused. If you only call her Bella and prefer that she is called Bella, then why did you name her Isabella? Why didn't you just name her Bella?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the teachers preference her name is Isabella

Why on earth would it be a teacher's preference to decide what the name of one of his/her students is? Is a teacher also allowed to decide, "You don't really strike me as a Cheryl. I'm going to call you Carla instead since I prefer it for you"?

There's a difference. Its not like the teacher is randomly deciding what she feels like calling her. Isabella is her legal name.

[Anonymous]

I think one psycho troll recently lost her job and is on here all day sockpuppeting because there can't be so many posters who think it's just fine for a teacher to behave like this.

[Anonymous]

OP. I posted before but just wanted to pipe up again because I know where you're coming from. And I think some PP don't realize how much a nickname can be the *real* name.

Personally I used my nickname exclusively - on everything - until a job in my twenties. I still use my nickname almost everywhere, it is how I'm listed in directories for my kids schools, etc. My brother used his nickname even more exclusively than I did, and literally the only documents that have his real name are government issued - even his PhD is under his nickname.

If this weren't making your daughter feel so badly I might agree to let it slide because we all need to learn from others foibles. But this situation is clearly having a significant negative impact on your daughter, and as such you should definitely talk to the teacher. Do it nicely, because you catch more flies with honey, but absolutely go talk to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one psycho troll recently lost her job and is on here all day sockpuppeting because there can't be so many posters who think it's just fine for a teacher to behave like this.

I think there are actually quite a few people here who think the OP should relax. Mostly because a) it's not clear if the teacher is being deliberately oppositional or just forgetful and b) it's still early in the year and things are probably still a little chaotic. It's possible that the OP is transferring some of her anxiety about this to her daughter and making the situation worse. If she asks her daughter every day if the teacher called her Bella and what the teacher said and how the teacher acted, the daughter might well feel upset and think the teacher hates her.

I agree with the many posters who have suggested gentle and nonconfrontational ways to reach out to the teacher. I don't know what OP's school set-up is like, but this seems like a perfect topic for back to school night or a goal setting conference. I think she sounds a little crazy if she's going bananas because the teacher is calling her by...her given name, which happens to be very similar to her nickname.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Op don't talk to the asst principal. Op don't teach your child to clear things up when the teacher says the table was talking. You are teaching your child to be one of those ......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child's teacher refused to call him by his full name. Said it was too long and would only use the common nickname.

We spoke to her, said that it would make him feel better to be called by his actual name. She wouldn't budge.

Teacher needs to be fired. No clue on child development

[Anonymous]

I hate nicknames and will not answer to mine. When people change my child's name he will not answer either. I have no issue with a teacher calling a child by their legal name though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little confused. If you only call her Bella and prefer that she is called Bella, then why did you name her Isabella? Why didn't you just name her Bella?

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least she doesn't call her "mi hija" which my dd's old teacher did. Never her name, just "mi hija". She also used to tell my husband that she dd her favorite and considered her "my daughter" when we weren't there.

That, I found creepy.

"Mi hija" is a term of endearment in Spanish, said to kids by a woman who knows them well, similar to "honey", "sweetie", "buddy". I can see how you might think it's creepy, but really it's not. You know how some much older men call younger men "son" in English? They don't think of that person as their son, but they just say that, and it's accepted, it's kind of like that.

Yeah, no kidding.

Except that half the time she said it in English, which she translated to "my daughter" not to "sweetie". As in, "Oh you are coming to pick up my daughter and take her away from me! See you tomorrow, honey!" Creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for OP.
Is Bella bothered by the incorrect name as well, or is it more you? Could Bella be feeding off of your feelings?
Should the teacher respect your wishes in terms of a name? Yes. But if it isn't truly bothering Bella -- and actually bothering you -- let it go.

Kids change nicknames all the time. Maybe that's why the teacher doesn't want to use nicknames and start the habit.

Bella honestly doesn't think to respond when someone says Izzy or Isabella. They may as well be saying Jennifer or Caroline. She knows her full name is Isabella and how to spell/write that, but she feels it's as relevant to know as her middle name.

She told me last night that she thinks the teacher hates her because she didn't reply when her name was called, AND other kids at her table were talking and the whole table got spoken to which Bella thinks means the teacher thinks she was talking, but she is too intimidated by the teacher to go clear things up and let her know she wasn't talking.

As a former 1st grade teacher I can say unequivocally that if the whole table of students was talking, it is very unlikely that Special Snowflake (isa)Bella was completely silent. Come on. You clearly don't know kids and you are that mom who thinks your snowflake is perfect.

What is (isa)Bella going to do when she has to take a standardized test and write ISABELLA on the form? Will she need a xanax? What will you do at graduation when the complete and full names are called? Will she miss her turn because she won't notice being called ISAbella?

[Anonymous]

The bottom line here is that the teacher does not get to decide the child's name. That is the parent's job. They've done that here. The child goes by Bella, regardless of what her full name is. That people go by a shortened version of their full name is not a novel act.

It doesn't matter that the teacher is busy, prefers something else, or whatever the reason is. The kid's name is Bella. I'd send a note/email and if it doesn't stop, speak to her at the fall conference. Frankly, if she couldn't remember my child's name, or was choosing to disregard my wishes, I would ask to move classes. Any reason the teacher could offer as why she isn't calling my child by her name doesn't reflect well on him or her. And, I consider myself pretty laid back as far as teachers go (I don't email, call, etc. constantly. I've never made any sort of special requests).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for OP.
Is Bella bothered by the incorrect name as well, or is it more you? Could Bella be feeding off of your feelings?
Should the teacher respect your wishes in terms of a name? Yes. But if it isn't truly bothering Bella -- and actually bothering you -- let it go.

Kids change nicknames all the time. Maybe that's why the teacher doesn't want to use nicknames and start the habit.

Bella honestly doesn't think to respond when someone says Izzy or Isabella. They may as well be saying Jennifer or Caroline. She knows her full name is Isabella and how to spell/write that, but she feels it's as relevant to know as her middle name.

She told me last night that she thinks the teacher hates her because she didn't reply when her name was called, AND other kids at her table were talking and the whole table got spoken to which Bella thinks means the teacher thinks she was talking, but she is too intimidated by the teacher to go clear things up and let her know she wasn't talking.

As a former 1st grade teacher I can say unequivocally that if the whole table of students was talking, it is very unlikely that Special Snowflake (isa)Bella was completely silent. Come on. You clearly don't know kids and you are that mom who thinks your snowflake is perfect.

What is (isa)Bella going to do when she has to take a standardized test and write ISABELLA on the form? Will she need a xanax? What will you do at graduation when the complete and full names are called? Will she miss her turn because she won't notice being called ISAbella?

Dramatic much? She'll input her full name. The same way a generation full of Jennifers (Jen/Jenny), Elizabeths (Beth/Liz/Lizzy), Katherines (Kate/Kathy) and others have done. But, in terms of what the child is called, the teacher doesn't get to choose. Period. And, it's bizarre that anyone would think otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bottom line here is that the teacher does not get to decide the child's name. That is the parent's job. They've done that here. The child goes by Bella, regardless of what her full name is. That people go by a shortened version of their full name is not a novel act.

It doesn't matter that the teacher is busy, prefers something else, or whatever the reason is. The kid's name is Bella. I'd send a note/email and if it doesn't stop, speak to her at the fall conference. Frankly, if she couldn't remember my child's name, or was choosing to disregard my wishes, I would ask to move classes. Any reason the teacher could offer as why she isn't calling my child by her name doesn't reflect well on him or her. And, I consider myself pretty laid back as far as teachers go (I don't email, call, etc. constantly. I've never made any sort of special requests).

The child's name is Isabella the teacher is calling her by her legal name. The mother doesn't have a leg to stand on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little confused. If you only call her Bella and prefer that she is called Bella, then why did you name her Isabella? Why didn't you just name her Bella?

Really? You're "a little confused" about the concept of nicknames? You never had a classmate named William who went by Billy? Never a Nicholas who went by Nick? Never once? Are you playing dumb or truly that sheltered?