DD's teacher won't call her by her nickname

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'd have all the sympathy in the world if the situation were reversed. Meaning that the teacher insisted on calling her "Bella" instead of her legal name, Isabella. I think that shortening someone's name because you're too lazy to use the whole given name is different. Turning Christopher into Chris, William into Billy, etc when that is not what the person wants is wrong. But using someone's legal given name? I really don't see the problem. If you're so hard over on being called Bella (or Chris or Billy), than that should be your legal name.

Also, nobody really cares if your grandmother literally died while you were in labor--that isn't relevant to the fact that you should have just named her what you insist she be called.

Hello, my name is Red, but my friends call me Blue.

Hi, Blue! <--- because I'm not a dick.

[Anonymous]

OP, we went through this with my daughter, a "Katie". She had this one teacher who just insisted on calling her Katherine. My daughter hated it. I told my DD I understood how she felt but to just deal with it. There are more important things to worry about. A good life lesson if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends who are in MoCo had a similar issue. Their son's first name is a family name that is never used. He has ALWAYS been called by his middle name, but everyone he knows. He didn't even know his first name until pre-k.

In kindergarten the teacher insisted on calling him by his first name, and told my friends that the policy in MoCoPS is to use the name on the birth certificate, period. The parents finally went to the principal to get the issue resolved, but she confirmed that yes, in MoCo, at least, the child is to be called what is on the birth certificate (unless the parents make enough of a fuss, apparently).

My question is, what circumstances compelled the school systems to come up with this rule? My guess is parents fighting over custody with different name preferences ...

I can only imagine some of the messed up reasons why they would have this policy, but things teenagers do come to mind

This seems like a very small issue to me, the teacher is calling her by her given name and DD will have to write it on every form and document for the rest of her life. Yes, it would be better if she called her "Bella" but I would start off with a parent-teacher conference to talk about it and see what the reasoning (if any) is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we went through this with my daughter, a "Katie". She had this one teacher who just insisted on calling her Katherine. My daughter hated it. I told my DD I understood how she felt but to just deal with it. There are more important things to worry about. A good life lesson if you ask me.

sure there are more important things in life to worry about, but I do think that a teacher being an a-hole to a 6 yr old and not calling her by the only name she has ever know and the name the parents insist on calling her is something to complain about. Having a teacher that does not respect a child or her parents is not a situation I would want to be in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'd have all the sympathy in the world if the situation were reversed. Meaning that the teacher insisted on calling her "Bella" instead of her legal name, Isabella. I think that shortening someone's name because you're too lazy to use the whole given name is different. Turning Christopher into Chris, William into Billy, etc when that is not what the person wants is wrong. But using someone's legal given name? I really don't see the problem. If you're so hard over on being called Bella (or Chris or Billy), than that should be your legal name.

Also, nobody really cares if your grandmother literally died while you were in labor--that isn't relevant to the fact that you should have just named her what you insist she be called.

Hello, my name is Red, but my friends call me Blue.

Hi, Blue! <--- because I'm not a dick.

Great, you're not a dick. But it appears you missed the point. Like the fact that teachers are not your friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'd have all the sympathy in the world if the situation were reversed. Meaning that the teacher insisted on calling her "Bella" instead of her legal name, Isabella. I think that shortening someone's name because you're too lazy to use the whole given name is different. Turning Christopher into Chris, William into Billy, etc when that is not what the person wants is wrong. But using someone's legal given name? I really don't see the problem. If you're so hard over on being called Bella (or Chris or Billy), than that should be your legal name.

Also, nobody really cares if your grandmother literally died while you were in labor--that isn't relevant to the fact that you should have just named her what you insist she be called.

Hello, my name is Red, but my friends call me Blue.

Hi, Blue! <--- because I'm not a dick.

Great, you're not a dick. But it appears you missed the point. Like the fact that teachers are not your friends?

Especially the teachers who don't call you what you ask them call you.

[Anonymous]

OP please save the "talk to the teacher and asst principal card" for somehing more important

my name is Jennifer and some teachers called me Jennifer, some jenny and some Jen. I absolutely hated jenny and usually went by Jen in high school. But I remember (fondly) the teachers who for whatever reason only called me Jenny and I also have family members who only call me Jennifer.

Your daughter has a beautiful name. Isabella is obviously important to you because of your family ties. It's the start of a long academic career for her: there will be plenty others who will call her by her given name.

[Anonymous]

IDK, if Isabella is her name, it's her name. Teachers don't have time to figure out what each precious flower wants to be called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends who are in MoCo had a similar issue. Their son's first name is a family name that is never used. He has ALWAYS been called by his middle name, but everyone he knows. He didn't even know his first name until pre-k.

In kindergarten the teacher insisted on calling him by his first name, and told my friends that the policy in MoCoPS is to use the name on the birth certificate, period. The parents finally went to the principal to get the issue resolved, but she confirmed that yes, in MoCo, at least, the child is to be called what is on the birth certificate (unless the parents make enough of a fuss, apparently).

My question is, what circumstances compelled the school systems to come up with this rule? My guess is parents fighting over custody with different name preferences ...

That is absolutely not true. My son goes by his middle name. Each year, his teachers ask him what he prefers to be called and that's what they call him. I have never gotten involved in this - he is certainly capable of informing people what he wants to be called. There is no policy against using nicknames.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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One of my student's first school experiences was walking into open house and being told to find their cubby and upon finding the cubby with the child's official first name, the parent informed the teacher that the student's official first name is a cultural name but they actually are called a different name. The teacher outright refused to call the child anything other than the official name and also refused to change the name on the cubby, even when the parent offered to do so for her. What a lovely first experience at school for the child and the parent. It's not a hill I would die on, but I guess it is for others.

That is a sad story, PP. And yes, worse things happen in the world -- but it's still a sad story. People who do something like that should not be teaching.

I think it's a really good lesson for parents. If you don't like your child's name don't name them that. If you like Bella don't name your child isabella. I think it's awesome and I'm glad teachers call parents out on their shit.

Yup. It's a good lesson for parents that teachers can be jerks.

Seriously, what part of this do you think is ok?

Teacher: "Isabella?"
Child: "Could you please call me Bella? That's the nickname I go by."
Teacher: "No."

Would you treat an adult like this?

Isabella life is not all about YOU. Your legal name is Isabella so that is what the teacher will call you. She and her mother need to stop playing victim and face reality. You don't always get everything you want in life. I think it's a great lesson. The mother needs to own her shit meaning " she named her isabella" which in this case was a mistake , own it and move on or legally change it. Don't teach your child it's ok to be a spoiled brat victim.

HA! I really want to observe this PP in real life:

Coworker 1: Hi, PP, I'd like you to meet our newest hire, Elizabeth!
PP: Nice to meet you, Elizabeth.
Coworker 2: You too -- and please, call me Beth.
PP: FUCK YOU. Your legal name is Elizabeth, so that is what I will call you. You need to stop playing victim and face reality! Own your name or legally change it, you spoiled brat victim.

bahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends who are in MoCo had a similar issue. Their son's first name is a family name that is never used. He has ALWAYS been called by his middle name, but everyone he knows. He didn't even know his first name until pre-k.

In kindergarten the teacher insisted on calling him by his first name, and told my friends that the policy in MoCoPS is to use the name on the birth certificate, period. The parents finally went to the principal to get the issue resolved, but she confirmed that yes, in MoCo, at least, the child is to be called what is on the birth certificate (unless the parents make enough of a fuss, apparently).

My question is, what circumstances compelled the school systems to come up with this rule? My guess is parents fighting over custody with different name preferences ...

Here are all of the MCPS policies related to students:

http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/policy/section.aspx?sectionID=10

A search on names gives results for the policy on naming schools.

And my children's teachers have called their classmates with nicknames by the nicknames.

tl;dr: either your friends misunderstood, or the principal made it up.

Absolutely agree!
At our MoCo kindergarten open house the teacher made a point of specifically asking which nicknames kids go by so that she could change the order of the cubbies. There was a kid named Bruce who went by Zack (for whatever reason!), so she actually shifted him down the class roster.

MCPS has no strict policy of calling students by the name on their birth certificates, and I'm a living witness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for OP.
Is Bella bothered by the incorrect name as well, or is it more you? Could Bella be feeding off of your feelings?
Should the teacher respect your wishes in terms of a name? Yes. But if it isn't truly bothering Bella -- and actually bothering you -- let it go.

Kids change nicknames all the time. Maybe that's why the teacher doesn't want to use nicknames and start the habit.

Bella honestly doesn't think to respond when someone says Izzy or Isabella. They may as well be saying Jennifer or Caroline. She knows her full name is Isabella and how to spell/write that, but she feels it's as relevant to know as her middle name.

She told me last night that she thinks the teacher hates her because she didn't reply when her name was called, AND other kids at her table were talking and the whole table got spoken to which Bella thinks means the teacher thinks she was talking, but she is too intimidated by the teacher to go clear things up and let her know she wasn't talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for OP.
Is Bella bothered by the incorrect name as well, or is it more you? Could Bella be feeding off of your feelings?
Should the teacher respect your wishes in terms of a name? Yes. But if it isn't truly bothering Bella -- and actually bothering you -- let it go.

Kids change nicknames all the time. Maybe that's why the teacher doesn't want to use nicknames and start the habit.

Bella honestly doesn't think to respond when someone says Izzy or Isabella. They may as well be saying Jennifer or Caroline. She knows her full name is Isabella and how to spell/write that, but she feels it's as relevant to know as her middle name.

She told me last night that she thinks the teacher hates her because she didn't reply when her name was called, AND other kids at her table were talking and the whole table got spoken to which Bella thinks means the teacher thinks she was talking, but she is too intimidated by the teacher to go clear things up and let her know she wasn't talking.

She doesn't need to clear something like that up. Your child needs to learn she is part of a group now, school isn't just for Bella and the teacher isn't just for Bella.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She doesn't need to clear something like that up. Your child needs to learn she is part of a group now, school isn't just for Bella and the teacher isn't just for Bella.

Kids can't learn too young that they're just interchangeable widgets in the education machine, eh, PP?

[Anonymous]

You know the teacher has a million other things to remember and she may have just forgotten what you told her. I mean...Really??! School just started and things are probably hectic right now w/everything getting settled in.

Let the teacher get her bearings squared away first and give her a few weeks to get more important things prioritized.

Do not add to her already stressful time by arranging a "special" meeting over something as trivial as this.

Be more respectful of the teacher. She has a very tough, but rewarding job and at times....It can be a thankless job as demonstrated here by both you and obviously your daughter. Why should your child HATE a teacher over something like this?? That is outrageous!!!!

Back in my day, we hated our teachers if they made us stay after school to clean the blackboards.