Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

That wouldn't be safe and happy, would it?

[Anonymous]

Healthy*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And 17 would be a good age to start.

Right, and at least one of the 17 should be with another woman.

You could not pay me enough money to go down on another woman. Gross.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

Another flip response by a non-parent who doesn't take the call of the question seriously. I bet you haven't had sex in months yourself.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

If you honestly believe this tell your partner, get tested on a regular basis and use a condom every single time you have sex.

BTW, this approach doesn't work well with very many women. If you want one reaction, watch Carmen Diaz's character's response to being called a "fuck buddy" by Tom Cruise's character in "Vanilla Sky."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

Another flip response by a non-parent who doesn't take the call of the question seriously. I bet you haven't had sex in months yourself.

Grow up.

Lol. Are you for real? Are you seriously going to say you've never had sex with someone *just* because you thought he/she was hot with no expectations about what might happen later? Or at least been tempted to? I kind of feel sorry for you if so. And fwiw, this is coming from someone who met her future husband at 22 so my # isn't even that high relatively speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And 17 would be a good age to start.

Right, and at least one of the 17 should be with another woman.

You could not pay me enough money to go down on another woman. Gross.

+1000000

This proves my point that most people know their sexual identities solidly. Contrary to heterosexist myth, very few women are in fact lesbian or bisexual, and they have to work harder to find each other for relationships. If you doubt, just read Dan Savage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

If you honestly believe this tell your partner, get tested on a regular basis and use a condom every single time you have sex.

BTW, this approach doesn't work well with very many women. If you want one reaction, watch Carmen Diaz's character's response to being called a "fuck buddy" by Tom Cruise's character in "Vanilla Sky."

I haven't seen this movie but I've never been crushed when a guy I fancied didn't want anything serious. They seldom do in college anyway. Most people just want to have some fun and then gossip to their friends afterwards It doesn't have to be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

Another flip response by a non-parent who doesn't take the call of the question seriously. I bet you haven't had sex in months yourself.

Grow up.

Lol. Are you for real? Are you seriously going to say you've never had sex with someone *just* because you thought he/she was hot with no expectations about what might happen later? Or at least been tempted to? I kind of feel sorry for you if so. And fwiw, this is coming from someone who met her future husband at 22 so my # isn't even that high relatively speaking.

I'm for real. I met my future husband at 23 and yes I've been attracted to many people that way. I just don't like to have sex just because some is "hot." My heart gets in the way. I want a relationship. I got one with a DH who feels as I do. It's lasted almost two decades now, and we're raising kids who have remarkably similar personalities to ours, so they'll probably end up with the same attitudes.

If you can't handle it, you can grow up, too, but I suspect that most people, deep down inside, are looking for someone to love. Causal sex just isn't it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

Another flip response by a non-parent who doesn't take the call of the question seriously. I bet you haven't had sex in months yourself.

Grow up.

Lol. Are you for real? Are you seriously going to say you've never had sex with someone *just* because you thought he/she was hot with no expectations about what might happen later? Or at least been tempted to? I kind of feel sorry for you if so. And fwiw, this is coming from someone who met her future husband at 22 so my # isn't even that high relatively speaking.

I'm for real. I met my future husband at 23 and yes I've been attracted to many people that way. I just don't like to have sex just because some is "hot." My heart gets in the way. I want a relationship. I got one with a DH who feels as I do. It's lasted almost two decades now, and we're raising kids who have remarkably similar personalities to ours, so they'll probably end up with the same attitudes.

If you can't handle it, you can grow up, too, but I suspect that most people, deep down inside, are looking for someone to love. Causal sex just isn't it.

Of course most people are looking for love. My point is that there is nothing wrong with having casual sex while you look for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

If you honestly believe this tell your partner, get tested on a regular basis and use a condom every single time you have sex.

BTW, this approach doesn't work well with very many women. If you want one reaction, watch Carmen Diaz's character's response to being called a "fuck buddy" by Tom Cruise's character in "Vanilla Sky."

I haven't seen this movie but I've never been crushed when a guy I fancied didn't want anything serious. They seldom do in college anyway. Most people just want to have some fun and then gossip to their friends afterwards It doesn't have to be a big deal.

That's another thing. I don't think many people just want to compare sexual experiences around the breakfast table the day afterward. That's a myth perpetuated by "Sex and the City" and shows like that.

Here's what my friends and I heard more of: "Oh, I met this terrific guy. We're going out Friday, and if it works out, I'll introduce you to him."
Occasionally, we heard something like this: "I slept with X and he didn't call back. What went wrong?"
Then, we'd all commiserate about it and help her through it until she met someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the question about how many partners daughters have? If you're a straight male, you're going to be banging someone's daughter so what's with giving a shit about numbers and all? Worry about yourself.

Sounds like slut defense.

Sounds like a homosexual, which is fine but why do you care what straight people do? It has nothing to do with you.

Homophobia has no place on this thread or this board.

That isn't a homophobic remark. If you think it's fine for men to sleep around but not women, you're basically saying you sleep with men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Sure. Honestly, I think 100 wouldn't even be that high if you end up marrying late like late thirties, early forties. Some people have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one.

At those ridiculously highly fictional numbers, it's obviously a person who needs Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: http://www.slaafws.org/

Growing up in DC in the 1980s, I've known an handful of men and women like this. They're always tortured. They're either driven by repetition compulsion or some other affliction. Almost all want a solid, loving relationship with someone who really cares about them. Nobody wants to be used, certainly not seriously.

However, I honestly think you're being disingenuous in your post and that you'd never consider LTRs with anyone of that description.

Some people see sex as an enjoyable way to get some necessary physical release and don't view every partner as a potential ltr. Just a little FYI.

Another flip response by a non-parent who doesn't take the call of the question seriously. I bet you haven't had sex in months yourself.

Grow up.

Lol. Are you for real? Are you seriously going to say you've never had sex with someone *just* because you thought he/she was hot with no expectations about what might happen later? Or at least been tempted to? I kind of feel sorry for you if so. And fwiw, this is coming from someone who met her future husband at 22 so my # isn't even that high relatively speaking.

I'm for real. I met my future husband at 23 and yes I've been attracted to many people that way. I just don't like to have sex just because some is "hot." My heart gets in the way. I want a relationship. I got one with a DH who feels as I do. It's lasted almost two decades now, and we're raising kids who have remarkably similar personalities to ours, so they'll probably end up with the same attitudes.

If you can't handle it, you can grow up, too, but I suspect that most people, deep down inside, are looking for someone to love. Causal sex just isn't it.

Of course most people are looking for love. My point is that there is nothing wrong with having casual sex while you look for it.

Maybe, but do your partner a favor and give informed consent before you do that. If you're just going to have casual sex, don't leave him or her to believe in the hope for a possible relationship afterward ... and always use condoms.