what's your biggest regret in life?

[Anonymous]

Not having a better relationship with my mom (who has now passed) and marrying my ex who is a huge douche bag in every sense. But I love my kid so it's hard to really regret the ex. I think things happen for a reason. I realize that may sound naive, but I am who am I am today because of all these experiences/regrets.

[Anonymous]

Cutting off my sister who had major issues- she was a very business smart/ successful- 300K salary but was a mess- she disowned her family- I was her last connection and she stood us up with BS excuse too many times so I told her I was done. It wasn't apparent to use but she was socially controlling with the family in her 20s and grew more so later on. It was like constantly being threatened if you do x you'll never hear from me again- and she really appeared not to care. Anyway- she committed suicide and no my parents are guardians for her messed up 16 year old. It has damaged our family "dynamics" - my mom and I were getting closer but when sister died she got nsty with me beyond belief- and for over a year. Not easy to have a mom telling you that you are crap constantly- before sis died I was so appreciated what I did- now it;s not enoug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting my depression and anxiety treated sooner. But I can't really blame myself for that as it's part of the disease. I wish my parents had realized how depressed I was throughout middle and high school though.

Reading all of these makes me want to print this out and share it with my sones when they get to be teenagers. I love the honesty.

Same here for the depression and anxiety. I had insomnia at age 8. It's a miracle I didn't commit suicide in high school (I tried and STILL never got counseling). Once I started on SSRI's after college, I was like, OH, THIS is what it's supposed to feel like! My brain was finally quiet.

OP here. The worst (aside from realizing how much of my life went missing due to this disease) is forgiving myself for how I've treated others while depressed and anxious. I've been a terrible employee, a snippy mom, an absent spouse. It's hard to let that go and I wish more than anything that I didn't have to live with that guilt.

Thank you ladies for your honest discussion about depression. I have suspected that my teen daughter (aged 16) is suffering from depression, but have passed it off as "teenage angst". She says there is no issue, but there is. This is a true wake-up call. I've since called and scheduled for her to go in and speak with a therapist.

I think that's terrific. So many parents miss depression in their children. I think parents don't want to admit it. You're being a good parent to your daughter by recognizing it and taking action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cutting off my sister who had major issues- she was a very business smart/ successful- 300K salary but was a mess- she disowned her family- I was her last connection and she stood us up with BS excuse too many times so I told her I was done. It wasn't apparent to use but she was socially controlling with the family in her 20s and grew more so later on. It was like constantly being threatened if you do x you'll never hear from me again- and she really appeared not to care. Anyway- she committed suicide and no my parents are guardians for her messed up 16 year old. It has damaged our family "dynamics" - my mom and I were getting closer but when sister died she got nsty with me beyond belief- and for over a year. Not easy to have a mom telling you that you are crap constantly- before sis died I was so appreciated what I did- now it;s not enoug.

I'm sorry. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Not studying abroad my junior year used to be it. But now I know that DD wouldn't have been born as a result a few years later.

Mine is not taking a chance and putting it out there to this guy that I had a huge crush on. I used to feel like he could do better than me and feared rejection. By the time he reached out, I was nearly married to an azzhole. I always wonder what ifs. I wish I hadnt been such a coward.

[Anonymous]

High school drop out. Should've enjoyed high school when I had the chance. Two abortions with my first love who beat me up on occasions for 5 years. Slept with my best friends crush. Did a lot of drugs. Had a lot of men issues. Yes I had daddy issues, my father was very abusive and I was afraid of him (should've called the cops on him a long time ago when he was beating on my mom but I was the youngest of 4 and my brothers didn't do anything so I didn't know any better). I should've just concentrated on school and enjoyed high school minus the drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not being able to have a second child. I am so lucky to have DS, but I am an only, DH is an only with no living family to speak of, and I never imagined we would just have one. I regret not being able to parent more than one, and I regret that someday DS could be very alone in the world.

I'm sorry. Have you considered adoption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not having a better relationship with my mom (who has now passed) and marrying my ex who is a huge douche bag in every sense. But I love my kid so it's hard to really regret the ex. I think things happen for a reason. I realize that may sound naive, but I am who am I am today because of all these experiences/regrets.

I don't believe in pre-determination and that things happen for a reason but through all the BS, my child is still the greatest thing ever in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not becoming a writer because I wanted to 'challenge myself' and also, do something practical (which has worked out, but it gets old being a mom AND being in a position where you are everyone's mother). Now I've been using the left side of my brain for so long, I have a hard time connecting my inner thoughts and observations with my speaking or writing, and it seems to be getting worse with age.

+1. I wish I had quit my hated job and gone for a creative writing MFA before getting married and becoming a SAHM. I realize that I would not have had wonderful kids but doesn't everybody love the kids they have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:abortion

+1 - my only regret. it was 20 years ago and still haunts me.

[Anonymous]

Not following my passion - career-wise. I thought is was silly and not a "real career". Looking back, it would have saved me from a number of boring jobs where I had no passion.

[Anonymous]

I have so many regrets. At the top of my list, I regret not thinking through the practicalities of marriage and children before embarking on them. Both my husband and I agree that we would have had one of us stay home.

[Anonymous]

Letting my kodakgallery account go inactive. All of my single fun life in my 20s in NYC was documented in photos saved on kodakgallery that were deleted. I feel like crying every time I think about it.

[Anonymous]

Not buying a house with an in-law/au pair suite. DHa nd I bought before kids, and didn't realize how nice an au-pair would be, esp. when dealing with early release/teacher workdays/etc.

[Anonymous]

Not dating more people before marrying my husband. I don't regret marrying him at all, but we met at 26 and he was my first real long-term relationship (and the second man I slept with). In waiting for the *perfect* man, I think I missed out on a lot of learning experiences that would help me put some things in our relationship into better context now.