what's your biggest regret in life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having children so young (teen Mom).

My cousin was a teen mom, and I am SO jealous of her skinny figure (at 46) and her freedom! Now, she did get married and all that jazz, and there were hardships she faced, but man does she look good!

I, on the other hand, look my age.

I bet you look good, too, PP.

Um, did she ever get an education? Who cares how you look at 46?

Please stop being so judgmental. Yes, I do hold a degree. I'm also married to the man who is the father of that child (and the next 3 we have together). Absent a one-year "break", we've been together for 18 years; married for almost 11.

And yes, original pp...I think I look pretty great for my age and the # of children I have (32/4). Thanks!

I meant your cousin who was a teen mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting my depression and anxiety treated sooner. But I can't really blame myself for that as it's part of the disease. I wish my parents had realized how depressed I was throughout middle and high school though.

Reading all of these makes me want to print this out and share it with my sones when they get to be teenagers. I love the honesty.

Same here for the depression and anxiety. I had insomnia at age 8. It's a miracle I didn't commit suicide in high school (I tried and STILL never got counseling). Once I started on SSRI's after college, I was like, OH, THIS is what it's supposed to feel like! My brain was finally quiet.

OP here. The worst (aside from realizing how much of my life went missing due to this disease) is forgiving myself for how I've treated others while depressed and anxious. I've been a terrible employee, a snippy mom, an absent spouse. It's hard to let that go and I wish more than anything that I didn't have to live with that guilt.

Thank you ladies for your honest discussion about depression. I have suspected that my teen daughter (aged 16) is suffering from depression, but have passed it off as "teenage angst". She says there is no issue, but there is. This is a true wake-up call. I've since called and scheduled for her to go in and speak with a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having children so young (teen Mom).

My cousin was a teen mom, and I am SO jealous of her skinny figure (at 46) and her freedom! Now, she did get married and all that jazz, and there were hardships she faced, but man does she look good!

I, on the other hand, look my age.

I bet you look good, too, PP.

Um, did she ever get an education? Who cares how you look at 46?

Please stop being so judgmental. Yes, I do hold a degree. I'm also married to the man who is the father of that child (and the next 3 we have together). Absent a one-year "break", we've been together for 18 years; married for almost 11.

And yes, original pp...I think I look pretty great for my age and the # of children I have (32/4). Thanks!

I meant your cousin who was a teen mom.

I'm not the pp (with the teen mom cousin), I'm the person who posted about being a teen Mom. You insinuated that teen mom=uneducated and I wanted to inform you that this is not always the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being able to give my virginity to my husband

This just sounds creepy and ultra religious.

Not the PP, and not religious at all, but YOU just sound ultra judgmental.

New Poster, but it does sound weird and religious.

It IS religious. Is it okay with you if some people are religious, including with respect to sex? If not, what are you afraid of?

Thank you, PP. This regret did not start off having any religious aspect to it, though I have grown in my faith in time.

I will say it any way DCUM likes. I wish my husband were the only person I had ever had any physical contact with, because he is the love of my life, and I wish I had always belonged only to him.

Also, not like it would matter to the judgmental folk here, but my only other physical "relationship" was nonconsensual. Perhaps that is why I chose to phrase it the way I did.

So sad that the idea that lifelong, faithful, chaste love has fallen out of cultural favor. Think of how much suffering would be avoided and how much joy would be experienced if this were still pursued as an ideal.

Just look at how many previous responses had to do with abortion, sex too soon or with the wrong person, poor choices in relationships (often because indulging in physical attraction overrode common sense), promiscuity, etc. And how many PP's will fight with all they have to ensure their children do not grow up to have the same regrets.

I hope my daughters and my sons ("wussy" to have one true love and be faithful to her even before meeting her??) are able to remain counter cultural and give all of themselves to their future spouses. My husband gave that to me, and it is my greatest treasure. Not being able to do the same is my deepest regret.

[Anonymous]

Talking my DH out of placing a bet on the Nats to go all the way this year when we were in Vegas last February.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Law school. I should have been a journalist. Hated the law so much, now I stay home.

This. Are you me?

I regret studying / working as a journalist. Horrible hours, shitty pay, dying industry with no future.

You don't a need a license to practice journalism. You can start your own blog or write for your local Patch. (Sucky options, but that's the type of stuff my former classmates and colleagues are doing.) So happy I'm a "former journalist."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My absolute biggest regret is my total and absolute failure as a mother to my oldest son. I have failed him by all of my standards. I push him too hard. I'm too demanding. I'm too critical. I have continually failed to meet him where his is academically emotionally, physically--his entire life. I regret that he has me for a mother. He deserves a better, kinder, more forgiving, more accepting mother. I am trying every day to be a better mom to him--but every year, as I look back I feel I have gotten worse and worse. He is only 12. I have tried therapy on and off for years. I will again. I am almost wild with grief that there are only 3 weeks left of summer and then we are back to our eternal battle ground issue: school.

I'm a high strung Type A person and I tend towards being a high strung parent. Taking an anti-depressant/antii-anxiety medication helps me be a more relaxed person and a more relaxed parent. I'm on a low dose of Zoloft and it makes me a better mom.

[Anonymous]

Not finishing my PhD. Or going to graduate school in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not finishing my PhD. Or going to graduate school in the first place.

But writing this makes me realize how lucky I am to have this as my greatest regret. I hope it remains that way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being able to give my virginity to my husband

This just sounds creepy and ultra religious.

Not the PP, and not religious at all, but YOU just sound ultra judgmental.

New Poster, but it does sound weird and religious.

It IS religious. Is it okay with you if some people are religious, including with respect to sex? If not, what are you afraid of?

Thank you, PP. This regret did not start off having any religious aspect to it, though I have grown in my faith in time.

I will say it any way DCUM likes. I wish my husband were the only person I had ever had any physical contact with, because he is the love of my life, and I wish I had always belonged only to him.

Also, not like it would matter to the judgmental folk here, but my only other physical "relationship" was nonconsensual. Perhaps that is why I chose to phrase it the way I did.

So sad that the idea that lifelong, faithful, chaste love has fallen out of cultural favor. Think of how much suffering would be avoided and how much joy would be experienced if this were still pursued as an ideal.

Just look at how many previous responses had to do with abortion, sex too soon or with the wrong person, poor choices in relationships (often because indulging in physical attraction overrode common sense), promiscuity, etc. And how many PP's will fight with all they have to ensure their children do not grow up to have the same regrets.

I hope my daughters and my sons ("wussy" to have one true love and be faithful to her even before meeting her??) are able to remain counter cultural and give all of themselves to their future spouses. My husband gave that to me, and it is my greatest treasure. Not being able to do the same is my deepest regret.

I am very sorry you had a nonconsensual sexual encounter. I wish that never happened to anyone.

Personally, I don't object to religion or having one true love or only having one sexual partner, but I do have some issues with describing the absence of previous partners as "only belonging to him" or "giving all of yourself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting my depression and anxiety treated sooner. But I can't really blame myself for that as it's part of the disease. I wish my parents had realized how depressed I was throughout middle and high school though.

Reading all of these makes me want to print this out and share it with my sones when they get to be teenagers. I love the honesty.

Same here for the depression and anxiety. I had insomnia at age 8. It's a miracle I didn't commit suicide in high school (I tried and STILL never got counseling). Once I started on SSRI's after college, I was like, OH, THIS is what it's supposed to feel like! My brain was finally quiet.

OP here. The worst (aside from realizing how much of my life went missing due to this disease) is forgiving myself for how I've treated others while depressed and anxious. I've been a terrible employee, a snippy mom, an absent spouse. It's hard to let that go and I wish more than anything that I didn't have to live with that guilt.

Thank you ladies for your honest discussion about depression. I have suspected that my teen daughter (aged 16) is suffering from depression, but have passed it off as "teenage angst". She says there is no issue, but there is. This is a true wake-up call. I've since called and scheduled for her to go in and speak with a therapist.

No - thank you! I'm honored that my words touched you. Good luck with your daughter!

[Anonymous]

not having children

[Anonymous]

Not becoming a writer because I wanted to 'challenge myself' and also, do something practical (which has worked out, but it gets old being a mom AND being in a position where you are everyone's mother). Now I've been using the left side of my brain for so long, I have a hard time connecting my inner thoughts and observations with my speaking or writing, and it seems to be getting worse with age.

[Anonymous]

Not being able to have a second child. I am so lucky to have DS, but I am an only, DH is an only with no living family to speak of, and I never imagined we would just have one. I regret not being able to parent more than one, and I regret that someday DS could be very alone in the world.

[Anonymous]

not being able to truly relate to my parents, ever - i.e. I have spent my lifetime feeling alienated from them and wondering how they could possibly be my parents.