Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s nice he is telling you how important kids are are to him before you marry. What if he didn’t tell you until after?

Nope, there are lots of ways to have kids with infertility. He’s telling OP how important her uterus is to him.

Yeah. Like with someone else.

Again, he’s showing he doesn’t love her.

He just wants a broodmare. Broads with damaged goods need not apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boyfriend of 2 years began talking about children making emphasis that he wanted them to be his. I then asked what would happen if I can't have kids. He said he would discontinue the relationship. While I recognize his right to pursue bio children, I feel uncomfortable with someone that would say something like this to me and I'm leaning towards moving on.

Has anybody had a similar experience?

Ooof ask him if he had his sperm tested yet before he rallies on about his superiority. FFS.

Right! I’d feel like a useful object and not a person. Sucks and I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is perfectly normal and acceptable; just an incompatibility due to physical limitations. What weird responses in this thread.

None of you would have a problem if a woman dumped her BF because he became unable to support children financially due to a physical ailment.

I would have a huge problem with that. As would tons of women?

[Anonymous]

I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal. My husbands said the same. I didn’t think twice because I thought it was the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

I can guarantee there is at least one man posting here with a deep well of shame and insecurity at his center, and for whom the reality of what she would do is not nearly as important as his impotent feelings about what she would do.

[Anonymous]

This forum is so quick to get knives out and getting shark lawyers on speed dial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

I can guarantee there is at least one man posting here with a deep well of shame and insecurity at his center, and for whom the reality of what she would do is not nearly as important as his impotent feelings about what she would do.

Yeah, what? Like most people think it’s horrible for a person to say they’d leave a future spouse over a medical condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP would stay with someone who couldn't earn anymore or got impotent.

It’s very common for men to dump their partners after a cancer diagnosis, so much so that the doctors office will often mention this. Women are more likely to stick around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This forum is so quick to get knives out and getting shark lawyers on speed dial.

Why would you need a lawyer to stop dating someone?

What country are you posting from?

[Anonymous]

The fact that he said he would discontinue the relationship without considering other options such as: donor egg and surrogacy is a huge red flag. He can want biological children, but if you are unable to carry them or use your eggs and you are open to donor egg or surrogacy, then he will just drop you? I say move on. If you are ever going to deal with fertility issues, he is not going to be there for you. I'd say have a more in-depth conversation about the kid issue and how you are feeling with him and then decide. From what you have written, it's a red flag.

[Anonymous]

DTMFA

[Anonymous]

DTMFA. He’s already saying this is not “in sickness and in health” for him. I have a cousin who had uterine rupture from which she nearly died, and her baby was stillborn. The loss of her child was 10000x more painful because she also lost her fertility with an emergency hysterectomy. But her husband was 100% by her side through it and afterward. Grief has been horrible but they are each other’s best friends.

If you marry this guy and God forbid something like this happens to you, do you want to be wondering how long he will stay before he looks for a woman with a working uterus? Trash this refuse pile of a man.

[Anonymous]

I would move on OP, unless he's had his swimmers tested and can provide paperwork, you will probably be blamed for any infertility issues.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I struggled with infertility for 4 years, after 2 years he was ready to start the adoption process but it was very important to me to carry our own biological children. Luckily we were able to have 2 kids of our own through IVF. I understand what your boyfriend is saying about wanting his own biological kids, in my case I think we would have eventually used a sperm or egg donor if necessary but I don’t think it’s wrong to have that as a strong preference.