Postcard as a wedding thank-you -- is this the new norm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?

I think this is fine, the personalized notes are also fill in the blank (witness your example above). Just be happy they thanked you in a timely manner. It took us a year to send out thank you cards because writing long, personalized cards was such a pain in the butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope these pointless and EXPENSIVE traditions die with the Boomers. As a millennial, I don’t need a thank you, especially for a wedding gift. The open bar was my thank you.

Cool. Then I hope the tradition of giving expensive wedding gifts ends as well.

This! I will add that another tradition that needs to die is the expectation that I will send a couple an expensive gift although I am not able to attend the wedding. Or that I need to spend a certain amount to cover the cost of my plate if I do attend your wedding.

Such fussy old traditions I’m sure the under-30 set won’t mi$$ the$e “boomer” tradition$

- genX

Boomers were never tacky and asking for meal payments or cash for trips.

They sure were tacky enough to register for useless china knickknacks and silver candlesticks, and ARE tacky enough to try to foist them off on younger people at every turn. No, Linda, we don’t want your hideous gravy boat. Stop with the guilt trip.

Not everone enjoys using silver and fine china. A lot of these opinions reflect one's background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?

I think this is fine, the personalized notes are also fill in the blank (witness your example above). Just be happy they thanked you in a timely manner. It took us a year to send out thank you cards because writing long, personalized cards was such a pain in the butt.

Proper ones are not that way. You actually handwrite out your appreciation. Shocking, I know, but if guests dump a couple of hundred dollars on a gift, the couple can sit down and scribble out a note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I care about is making sure the gift was received. So any sort of acknowledgement is fine. They can text me a thank you for all I care.

SAME

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I care about is making sure the gift was received. So any sort of acknowledgement is fine. They can text me a thank you for all I care.

SAME

+1.

[Anonymous]

This is silly. You’re intentionally looking for things to be upset about.

[Anonymous]

I just want to know the gift was received. I don’t need a note. (I also would have been happy at my own wedding many years ago to say no gifts but my MIL was insistent I register or people would still give me gifts and terrible ones at that. She was right since even with registry we got some - unique - gifts. I think both gifts and thank you notes should go the way of the dodo. Very few people nowadays marry so young and at the same time will live the kind of lifestyle where they need help getting household items.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?

I think this is fine, the personalized notes are also fill in the blank (witness your example above). Just be happy they thanked you in a timely manner. It took us a year to send out thank you cards because writing long, personalized cards was such a pain in the butt.

Proper ones are not that way. You actually handwrite out your appreciation. Shocking, I know, but if guests dump a couple of hundred dollars on a gift, the couple can sit down and scribble out a note.

This line of thinking is inane. But enjoy your rage I guess. Must be fun to get upset about things like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the cool young kids who think it’s old fashioned to be expected to write thank you notes- you have no idea how grasping and greedy you all look, planning your destination weddings and asking for money (!) for things like houses and honeymoons. If you don’t want to write a thank you note, don’t expect people to fork out for your wedding!

You're missing the point here. They DID handwrite out a thank you note, it just didn't have enough handwritten words for OP. And feel free to not fork out for any wedding you don't want to. Problem solved.

- GenXer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised that the polite thing to do is write a personalized thank you note so I did that. I was fortunate though, I was between jobs, so while I was overwhelmed with moving and other things, I could make the time. If I was working full time, and managing a bunch of other things, I would have to cut corners and at least it includes a thank you.

I have gotten over pearl clutching these days. I try to do what i think is the right thing and have grace when I think others don't. I remind myself that i don't know what they have going on and I'd rather not add to anyone's stress. I also have better boundaries about just declining that family destination wedding for someone I am not close to, etc.

But here is the thing. If a bride and a groom are willing to receive a gift, then they should be able to properly thank the gift giver. It has nothing to do with whether you are working or not working or busy or not. If your arms are open to receiving gifts, then they should be open to writing a thank you note. It really is that simple.

In OP's case they did write a thank you note. So what are you whining about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am solidly Team OP. When I am fortunate enough to be invited to a wedding, not only do I try to find a registry gift that seems meaningful (and is expensive) or I give a generous check. I ALSO take time to hand write a note that is personal and celebrates the couple, the event, and their future together. I am gracious at the even, thank the couple and any parent hosts for including me, etc.

I don’t think it is too much to ask that adults who are old enough to get married, have a fancy and expensive wedding, and expect (yes, of course they do) gifts to spend a whole 5-7 minutes to hand write a thank you note that shows gratitude for the effort I (and every other guest) put into their wedding. Same for bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmations, quincieneras, sweet sixteens, graduations, etc.

I’m old, I guess, and tired of living in what feels more and more like a transactional social environment where nothing has any human touch anymore.

Just think of all the productive things you could have done with your time instead of bothering to type out that slog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?

I think this is fine, the personalized notes are also fill in the blank (witness your example above). Just be happy they thanked you in a timely manner. It took us a year to send out thank you cards because writing long, personalized cards was such a pain in the butt.

Proper ones are not that way. You actually handwrite out your appreciation. Shocking, I know, but if guests dump a couple of hundred dollars on a gift, the couple can sit down and scribble out a note.

This line of thinking is inane. But enjoy your rage I guess. Must be fun to get upset about things like this.

And you enjoy being rude and not taking the time to write a note.

[Anonymous]

What would have satisfied you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Life is stressful, $ doesn't come easy.
If the above trend fills the required tradition to write a thank you note; then I am all for it.
I love the postcard photo idea (nice touch)
and paying less for a stamp. What not to love, they are either a friend or relative or both.
Ask why you felt annoyed and try to work on that.

*stamp is currently 73 cent each

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope these pointless and EXPENSIVE traditions die with the Boomers. As a millennial, I don’t need a thank you, especially for a wedding gift. The open bar was my thank you.

Cool. Then I hope the tradition of giving expensive wedding gifts ends as well.

This! I will add that another tradition that needs to die is the expectation that I will send a couple an expensive gift although I am not able to attend the wedding. Or that I need to spend a certain amount to cover the cost of my plate if I do attend your wedding.

Such fussy old traditions I’m sure the under-30 set won’t mi$$ the$e “boomer” tradition$

- genX

Boomers were never tacky and asking for meal payments or cash for trips.

They sure were tacky enough to register for useless china knickknacks and silver candlesticks, and ARE tacky enough to try to foist them off on younger people at every turn. No, Linda, we don’t want your hideous gravy boat. Stop with the guilt trip.

Not everone enjoys using silver and fine china. A lot of these opinions reflect one's background.

I enjoy using the fine china that I picked out, that reflects my taste. My “background” is that offering something once is polite, pushing it and guilt tripping is rude. But Boomer women just can’t get over that no one wants their old junk. God forbid you donate it to charity or pay the small fee for one of the services that will sell it on eBay. No no, they save it and try to foist it on a daughter or niece every five minutes.