S/O- how diverse is your kid's friend group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

, she's having a great time, all her friends are white, and who the hell cares.

OMG! That’s terrrrrrrrrible!!!!!

More diverse than you might expect, though. One is Australian and another is Danish. So she's being exposed to other cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

, she's having a great time, all her friends are white, and who the hell cares.

OMG! That’s terrrrrrrrrible!!!!!

Isn't it, though? IMAGINE, being friends with people who have a shared culture. I'm chilled to my core.

[Anonymous]

If your child starts college at a T30 as planned but it turns out their friend group is not sufficiently diverse, maybe you could just post on a local message board and offer to pay a few BIPOCs to be friends with your white kid?

[Anonymous]

Kids at different T5s. They don’t consciously exclude other groups but their core friend groups are definitely mostly self segregated, e.g. East Asians and south Asians with a few Hispanics and whites, and vice versa. It’s not diverse in the sense of racially even distribution, but it’s not zero diversity either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

, she's having a great time, all her friends are white, and who the hell cares.

OMG! That’s terrrrrrrrrible!!!!!

Isn't it, though? IMAGINE, being friends with people who have a shared culture. I'm chilled to my core.

So much better than hypocrite, so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your answer is that your child’s friend group isn’t very diverse, do you feel guilty about that?

You should. Honestly ask yourself: have you done everything you could to advance diversity in your child’s friend-group?

Why should we do that? Those are your values; we value being around kind smart people. I actually don’t care how diverse they are and will not go out of my way to cultivate a group for diversity sake. I will cultivate a group that speaks to my values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your answer is that your child’s friend group isn’t very diverse, do you feel guilty about that?

You should. Honestly ask yourself: have you done everything you could to advance diversity in your child’s friend-group?

Why should we do that? Those are your values; we value being around kind smart people. I actually don’t care how diverse they are and will not go out of my way to cultivate a group for diversity sake. I will cultivate a group that speaks to my values.

Perhaps your kids should seek out some dumb and mean friends so there is diversity in that department, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid has a friend group that includes white, black, Latino, south Asian, and East Asian, or a good majority of these, can you let me know the school? My kids have very diverse friend groups and I'm trying to figure out which T50 schools will give them both a good education AND an inclusive environment.

UVA for our kid.

Same place as the torch march in 2017?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids at different T5s. They don’t consciously exclude other groups but their core friend groups are definitely mostly self segregated, e.g. East Asians and south Asians with a few Hispanics and whites, and vice versa. It’s not diverse in the sense of racially even distribution, but it’s not zero diversity either.

Exactly WHY is the university allowing them to self-segregate along racial lines? WTAF??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is our kids’ experience. They attended a 50%+ URM (mostly Latino), high FARMS high school. We are Latino as well (both parents raised in Latin America), but not FARMS, and were able to support our kids’ many extracurriculars-mostly sports. Their friend groups in high school were mostly non-URMs because those were the students they met/crossed paths with the most in advanced classes, club sports and other ECs.

One of our kids is at UVA, while most of their friend group is white, they do have friends from different backgrounds: Black, East Asian, Middle Eastern, South Asian. Their Greek organization, is probably about 20% non-White.

Thank you, and I appreciate your sharing of your lived-experience; I truly do. Could you, however, try to be a little more inclusive, by use of Latinx in place of “Latino” ? It is important.

TIA !

Op. Are you seriously telling a Latino family how to describe themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your answer is that your child’s friend group isn’t very diverse, do you feel guilty about that?

You should. Honestly ask yourself: have you done everything you could to advance diversity in your child’s friend-group?

Why should we do that? Those are your values; we value being around kind smart people. I actually don’t care how diverse they are and will not go out of my way to cultivate a group for diversity sake. I will cultivate a group that speaks to my values.

What are those values? And why do you assume people of color don't share them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, people like you are the worst. You like to collect other UMC people of different colors so you can tell yourself and others what a great person you are. In reality you would never be friends with the Korean who does your dry cleaning, the Honduran who does your yard work, or even the Ethiopian family who serves you food at your "favorite" Ethiopian restaurant that you go to so you can brag to your friends about how "worldly" you are. What you actually want are UMC people who live in the same size house as you, drive the same cars as you, and send their kids to the same private school as you. Do better!

Op. You know nothing about me and you got almost everything in your post wrong.

[Anonymous]

Op. Thanks to all those who took the time to reply constructively. It's also a good reminder of what so many others of you really think underneath the shit-eating grin you wear all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

, she's having a great time, all her friends are white, and who the hell cares.

OMG! That’s terrrrrrrrrible!!!!!

Isn't it, though? IMAGINE, being friends with people who have a shared culture. I'm chilled to my core.

+1
All this pressure to be this or that is why we are where we are in politics. People need to find those with shared values who they feel comfortable with. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op. Thanks to all those who took the time to reply constructively. It's also a good reminder of what so many others of you really think underneath the shit-eating grin you wear all day.

It’s not a shit eating grin- I’d happily tell this to your face. It’s the truth for so many people - you don’t have to agree or like it