is anyone worried about their kid finding their spouse in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone that met their spouse in undergrad. Everyone i know met them in grad school or work.

+1 and most couples I met as undergrads are divorced.

Similar, though the ones I know who haven't divorced had one key thing in common; they dated for several years after college before marrying. The ones who got married a month after graduation? Those were all short lived marriages.

We’ve seen the exact opposite in our friend group. The divorced ones are the exception and nearly all of us met in undergrad.

+1 have a number of friends who met in college and all are doing great. Most got married several years later in late 20s. Many did long distance for a few yrs for grad school etc.

Another big chunk of friends met in grad school, so just a little older and married around age 30. That includes me and I'm glad for it - OLD etc seems awful. Law school is a lot of similar age, mostly single people with somewhat similar interests and you spend a lot of time together. You can't really replicate that organically later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not worried about my kids finding or not finding a spouse in undergrad. I’d prefer they not.

Why would you prefer they not? Are you attempting to influence who they love?

[Anonymous]

Not the poster you are responding to, but I don't want my kids finding their spouse in undergrad because they are way to young and need to live on their own for a bit after college, figure out who they are and what they want from a job and life, and then settle down. 18-22 is way too young these days to figure all that out and find a life-partner who has done the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ivy League grad here and I met my spouse (from a different school) through friends in college.

The choice of your spouse is probably the most important decision you will make in life. Assortative mating is the rule for people in the upper and upper middle classes.

Putting your child in a position to meet appropriate spousal material is absolutely a top consideration in choosing a college.

If you are not thinking about the backgrounds, abilities, and socioeconomic characteristics of your child’s peer group in college, then you are a fool.

What if kid only wants south and warm. And didn’t get in any top schools. Or if they did, didn’t want to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not something I'm worried about, but interestingly, for both of my daughters that is part of their "plan."

They have a lot of single older cousins so maybe that has influenced them plus the general societal angst about how hard it is to find someone and how horrible dating is in this day and age.

It’s also part of my daughter’s ‘plan’ which I find appalling and hysterical in equal parts. The girls is a planner and goal oriented so more power to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something I'm worried about, but interestingly, for both of my daughters that is part of their "plan."

They have a lot of single older cousins so maybe that has influenced them plus the general societal angst about how hard it is to find someone and how horrible dating is in this day and age.

It’s also part of my daughter’s ‘plan’ which I find appalling and hysterical in equal parts. The girls is a planner and goal oriented so more power to her.

How are there doing it?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone transferred to have better dating pool?

[Anonymous]

Lol wut. I would be worried they WOULD find the mate in college. That’s way too freaking early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone transferred to have better dating pool?

Oh Lawd, this stinks of total desperation. C'mon.

[Anonymous]

Never crossed my mind.

Do you have a lot of time on your hands? And why would a rah rah school be an issue? It’s the Ivies that create the Stephen Millers and Trumps and Josh Hawleys and Rafael Ted Cruz’s (or Cruces) of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something I'm worried about, but interestingly, for both of my daughters that is part of their "plan."

They have a lot of single older cousins so maybe that has influenced them plus the general societal angst about how hard it is to find someone and how horrible dating is in this day and age.

It’s also part of my daughter’s ‘plan’ which I find appalling and hysterical in equal parts. The girls is a planner and goal oriented so more power to her.

How are there doing it?

DP here. I assume for starters they don’t hookup or casually date. Only date boys who seem relatively mature and are future/family focused. Despite what this board says, boys like that do exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something I'm worried about, but interestingly, for both of my daughters that is part of their "plan."

They have a lot of single older cousins so maybe that has influenced them plus the general societal angst about how hard it is to find someone and how horrible dating is in this day and age.

It’s also part of my daughter’s ‘plan’ which I find appalling and hysterical in equal parts. The girls is a planner and goal oriented so more power to her.

You raised an idiot.

No daughter's goal should be to marry right. It should be to take care of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never crossed my mind.

Do you have a lot of time on your hands? And why would a rah rah school be an issue? It’s the Ivies that create the Stephen Millers and Trumps and Josh Hawleys and Rafael Ted Cruz’s (or Cruces) of the world.

+1

[Anonymous]

LOL DD's are not going to college after 2028 so what will they do then?

Yeah you didn't read Trump and The Heritage Foundation's fine print. They are already building maternity homes for your DD's.

Seriously, no women are going to college after 2028.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something I'm worried about, but interestingly, for both of my daughters that is part of their "plan."

They have a lot of single older cousins so maybe that has influenced them plus the general societal angst about how hard it is to find someone and how horrible dating is in this day and age.

It’s also part of my daughter’s ‘plan’ which I find appalling and hysterical in equal parts. The girls is a planner and goal oriented so more power to her.

You raised an idiot.

No daughter's goal should be to marry right. It should be to take care of themselves.

DP here. It should be both. Girls should take care of themselves and also seek to marry equals. No scrubs. My girls know this for sure.