is anyone worried about their kid finding their spouse in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:or is that outdated now? it seems much less common than it was, say 30 years ago.
If you are, is it worth making sure their school is the right fit for it and if not, transfer?

Currently have a HS senior interested in big rah rah and greek life...

My current senior just confessed to me that she aims to find a husband in college. Her friends apparently think she’s crazy! Also interested in big rah rah. I think she is influenced by some of our neighbors, both very smart engineers and still very much in love, who met at Penn State.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something I'm worried about, but interestingly, for both of my daughters that is part of their "plan."

They have a lot of single older cousins so maybe that has influenced them plus the general societal angst about how hard it is to find someone and how horrible dating is in this day and age.

It’s unlikely. Grad school is a good time though.

+1 my kids have zero interest in finding a spouse in college. I know a lot more people who met their spouses in grad school vs undergrad

My general experience has been that high achieving men marry their grad school girlfriends, much to the chagrin of their college girlfriends.

Just FYI that the demographics of law school are moving towards 60% female as well (it’s 58% now), much like undergrad. Every year, it skews more female.

My experience was that MBA programs have far more people already in serious relationships or married because you don’t attend until like 26 on average.

T6 / t10 /t14 law schools are skewed female?

Honest q.

[Anonymous]

A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

This is true. We fall in option #1. Neither married, but son graduated and still dating woman of different race. DD a senior in a 2-year relationship with young man of different race and seem to be headed in direction of marriage. Happy for them all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

This is true. We fall in option #1. Neither married, but son graduated and still dating woman of different race. DD a senior in a 2-year relationship with young man of different race and seem to be headed in direction of marriage. Happy for them all!

What races are your kids and their partners?

[Anonymous]

I had not thought about this issue earlier but my DS freshman got a GF very quickly and even brought her here for a weekend. Sweet and kind girl.

Fast forward to this week, when I learned that DS’s roommate had withdrawn from college two weeks ago. The GF (who already had her own small single) has basically moved in with my DS.

There is nothing I can do, as he is an adult. And I know from my own experience that an RA wouldn’t intervene. But isn’t there some adult on campus who could stop them from playing house?

I am praying.

[Anonymous]

11:47 again.

On Monday this week, DS called to say GF had invited him to spend Thanksgiving with her family. He had already promised neighbors here to help with small jobs this weekend, so he is here. But I think I need to prepare myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had not thought about this issue earlier but my DS freshman got a GF very quickly and even brought her here for a weekend. Sweet and kind girl.

Fast forward to this week, when I learned that DS’s roommate had withdrawn from college two weeks ago. The GF (who already had her own small single) has basically moved in with my DS.

There is nothing I can do, as he is an adult. And I know from my own experience that an RA wouldn’t intervene. But isn’t there some adult on campus who could stop them from playing house?

I am praying.

I did this twenty years ago. My roommate didn't drop out, but he tolerated my girlfriend living with us. We lived in the same dorm room for two years then got an apartment together off campus. We're happily married today.

[Anonymous]

I am worried because my DD is going in the Fall. And there are more women students than males.

[Anonymous]

DS who just graduated, started college with his HS Gf, they broke up and he's now 2 years in with someone else. They are talking about moving in once he's financially stable(he just started working 3 months ago). DD on the other hand is still with her HS bf and they are long distance, junior year of college.

[Anonymous]

I mean, if a woman wants a husband and children, it’s not too early to start in college. Women need to be more proactive nowadays because men are happy to sit at home and do not approach women as they used to. Of course, there is online, but generally it feels like the quality of men has declined so that is something to consider.

Through work, I know so so many younger women, in their late twenties and thirties, who have either not had a serious relationship or have not had one in years. These are well educated, funny, nice, cute women. It’s hard out there.

So, yeah, if that life is what women want long term, they absolutely should keep that in mind in college.

Imo, there is no “too young”. It’s all about the right person. I know couples that met in high school school and are happily married (both with great careers) and others who dated since high school, got married, and blew up spectacularly. You never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

+1

[Anonymous]

Most of the Ivies+ will be plurality-Asian within the next 5 years.

[Anonymous]

My freshman daughter is in a group of 8 close friends from high school. The only 2 who had any dates or interaction with guys in a romantic or flirty level during the fall semester attend liberal arts colleges. One is dating a guy, the second frankly slept around.

The rest attend medium size private colleges or state schools. These are all super lovely, smart, cute, well dressed girls. They get no attention or interest from guys at their respective schools and there are dozens of friends like them at each of their colleges. It's weird out there.

[Anonymous]

In my humble opinion, college is a great place to meet your spouse. My parents met in college, and have had a long and happy marriage.

I waited until after law school to get serious about dating, and although I love my husband, I wish I had met my person at an earlier age. I got married at 31 (kind of late), and then had fertility issues in my 30's.

I think it's ideal to meet a person during the college years, and then get married at perhaps age 26. Then the couple can have years of supporting each other in their careers or graduate school, and then perhaps start having kids in their late-20's when it's easier to get pregnant.