is anyone worried about their kid finding their spouse in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be worried if my kid were attending a school in a red state. Don't want to end up with MAGA in-laws.

I hope my kids find great life-long friends in college. If one becomes a spouse, then great, but no pressure at all to find someone when they're so young.

This is why ivy/t15 private is so important! Quality friends with the right intelligence level and great spouse potential

Ivies these days are 50% kids on full aid and 50% Asian (with some overlap between the two). Frankly, that dating pool isn't highly desirable at all for those looking to "marry well."

Endogamy will ensure your white daughter is in little danger of finding a mate at an Ivy school from now on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:or is that outdated now? it seems much less common than it was, say 30 years ago.
If you are, is it worth making sure their school is the right fit for it and if not, transfer?

Currently have a HS senior interested in big rah rah and greek life...

My current senior just confessed to me that she aims to find a husband in college. Her friends apparently think she’s crazy! Also interested in big rah rah. I think she is influenced by some of our neighbors, both very smart engineers and still very much in love, who met at Penn State.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not something I'm worried about, but interestingly, for both of my daughters that is part of their "plan."

They have a lot of single older cousins so maybe that has influenced them plus the general societal angst about how hard it is to find someone and how horrible dating is in this day and age.

It’s unlikely. Grad school is a good time though.

+1 my kids have zero interest in finding a spouse in college. I know a lot more people who met their spouses in grad school vs undergrad

My general experience has been that high achieving men marry their grad school girlfriends, much to the chagrin of their college girlfriends.

Just FYI that the demographics of law school are moving towards 60% female as well (it’s 58% now), much like undergrad. Every year, it skews more female.

My experience was that MBA programs have far more people already in serious relationships or married because you don’t attend until like 26 on average.

T6 / t10 /t14 law schools are skewed female?

Honest q.

[Anonymous]

Best way to get married in school is to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

This is true. We fall in option #1. Neither married, but son graduated and still dating woman of different race. DD a senior in a 2-year relationship with young man of different race and seem to be headed in direction of marriage. Happy for them all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

This is true. We fall in option #1. Neither married, but son graduated and still dating woman of different race. DD a senior in a 2-year relationship with young man of different race and seem to be headed in direction of marriage. Happy for them all!

What races are your kids and their partners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of dcums are going to have to accept one of these things for their umc white kids…

…they either bring someone home of similar or higher ses, but is a diffent race

…or they bring someone home of a similar race but lower ses

…or they are going to stay single and not have grandkids for you

The # of high ses white kids that will stay high ses in the north east or west coast is not high enough in numbers for everyone to pair off.

This is true. We fall in option #1. Neither married, but son graduated and still dating woman of different race. DD a senior in a 2-year relationship with young man of different race and seem to be headed in direction of marriage. Happy for them all!

👍 mixed babies are cute

[Anonymous]

I had not thought about this issue earlier but my DS freshman got a GF very quickly and even brought her here for a weekend. Sweet and kind girl.

Fast forward to this week, when I learned that DS’s roommate had withdrawn from college two weeks ago. The GF (who already had her own small single) has basically moved in with my DS.

There is nothing I can do, as he is an adult. And I know from my own experience that an RA wouldn’t intervene. But isn’t there some adult on campus who could stop them from playing house?

I am praying.

[Anonymous]

11:47 again.

On Monday this week, DS called to say GF had invited him to spend Thanksgiving with her family. He had already promised neighbors here to help with small jobs this weekend, so he is here. But I think I need to prepare myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had not thought about this issue earlier but my DS freshman got a GF very quickly and even brought her here for a weekend. Sweet and kind girl.

Fast forward to this week, when I learned that DS’s roommate had withdrawn from college two weeks ago. The GF (who already had her own small single) has basically moved in with my DS.

There is nothing I can do, as he is an adult. And I know from my own experience that an RA wouldn’t intervene. But isn’t there some adult on campus who could stop them from playing house?

I am praying.

I did this twenty years ago. My roommate didn't drop out, but he tolerated my girlfriend living with us. We lived in the same dorm room for two years then got an apartment together off campus. We're happily married today.