Any men here who walked away from their families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

As appalling as you are for other reasons, you did not actually abandon your kids and therefore you are not appalling in the ways that this is about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

Wow. You’re so gross. You sound like you’re dating someone barely legal and bragging about manipulating her and your kids? Yikes. Are you also like Nick where you’ve cheated on your wife the entire relationship? And going to start a new family and abandon your old one?

Weird flex to think your life is like that trainwreck. Who dies and leaves everyone better off 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

“They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me”
You sound like you’ve tried to purchase their affections. They might like you for your money, but having a child bride watching TikTok videos with them doesn’t build the sort of bond you’re theorizing. The men (people really) who hold money over people’s heads never do well in the long run.

Does your gf work? I wonder why you disparage SAHM when it was likely at least partly your idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will get slammed, but most of these marriages are dead and transactional by that point anyway. It’s rarely a shock to anyone, and in retrospect, often a blessing.

Marriage shouldn’t stop a father from being a father. If his marriage dissolves he’s no longer a husband, but he’s still a father. That isn’t an excuse for dead beats.

Some moms want to cover up their affair and play happy family with the ap. Dad’s role is only money and she refuses contact and alienates the kids. It goes both ways.

Nope. You can’t alienate the kids if you’re an involved caring parent to begin with. Stop making excuses for lazy men who refuse to parent.

Yes you can. You refuse phone calls and don’t have the kids there for dad’s time. Go to court, judge fusses at mom, mom makes promises and still refuses. Repeat. Kids want to please so they want to please mom or there are consequences.

That’s not how it works. If the guy is a good dad, the kids will want to call him and talk to him. They will want to see him and spend time with him. They will not take kindly to mom telling them no. Maybe you or your kids were exceptionally doormat-ish, but that’s not how most kids are. You can’t alienate someone else who the kids cherish and idolize.

Just sounds like you weren’t a very good dad to begin with if the switch flips that easily 🤷‍♀️

I am a woman who has a male friend who is currently dealing with this - his wife, who will eventually be his ex-wife but I hesitate to say STBX because I think it's going to take a long time - is abusing the system and alienating their daughter from him. He was the primary caregiver for their daughter most of her life (they both work but his job is more flexible) and dad and daughter are so close. All of our friends' kids, including mine, greatly prefer the dad to the mom, but the mom is lobbing insane allegations against the dad and is refusing to let him contact their daughter (she has moved with her to their vacation house). She has filed PPOs, which have been dismissed, pressed charges, filed a complaint with CPS, and is suing for full custody. He's knocking down the things one by one but they each take time and in the meantime he hasn't been able to see or talk to his daughter. I have no doubt the mom is doing her best to poison the girl against her dad and it's just crazy. So while I certainly hope that she won't be successful in her ultimate goal of completely alienating the daughter from her dad, but she's done a damn good job at keeping them apart for the last six weeks and who knows how much longer. I don't know how old you think these kids are, but when they can't drive and the parents control their devices, and therefore their communications, you absolutely can keep kids from a parent they long to see. Hopefully not forever, but I think you'd do some good to back off a bit and realize that you don't understand every situation and your stupid emojis and absolute statements aren't appropriate.

Do you think the daughter has forgotten her dad in the past 6 weeks? No, she has not.

You can stop visits and control communications yes. You cannot alienate them if the bond is already there. You are welcome to scroll past my posts if you like, but take your misogynistic garbage outta here blaming all women for their sh!tty partners being sh!tty dads who abandon their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

“They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me”
You sound like you’ve tried to purchase their affections. They might like you for your money, but having a child bride watching TikTok videos with them doesn’t build the sort of bond you’re theorizing. The men (people really) who hold money over people’s heads never do well in the long run.

Does your gf work? I wonder why you disparage SAHM when it was likely at least partly your idea.

Folks. This is satire, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will get slammed, but most of these marriages are dead and transactional by that point anyway. It’s rarely a shock to anyone, and in retrospect, often a blessing.

Marriage shouldn’t stop a father from being a father. If his marriage dissolves he’s no longer a husband, but he’s still a father. That isn’t an excuse for dead beats.

Some moms want to cover up their affair and play happy family with the ap. Dad’s role is only money and she refuses contact and alienates the kids. It goes both ways.

Nope. You can’t alienate the kids if you’re an involved caring parent to begin with. Stop making excuses for lazy men who refuse to parent.

Yes you can. You refuse phone calls and don’t have the kids there for dad’s time. Go to court, judge fusses at mom, mom makes promises and still refuses. Repeat. Kids want to please so they want to please mom or there are consequences.

That’s not how it works. If the guy is a good dad, the kids will want to call him and talk to him. They will want to see him and spend time with him. They will not take kindly to mom telling them no. Maybe you or your kids were exceptionally doormat-ish, but that’s not how most kids are. You can’t alienate someone else who the kids cherish and idolize.

Just sounds like you weren’t a very good dad to begin with if the switch flips that easily 🤷‍♀️

I am a woman who has a male friend who is currently dealing with this - his wife, who will eventually be his ex-wife but I hesitate to say STBX because I think it's going to take a long time - is abusing the system and alienating their daughter from him. He was the primary caregiver for their daughter most of her life (they both work but his job is more flexible) and dad and daughter are so close. All of our friends' kids, including mine, greatly prefer the dad to the mom, but the mom is lobbing insane allegations against the dad and is refusing to let him contact their daughter (she has moved with her to their vacation house). She has filed PPOs, which have been dismissed, pressed charges, filed a complaint with CPS, and is suing for full custody. He's knocking down the things one by one but they each take time and in the meantime he hasn't been able to see or talk to his daughter. I have no doubt the mom is doing her best to poison the girl against her dad and it's just crazy. So while I certainly hope that she won't be successful in her ultimate goal of completely alienating the daughter from her dad, but she's done a damn good job at keeping them apart for the last six weeks and who knows how much longer. I don't know how old you think these kids are, but when they can't drive and the parents control their devices, and therefore their communications, you absolutely can keep kids from a parent they long to see. Hopefully not forever, but I think you'd do some good to back off a bit and realize that you don't understand every situation and your stupid emojis and absolute statements aren't appropriate.

Do you think the daughter has forgotten her dad in the past 6 weeks? No, she has not.

You can stop visits and control communications yes. You cannot alienate them if the bond is already there. You are welcome to scroll past my posts if you like, but take your misogynistic garbage outta here blaming all women for their sh!tty partners being sh!tty dads who abandon their kids.

This usually backfires in a big way on the parent who's doing this. Courts prefer the people who try to keep the relationship functional. She'll FAFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

Wow. You’re so gross. You sound like you’re dating someone barely legal and bragging about manipulating her and your kids? Yikes. Are you also like Nick where you’ve cheated on your wife the entire relationship? And going to start a new family and abandon your old one?

Weird flex to think your life is like that trainwreck. Who dies and leaves everyone better off 😂

We have a friend who dated an older, much richer man, who eventually became his second wife. At first, she was impressed and willing to "mold" herself to him, but that didn't last long. No one living in 2025 will give up all autonomy and be controlled by their partner. Eventually her career took off and she started demanding respect in their marriage - and you know what - she got it. She's gorgeous, has a very interesting and successful career now, and is the mother of his new little kids. I'm not sure this will happen for you, but I can say that I saw a million red flags when she was dating an older, stubborn, controlling guy with kids (like, I told her she was insane), but she took the bull by the horns and fought to make it a workable marriage as she matured.

[Anonymous]

I know one man who gave up after his ex spread rumors throughout their community and alienated the kids against him. He was suicidal for some time and eventually moved across the country to get away from the situation and did maintain a long-distance relationship with his kids, but he falls into the category of an abandoner. I'm not defending this person, just sharing their motives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

Wow. You’re so gross. You sound like you’re dating someone barely legal and bragging about manipulating her and your kids? Yikes. Are you also like Nick where you’ve cheated on your wife the entire relationship? And going to start a new family and abandon your old one?

Weird flex to think your life is like that trainwreck. Who dies and leaves everyone better off 😂

We have a friend who dated an older, much richer man, who eventually became his second wife. At first, she was impressed and willing to "mold" herself to him, but that didn't last long. No one living in 2025 will give up all autonomy and be controlled by their partner. Eventually her career took off and she started demanding respect in their marriage - and you know what - she got it. She's gorgeous, has a very interesting and successful career now, and is the mother of his new little kids. I'm not sure this will happen for you, but I can say that I saw a million red flags when she was dating an older, stubborn, controlling guy with kids (like, I told her she was insane), but she took the bull by the horns and fought to make it a workable marriage as she matured.

Good for her! I have a feeling alot of these men (like pp) do not even respect women enough to have any respect for their wife/gf. They’d rather dump them and adopt a new pliable puppy they can train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know one man who gave up after his ex spread rumors throughout their community and alienated the kids against him. He was suicidal for some time and eventually moved across the country to get away from the situation and did maintain a long-distance relationship with his kids, but he falls into the category of an abandoner. I'm not defending this person, just sharing their motives.

“I loved across the country from my kids, I’m such a good dad!” 🤢

Motives don’t matter. Actions matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will get slammed, but most of these marriages are dead and transactional by that point anyway. It’s rarely a shock to anyone, and in retrospect, often a blessing.

Marriage shouldn’t stop a father from being a father. If his marriage dissolves he’s no longer a husband, but he’s still a father. That isn’t an excuse for dead beats.

Some moms want to cover up their affair and play happy family with the ap. Dad’s role is only money and she refuses contact and alienates the kids. It goes both ways.

Nope. You can’t alienate the kids if you’re an involved caring parent to begin with. Stop making excuses for lazy men who refuse to parent.

Yes you can. You refuse phone calls and don’t have the kids there for dad’s time. Go to court, judge fusses at mom, mom makes promises and still refuses. Repeat. Kids want to please so they want to please mom or there are consequences.

That’s not how it works. If the guy is a good dad, the kids will want to call him and talk to him. They will want to see him and spend time with him. They will not take kindly to mom telling them no. Maybe you or your kids were exceptionally doormat-ish, but that’s not how most kids are. You can’t alienate someone else who the kids cherish and idolize.

Just sounds like you weren’t a very good dad to begin with if the switch flips that easily 🤷‍♀️

I am a woman who has a male friend who is currently dealing with this - his wife, who will eventually be his ex-wife but I hesitate to say STBX because I think it's going to take a long time - is abusing the system and alienating their daughter from him. He was the primary caregiver for their daughter most of her life (they both work but his job is more flexible) and dad and daughter are so close. All of our friends' kids, including mine, greatly prefer the dad to the mom, but the mom is lobbing insane allegations against the dad and is refusing to let him contact their daughter (she has moved with her to their vacation house). She has filed PPOs, which have been dismissed, pressed charges, filed a complaint with CPS, and is suing for full custody. He's knocking down the things one by one but they each take time and in the meantime he hasn't been able to see or talk to his daughter. I have no doubt the mom is doing her best to poison the girl against her dad and it's just crazy. So while I certainly hope that she won't be successful in her ultimate goal of completely alienating the daughter from her dad, but she's done a damn good job at keeping them apart for the last six weeks and who knows how much longer. I don't know how old you think these kids are, but when they can't drive and the parents control their devices, and therefore their communications, you absolutely can keep kids from a parent they long to see. Hopefully not forever, but I think you'd do some good to back off a bit and realize that you don't understand every situation and your stupid emojis and absolute statements aren't appropriate.

Do you think the daughter has forgotten her dad in the past 6 weeks? No, she has not.

You can stop visits and control communications yes. You cannot alienate them if the bond is already there. You are welcome to scroll past my posts if you like, but take your misogynistic garbage outta here blaming all women for their sh!tty partners being sh!tty dads who abandon their kids.

Yes you can sever the bond. Kids want to please mom so they will refuse contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know one man who gave up after his ex spread rumors throughout their community and alienated the kids against him. He was suicidal for some time and eventually moved across the country to get away from the situation and did maintain a long-distance relationship with his kids, but he falls into the category of an abandoner. I'm not defending this person, just sharing their motives.

He had serious mental health issues. This is not the typical dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will get slammed, but most of these marriages are dead and transactional by that point anyway. It’s rarely a shock to anyone, and in retrospect, often a blessing.

Marriage shouldn’t stop a father from being a father. If his marriage dissolves he’s no longer a husband, but he’s still a father. That isn’t an excuse for dead beats.

Some moms want to cover up their affair and play happy family with the ap. Dad’s role is only money and she refuses contact and alienates the kids. It goes both ways.

Nope. You can’t alienate the kids if you’re an involved caring parent to begin with. Stop making excuses for lazy men who refuse to parent.

Yes you can. You refuse phone calls and don’t have the kids there for dad’s time. Go to court, judge fusses at mom, mom makes promises and still refuses. Repeat. Kids want to please so they want to please mom or there are consequences.

That’s not how it works. If the guy is a good dad, the kids will want to call him and talk to him. They will want to see him and spend time with him. They will not take kindly to mom telling them no. Maybe you or your kids were exceptionally doormat-ish, but that’s not how most kids are. You can’t alienate someone else who the kids cherish and idolize.

Just sounds like you weren’t a very good dad to begin with if the switch flips that easily 🤷‍♀️

It’s clear you have not met an expert BPD woman. It’s definitely possible to manipulate kids and it’s definitely possible to make someone’s life so difficult they opt out. False accusations of abuse or threats of doing that are one very effective tactic. Or just not giving dad his custody time, not allowing phone calls. yes a man in this scenario should keep trying but it happens.

Again. It doesn’t matter what any person does if they were a great parent to begin with. You can’t erase all the happy memories and joy felt. Unless it wasn’t there to begin with.

If you were a great parent who wanted to be a parent (key), you wouldn’t “opt out” of your children’s lives for anything. Sorry, but you’re just making your situation sound more and more awful. If you have “opted out” of your children’s lives because you hate your ex, you are a terrible man and a horrific father.

You can erase the other parent and do a new narrative if the kids are young enough. It happens all the time. And, not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will get slammed, but most of these marriages are dead and transactional by that point anyway. It’s rarely a shock to anyone, and in retrospect, often a blessing.

Marriage shouldn’t stop a father from being a father. If his marriage dissolves he’s no longer a husband, but he’s still a father. That isn’t an excuse for dead beats.

I don’t agree with the idea that somehow kids will always want have a connection with father. It’s completely unrealistic and ignores reality. Sure it’s true for some but not all situations. Mothers or fathers ( less likely) can turn the kids against the other parent

Some moms want to cover up their affair and play happy family with the ap. Dad’s role is only money and she refuses contact and alienates the kids. It goes both ways.

Nope. You can’t alienate the kids if you’re an involved caring parent to begin with. Stop making excuses for lazy men who refuse to parent.

A determined angry woman can absolutely alienate the kids. Stop making excuses for spiteful women.

They literally can’t though. If a dad is kind, caring, involved and the kids know that they would never believe any lies told. The only thing that kids know is if you show up and are there. If your ex is some all powerful wizard then sure, maybe I’d believe that she is magically strong enough to alienate your children. Otherwise? You’re just lazy and selfish. You care more about yourself and your ego than your kids. Those people? That’s not alienation, that’s just the common sense outcome of not caring about your kids.

[Anonymous]

I’m PP with the sister who has been alienated despite her being there. People who responded she just needs to demand respect - it’s really not as easy or black and white as you want to believe. When she defends herself or calls him out, he angrily attacks. The kids have asked her not to respond so he won’t yell because it scares them. Despite seeing this, the kids have been so poisoned by him that they are on his side. They wont participate in conversations with her at dinner or include her in theirs when he is present. They constantly look for his approval if they do say something to her. He plans family activities and short vacations and she is not included (he will buy tickets for all but her). The kids refuse overtures by her to spend time with them if he is home. They feed him information on her phone calls and her activities. He involves them in marital issues in entirely inappropriate ways and she refuses to disparage him to them because she does not want them in the middle. It’s not as easy as saying “she should demand respect” or “kids won’t be alienated from a good parent.” Divorce is the obvious answer, and hopefully that happens eventually. I wish he would be a walk-away dad.