Men who date younger but unable to perform

[Anonymous]

I was told by a guy and I think it’s true that it’s easier if they are used to you. A new person isn’t used to you and unbelievably to women there may be performance anxiety. Women (especially at that age) don’t have this and it’s hard for us to understand why there is fear of performing. I always think, what’s the issue with performing? At this age we should all feel very comfortable with sex and know what we want. Seems pretty clear and simple to me. Husband is 60 and still no issues. Must be that he’s used to me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was told by a guy and I think it’s true that it’s easier if they are used to you. A new person isn’t used to you and unbelievably to women there may be performance anxiety. Women (especially at that age) don’t have this and it’s hard for us to understand why there is fear of performing. I always think, what’s the issue with performing? At this age we should all feel very comfortable with sex and know what we want. Seems pretty clear and simple to me. Husband is 60 and still no issues. Must be that he’s used to me?

If he can't perform, he's history. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forgot to add, all three didn't know how to properly use condoms, which brand is the best (were buying the CVS cheap stuff which was further complicating things for them), refused to use a warming gel in foreplay before condom to make it work. That also raised sex safety issues for me as I don't sleep without protection when dating.

I would rather not have sex than wear a condom. You can’t feel a thing wearing one.

Ew take your diseases elsewhere you nasty perv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't want a connection or really any relationship, and you aren't patient, really. You aren't exclusive and don't expect your dates to be. This isn't dating, you want an escort for sex. You want just sex, and apparently a lot of it. Just buy it. I really don't get what the problem is here.

Going forward...come back here in about 10 or 13 years. Story will be reversed.

How can I commit to one man if he’s not making me entirely happy and satisfied ? I do want a fulfilling relationship which includes the physical part.
In 10-13 years I won’t be dating plain simple

I think you will be dating, because the relationship part really isn't a priority for you. No judgment here, you are just wanting sex. If I were dating for a relationship, and a guy said he wants more of a connection, that's a green flag for me, not red. If he's trying to move quickly, I that's red. This is of course because I would be looking long term. And yeah, most men need a pill or something. Everyone knows this. You will too in 10 years.

Do you read? They say they can't take the pill because of a medical condition

Move on. Don't get more connected. It will hurt him more when you move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't want a connection or really any relationship, and you aren't patient, really. You aren't exclusive and don't expect your dates to be. This isn't dating, you want an escort for sex. You want just sex, and apparently a lot of it. Just buy it. I really don't get what the problem is here.

Going forward...come back here in about 10 or 13 years. Story will be reversed.

How can I commit to one man if he’s not making me entirely happy and satisfied ? I do want a fulfilling relationship which includes the physical part.
In 10-13 years I won’t be dating plain simple

I think you will be dating, because the relationship part really isn't a priority for you. No judgment here, you are just wanting sex. If I were dating for a relationship, and a guy said he wants more of a connection, that's a green flag for me, not red. If he's trying to move quickly, I that's red. This is of course because I would be looking long term. And yeah, most men need a pill or something. Everyone knows this. You will too in 10 years.

I don't think you're being fair to OP. She's emotionally close to one guy and maybe two. She's in real relationships. She's not JUST having sex. She's also not ready to settle for either one of them exclusively. She's saying she might find a man she's ready to be with exclusively at some point.

Here's the thing that some women in their late 40s or 50s sometimes say. They have trouble finding a man who they connect with mentally, physically, and emotionally AND who doesn't have big problems (like job or financial or alcohol issues). But that's not the whole story sometimes. When they do find a guy who checks all the boxes, he's so popular that it's hard to be sure he'll be there for the long haul. Attractive , smart, financially secure women in their late 40s and 50s have lots of options but they still can feel a little insecure about the long term.

OP here - the issue of my non-exclusivity with the men is off-topic but I agree with the above, it describes the situation. But it's true for women at any age, including 20-30. I think it is only fair for women to take time before becoming exclusive with any man when she's 100% sure the relationship is satisfying. Men do the same.

[Anonymous]

Coax what you need out of him by touching him slowly and patiently in ways he likes.

Sex is mental. He has to do the mental work. Imo/or preference, it's on him to get himself, mentally, aroused.

[Anonymous]

Heart condition is no excuse to not take Viagra. If you need it and don't take it, you aren't being fair to a partner who expects good sex.

I have a heart condition and no, I'm not suggesting everyone is the same but I'm pretty sure that a cardiologist is going to clear most patients to take the boner pills.

Mine certainly did and I gladly take them. I would never subject a woman to the trials of not being able to perform when needed and wouldn't blame her if she rejected me after the first try was a no-go. You deserve better than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mid 40s woman, just sharing my frustration here.Recently tried to make things work with three (!!!) mid 50s to early 60s men. Not ONE was able to perform in bed. Early ejaculation (like, in 2 min in), or the opposite not able to hold it up and cant take viagra because of heart conditions. All three tried to delay sex until they are "mentally ready" and "emotionally connected" to me. I had to tell that I prefer to have sex on date 5-6 as I do need sex and have physical needs that I expect my match to meet.

Why date a 10+ years younger woman if you can't perform? Date your age - a late 50s woman. So frustrating!

They "tried" to say no, but you had to "insist" is a really creepy sentiment.

Great, I'll only date men who say yes and often. Sounds like the way to go.

Not pressuring people into sex is, indeed, the "way to go." You sound like a rapist.

I thought when men put on their profile they look to date, they are looking for sex among other things? If there is a medical problem that prevents you from taking V pill shouldn't you disclose it early on, and not a few months after "dating", when the woman is attached is gets hard to break things off?

Man here and PP above. I totally agree with this. Sex is an expectation of any relationship. Doesn't matter if it's first date or after 6 months of dating. Whatever the couple decides but it is an end goal. If he's not able, he should not be in the game or needs to search for someone who only wants a non-sexual relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If everyone would just lose some weight this would all work out!

Unfortunately, that's not true. Some men are terrible lovers.

Those women they are with are terrible teachers then.

Think that if it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mid 40s woman, just sharing my frustration here.Recently tried to make things work with three (!!!) mid 50s to early 60s men. Not ONE was able to perform in bed. Early ejaculation (like, in 2 min in), or the opposite not able to hold it up and cant take viagra because of heart conditions. All three tried to delay sex until they are "mentally ready" and "emotionally connected" to me. I had to tell that I prefer to have sex on date 5-6 as I do need sex and have physical needs that I expect my match to meet.

Why date a 10+ years younger woman if you can't perform? Date your age - a late 50s woman. So frustrating!

They "tried" to say no, but you had to "insist" is a really creepy sentiment.

Great, I'll only date men who say yes and often. Sounds like the way to go.

Not pressuring people into sex is, indeed, the "way to go." You sound like a rapist.

I thought when men put on their profile they look to date, they are looking for sex among other things? If there is a medical problem that prevents you from taking V pill shouldn't you disclose it early on, and not a few months after "dating", when the woman is attached is gets hard to break things off?

Man here and PP above. I totally agree with this. Sex is an expectation of any relationship. Doesn't matter if it's first date or after 6 months of dating. Whatever the couple decides but it is an end goal. If he's not able, he should not be in the game or needs to search for someone who only wants a non-sexual relationship.

Thank you - finally, someone understands where I'm coming from. I feel like I was totally led on and was used for social and emotional companionship reasons. I think we'll break up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mid 40s woman, just sharing my frustration here.Recently tried to make things work with three (!!!) mid 50s to early 60s men. Not ONE was able to perform in bed. Early ejaculation (like, in 2 min in), or the opposite not able to hold it up and cant take viagra because of heart conditions. All three tried to delay sex until they are "mentally ready" and "emotionally connected" to me. I had to tell that I prefer to have sex on date 5-6 as I do need sex and have physical needs that I expect my match to meet.

Why date a 10+ years younger woman if you can't perform? Date your age - a late 50s woman. So frustrating!

They "tried" to say no, but you had to "insist" is a really creepy sentiment.

Great, I'll only date men who say yes and often. Sounds like the way to go.

Not pressuring people into sex is, indeed, the "way to go." You sound like a rapist.

I thought when men put on their profile they look to date, they are looking for sex among other things? If there is a medical problem that prevents you from taking V pill shouldn't you disclose it early on, and not a few months after "dating", when the woman is attached is gets hard to break things off?

Man here and PP above. I totally agree with this. Sex is an expectation of any relationship. Doesn't matter if it's first date or after 6 months of dating. Whatever the couple decides but it is an end goal. If he's not able, he should not be in the game or needs to search for someone who only wants a non-sexual relationship.

Thank you - finally, someone understands where I'm coming from. I feel like I was totally led on and was used for social and emotional companionship reasons. I think we'll break up

You needed nine pages to figure that out?

You’re the slow one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mid 40s woman, just sharing my frustration here.Recently tried to make things work with three (!!!) mid 50s to early 60s men. Not ONE was able to perform in bed. Early ejaculation (like, in 2 min in), or the opposite not able to hold it up and cant take viagra because of heart conditions. All three tried to delay sex until they are "mentally ready" and "emotionally connected" to me. I had to tell that I prefer to have sex on date 5-6 as I do need sex and have physical needs that I expect my match to meet.

Why date a 10+ years younger woman if you can't perform? Date your age - a late 50s woman. So frustrating!

They "tried" to say no, but you had to "insist" is a really creepy sentiment.

Great, I'll only date men who say yes and often. Sounds like the way to go.

Not pressuring people into sex is, indeed, the "way to go." You sound like a rapist.

I thought when men put on their profile they look to date, they are looking for sex among other things? If there is a medical problem that prevents you from taking V pill shouldn't you disclose it early on, and not a few months after "dating", when the woman is attached is gets hard to break things off?

Man here and PP above. I totally agree with this. Sex is an expectation of any relationship. Doesn't matter if it's first date or after 6 months of dating. Whatever the couple decides but it is an end goal. If he's not able, he should not be in the game or needs to search for someone who only wants a non-sexual relationship.

Thank you - finally, someone understands where I'm coming from. I feel like I was totally led on and was used for social and emotional companionship reasons. I think we'll break up

Yeah, but you want to sleep with them immediately, and not just one guy, either. And you are put off by someone who wants a connection (?) now, but you are looking for a long term relationship. Not adding up, really. Secondly, if you are stunned by all this non- performance, and still claim that in 10- 15 years you won't be dating because you assume you will be in a relationship with potentially one of these guys, what you you think THAT will look like? You'll be in your 50s and this guy will be pushing 80. I mean does any of this make sense?
You don't want anyone your age because they have kids and you no longer do as they are launched, so you are picking men who have been there, done that, have $$ presumably, but can't really do this. It's about this, it seems, to you.
You need a Mr.Goodbar experience for about 10 years, then hook up with an age appropriate life partner when his kids are grown. He can take his viagra, and you can slap on the estrogen patch and cream at the same time. It'll be fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't want a connection or really any relationship, and you aren't patient, really. You aren't exclusive and don't expect your dates to be. This isn't dating, you want an escort for sex. You want just sex, and apparently a lot of it. Just buy it. I really don't get what the problem is here.

Going forward...come back here in about 10 or 13 years. Story will be reversed.

How can I commit to one man if he’s not making me entirely happy and satisfied ? I do want a fulfilling relationship which includes the physical part.
In 10-13 years I won’t be dating plain simple

I think you will be dating, because the relationship part really isn't a priority for you. No judgment here, you are just wanting sex. If I were dating for a relationship, and a guy said he wants more of a connection, that's a green flag for me, not red. If he's trying to move quickly, I that's red. This is of course because I would be looking long term. And yeah, most men need a pill or something. Everyone knows this. You will too in 10 years.

I don't think you're being fair to OP. She's emotionally close to one guy and maybe two. She's in real relationships. She's not JUST having sex. She's also not ready to settle for either one of them exclusively. She's saying she might find a man she's ready to be with exclusively at some point.

Here's the thing that some women in their late 40s or 50s sometimes say. They have trouble finding a man who they connect with mentally, physically, and emotionally AND who doesn't have big problems (like job or financial or alcohol issues). But that's not the whole story sometimes. When they do find a guy who checks all the boxes, he's so popular that it's hard to be sure he'll be there for the long haul. Attractive , smart, financially secure women in their late 40s and 50s have lots of options but they still can feel a little insecure about the long term.

Three guys and she's having real relationships with all? Yeah, nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mid 40s woman, just sharing my frustration here.Recently tried to make things work with three (!!!) mid 50s to early 60s men. Not ONE was able to perform in bed. Early ejaculation (like, in 2 min in), or the opposite not able to hold it up and cant take viagra because of heart conditions. All three tried to delay sex until they are "mentally ready" and "emotionally connected" to me. I had to tell that I prefer to have sex on date 5-6 as I do need sex and have physical needs that I expect my match to meet.

Why date a 10+ years younger woman if you can't perform? Date your age - a late 50s woman. So frustrating!

They "tried" to say no, but you had to "insist" is a really creepy sentiment.

Great, I'll only date men who say yes and often. Sounds like the way to go.

Not pressuring people into sex is, indeed, the "way to go." You sound like a rapist.

I thought when men put on their profile they look to date, they are looking for sex among other things? If there is a medical problem that prevents you from taking V pill shouldn't you disclose it early on, and not a few months after "dating", when the woman is attached is gets hard to break things off?

Man here and PP above. I totally agree with this. Sex is an expectation of any relationship. Doesn't matter if it's first date or after 6 months of dating. Whatever the couple decides but it is an end goal. If he's not able, he should not be in the game or needs to search for someone who only wants a non-sexual relationship.

Thank you - finally, someone understands where I'm coming from. I feel like I was totally led on and was used for social and emotional companionship reasons. I think we'll break up

I agree with you. You are not a match. Move on. This will never be solved. The guy is unable and unwilling to participate but he wants everything else out of a relationship and just expects you to understand and be OK with that? I would not. -Older man with heart issues, a stent and the usual medications who enjoys a great sex life with the help of a little yellow pill, Cialis. Same is Viagra, just an everyday time release formulation. It really is a wonder drug. I'm glad I live in these times and not before those drugs were invented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Coax what you need out of him by touching him slowly and patiently in ways he likes.

Sex is mental. He has to do the mental work. Imo/or preference, it's on him to get himself, mentally, aroused.

Most women want their men to figure out their bodies. They like men who "know what they're doing." Some men are the same way. They are very sexual but only if the woman "knows what she's doing." But I guess plenty of women expect the man to figure out both of their bodies and perform as needed, and they think the woman's job is to get undressed, lie on the bed, and enjoy the ride.