Son dating girl whose parents don’t allow her to date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really simple. Teach your son to interact with this girl within the parameters her parents have set. It’s fine if he doesn’t like her enough to do that - this has happened for eternity.

Please do not talk to her parents, and do not encourage your son to encourage her to lie to her own parents. Her family has rules - teach him to respect those rules.

I think the girl’s parent’s parameters are simple: OP’s son should not exist in their daughter’s life whatsoever (especially since he’s a white boy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is a freshman. He has a big school dance coming up and asked a sweet girl, who happens to be Indian and has strict parents. Her parents apparently don’t know she is going to the dance or that she is “dating” DS. Dating for them so far means meeting for ice cream after school and FaceTiming late at night.

Do I do anything?? I don’t like that she’s lying to her parents. He says she’s frustrated and doesn’t care. I will be meeting her in person tomorrow and plan to offer to meet her parents with DS. What else should I do?

Her parents will put a stop to this soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Make sure he doesn't sleep with her if he's older. Those types of parents are always the first ones to cry rape once they find out their DD has been dating and sexually active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he doesn't sleep with her if he's older. Those types of parents are always the first ones to cry rape once they find out their DD has been dating and sexually active.

Her parents likely would not sue the son. THey would take it out on the daughter

[Anonymous]

To all the other Desi Girls on here:

Take a look at th beach week thread. I feel like all parents are turning into 90's desi parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really simple. Teach your son to interact with this girl within the parameters her parents have set. It’s fine if he doesn’t like her enough to do that - this has happened for eternity.

Please do not talk to her parents, and do not encourage your son to encourage her to lie to her own parents. Her family has rules - teach him to respect those rules.

I think the girl’s parent’s parameters are simple: OP’s son should not exist in their daughter’s life whatsoever (especially since he’s a white boy).

I thought that the girl's parents don't even have any idea that OP and her WHITE BOY exists?

So why are you projecting? Also, frankly, it has nothing to do with race and culture. The parents of the girl are not permissive and have strict rules. It happens across culture, race and SES.

I bet that the girl's parents will not allow her to be with an Indian boy with 4.0 GPA either at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the other Desi Girls on here:

Take a look at th beach week thread. I feel like all parents are turning into 90's desi parents!

To the ABCD girls in the age group late 30s - early 50s. Your self hatred and identity confusion has not carried over to younger generation because they have more education, more money, more connections, more credentials and more self-confidence then you or your parents would ever have.

Your upbringing was bipolar. You lived in two different worlds and your parents were also a product of the exposure they got in the India of yesteryears.

[Anonymous]

The White Boy leaving the Indian girl to drown in some boozy caribbean vacation did not help? No?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the other Desi Girls on here:

Take a look at th beach week thread. I feel like all parents are turning into 90's desi parents!

To the ABCD girls in the age group late 30s - early 50s. Your self hatred and identity confusion has not carried over to younger generation because they have more education, more money, more connections, more credentials and more self-confidence then you or your parents would ever have.

Your upbringing was bipolar. You lived in two different worlds and your parents were also a product of the exposure they got in the India of yesteryears.

That's because we are raising them differently than our parents raised us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The White Boy leaving the Indian girl to drown in some boozy caribbean vacation did not help? No?

yes yes, the OPs son is just another white devil, sure. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not appreciate it if some white woman wanted me discuss my daughter's social life. I don't know you, i don't give F what you have to say. I don't know why you think this is okay.

It;s threads like these that let you know this forum is mostly white women cool moms. They assume their way is correct. They assume it's their place to educate and correct. If they just talk.They lie to themselves saying they aren't enabling bad and disrespectful behavior in their children and then try to gaslight you.

The very early dating and overall permissiveness when it comes to sex and relationships for teenagers is a very White and western cultural norm. Especially for the girls. That’s not to say that teens of other races aren’t dating but it isn’t as highly encouraged and has some tighter controls.

[Anonymous]

This really isn’t considered dating. The girl is not breaking any rules as of now. Surely her parents are aware that there are boys at school & other functions, and that she may talk to them. 🤣

Now if she asks her parents to hang out at your house with just your DS, go to a movie with just your DS etc….they probably won’t allow it. Which is fine.

I wouldn’t give any of this a second thought. You seem to be taking things a bit seriously (far more than this situation warrants) IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not appreciate it if some white woman wanted me discuss my daughter's social life. I don't know you, i don't give F what you have to say. I don't know why you think this is okay.

It;s threads like these that let you know this forum is mostly white women cool moms. They assume their way is correct. They assume it's their place to educate and correct. If they just talk.They lie to themselves saying they aren't enabling bad and disrespectful behavior in their children and then try to gaslight you.

The very early dating and overall permissiveness when it comes to sex and relationships for teenagers is a very White and western cultural norm. Especially for the girls. That’s not to say that teens of other races aren’t dating but it isn’t as highly encouraged and has some tighter controls.

And to be clear I’m not trying to say one way is better than the other. I’m just saying that it’s something to take into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, I don't like the lying either.

This is hard.

I'd worry about repercussions from the other family if DS takes her out without their knowledge.

What repercussions? I don’t think Indians are known for violence. A cease and desist letter? Maybe lol

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is hilarious. Data show that teens of all races are not having sex. They don't need overbearing parents to prevent them--it's not 1985 anymore. I wouldn't worry--your son won't do anything, and she won't either. You should be rooting for something to happen so we all don't extinct.