
Oh you again. You accept a lot as normal which the rest of us don’t. Like a husband who mocks you for being fat or not caring for his own baby. Not surprised for your “advice” here. |
I’m not sure who you’re talking about but that’s not me. I’m the one saying OP should be honest with her husband about what’s going on with her and have an adult conversation about what’s the best thing to do is (but I think breastfeeding isn’t worth the strain on the marriage). |
I know this board trends older meaning a lot of posters are from a generation where women were just expected to put up with it. It seems op and her husband are younger and based on what op has shared have a more egalitarian relationship that's not centered on sex or a man's supposed needs. Her husband by ops description has been respectful and understanding while expressing his desires which is how it should be and it's sad to me that so many don't have this experience and worse that they are teaching others that this shouldn't be the norm.
Op doesn't sound like she doesn't care to me it sounds like she is struggling. It's radical but my husband and I have always agreed that sex should be fun for both of us and if it's not fun , if both of us aren't participating enthusiastically we figure out why together without blaming, shaming or guilt. .maybe that approach would be helpful for op and her husband no blame just figuring out together what would make sex desired for both of you again.. wishing you luck, op. And ignore those wishing he will cheat on you they are speaking about their own pain. |
This is ridiculous. The baby is 5 months old. There is definitely a time to prioritize the husband’s needs over the child’s needs….but a 5 month old baby’s feeding & nutrition (so the DH can get more sex) is definitely not one of those times. And I am not a militant breastfeeding type either (quit early with all three of mine…it just didn’t go well for either babies or me). But if breastfeeding is going well, of course it should be prioritized. It is a baby. If the kid was closer to a year old or something, I would tend to agree with you. |
Yeah, I’m sure there a lot mothers of 6 posting on here. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/1273509.page |
+2000 |
I’m not the one you’re responding to in this thread… but that’s a different poster than the one you’re accusing. Ask Jeff if you must. ![]() |
I definitely don't agree women should have sex when they don't want to. But, OP didn't want sex with him before kids, it's been at least 15 months since they've had sex, and her H is requesting SOMETHING. This isn't a guy pushing for 5 times a week and 6 weeks postpartum. This is a guy who hasn't had any sex in over a year asking for a freaking HJ once in awhile. OP needs to figure out why she doesn't want sex at all, even before kids, because that's not normal. And if that's just who she is, she needs to let her H get it elsewhere. Imagine if a woman asked for the smallest form of emotional support after over a year of getting none and her H responded "sorry, kids are the priority right now, maybe in a few years I can". |
People think cheating is just “my wife won’t sleep with me so I got on Tinder.” It’s not usually like that. A lot of people who cheat aren’t trying to. They’ve just accepted that sex isn’t happening in their relationship anymore. They’re not happy about it, but they’re not trying to blow up their life either. Then someone shows up. Could be a coworker, someone from their kid’s school, a neighbor. And it’s not like this big, dramatic affair. It starts small, normal conversations, a joke, maybe a compliment. Over time, there’s a shift and they start sending out small signals of interest. Flirting, texting all day, getting into sexting. And suddenly, that part of them they thought was gone, the part that wants to feel wanted, starts coming back. Eventually it gets hard to ignore. And yeah, sometimes they cross the line. Not because they’re bad, not because they planned it, but because they felt invisible in their own relationship, and someone finally saw them. |
Where did you get the idea op didn't have sex before kids? From the op: ]Full disclosure we were never super active even before our oldest was born 4 years ago. At our peak it was 3 to 4 times a week |
Why do you hope her husband cheats on her?. |
Imagine if a man said that the thought of sleeping with his postpartum wife grossed him out, and that he hated giving oral. |
OP said it was never super active, and even before kids she hated giving BJs. Sounds like OP is likely low drive or asexual, which is fine, but she can't expect her husband to dislike sex as well. |
More facts. |
Nobody hopes her husband cheats on her. But if he goes years without sex, it's going to happen eventually. |