Struggling with being intimate with my husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this how most marriages are? We don’t even have kids and I’m generally happily married but I’m just not interested in sex. I am too tired and stressed out.

No. Not how our marriage is at all.
Our marriage is an all priority, and sex/intimacy is a priority within our marriage. How can you be too tired for intimacy?

Because I work full time in a demanding job and do about 90% of the house ‘maintenance’ too - not just cleaning; but paying bills, scheduling people to come clean or fix things, etc.

That is exactly my point. You aren’t prioritizing sex. I work a full time demanding job. So does my husband. We make time or push off other things in order to stay sexually connected.

If you don’t want that type of sexual connection; that is ok. But the only reason you are not having it is that you are not making time for it.

Or maybe her lazy a$$ dh could do more so she isn’t so exhausted and would be a le to “make time”. God it’s so f***ing annoying to see women blamed for everything on here.

They aren’t being blamed for everything here. Just a sexless marriage. I mean… it’s not the mailman’s fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is sinful and cruel not to have sex with your spouse without a valid reason (ex: medical issue)

!!!
You can’t be serious. It’s her body and she just had a baby!!
He needs to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is sinful and cruel not to have sex with your spouse without a valid reason (ex: medical issue)

!!!
You can’t be serious. It’s her body and she just had a baby!!
He needs to grow up.

NP.

By “he needs to grow up,” you meant he simply has to accept a sexless marriage for the rest of his life?

Seriously PP ??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this how most marriages are? We don’t even have kids and I’m generally happily married but I’m just not interested in sex. I am too tired and stressed out.

No. Not how our marriage is at all.
Our marriage is an all priority, and sex/intimacy is a priority within our marriage. How can you be too tired for intimacy?

Because I work full time in a demanding job and do about 90% of the house ‘maintenance’ too - not just cleaning; but paying bills, scheduling people to come clean or fix things, etc.

That is exactly my point. You aren’t prioritizing sex. I work a full time demanding job. So does my husband. We make time or push off other things in order to stay sexually connected.

If you don’t want that type of sexual connection; that is ok. But the only reason you are not having it is that you are not making time for it.

Or maybe her lazy a$$ dh could do more so she isn’t so exhausted and would be a le to “make time”. God it’s so f***ing annoying to see women blamed for everything on here.

What precisely is her dh not doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op’s sexless marriage is primarily her fault because of her psychological issues however her husband is not helping the situation by being so understanding. One of the ways women stop being attracted to their husbands is when husbands are too nice. Op’s husband need to be more assertive and stop being so considerate. He simply needs to TELL her he will be pounding her tonight and let her know the frequency he expects (once or twice a week or whatever works for them). don’t ask just tell her. End of discussion. Her libido will be back; they will be rocking and rolling in no time!

Or how about we don’t encourage men to rape women?

Nobody’s talking about rape, you histrionic buffoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this how most marriages are? We don’t even have kids and I’m generally happily married but I’m just not interested in sex. I am too tired and stressed out.

No. Not how our marriage is at all.
Our marriage is an all priority, and sex/intimacy is a priority within our marriage. How can you be too tired for intimacy?

Because I work full time in a demanding job and do about 90% of the house ‘maintenance’ too - not just cleaning; but paying bills, scheduling people to come clean or fix things, etc.

That is exactly my point. You aren’t prioritizing sex. I work a full time demanding job. So does my husband. We make time or push off other things in order to stay sexually connected.

If you don’t want that type of sexual connection; that is ok. But the only reason you are not having it is that you are not making time for it.

Or maybe her lazy a$$ dh could do more so she isn’t so exhausted and would be a le to “make time”. God it’s so f***ing annoying to see women blamed for everything on here.

What precisely is her dh not doing?

According to OP’s own account, he’s a great dad, great husband, and he patiently complied with (her decision) of no sex at all for 18 months during her 2 pregnancies because she decided not to.

In her defense, OP conceded “I’m a mess” (I think meaning her psychological approach to no libido). Hence, she created this thread looking for useful suggestions or supports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this how most marriages are? We don’t even have kids and I’m generally happily married but I’m just not interested in sex. I am too tired and stressed out.

No. Not how our marriage is at all.
Our marriage is an all priority, and sex/intimacy is a priority within our marriage. How can you be too tired for intimacy?

Because I work full time in a demanding job and do about 90% of the house ‘maintenance’ too - not just cleaning; but paying bills, scheduling people to come clean or fix things, etc.

That is exactly my point. You aren’t prioritizing sex. I work a full time demanding job. So does my husband. We make time or push off other things in order to stay sexually connected.

If you don’t want that type of sexual connection; that is ok. But the only reason you are not having it is that you are not making time for it.

Or maybe her lazy a$$ dh could do more so she isn’t so exhausted and would be a le to “make time”. God it’s so f***ing annoying to see women blamed for everything on here.

What precisely is her dh not doing?

According to OP’s own account, he’s a great dad, great husband, and he patiently complied with (her decision) of no sex at all for 18 months during her 2 pregnancies because she decided not to.

In her defense, OP conceded “I’m a mess” (I think meaning her psychological approach to no libido). Hence, she created this thread looking for useful suggestions or supports.

Oh, your mistake was reading the post. The immutable rules of dcum dictate that a wife's lack of desire is caused by her husband's failings. And, among other potential failings, the husband not working hard enough will always be at least one of the failings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op’s sexless marriage is primarily her fault because of her psychological issues however her husband is not helping the situation by being so understanding. One of the ways women stop being attracted to their husbands is when husbands are too nice. Op’s husband need to be more assertive and stop being so considerate. He simply needs to TELL her he will be pounding her tonight and let her know the frequency he expects (once or twice a week or whatever works for them). don’t ask just tell her. End of discussion. Her libido will be back; they will be rocking and rolling in no time!

Or how about we don’t encourage men to rape women?

Nobody’s talking about rape, you histrionic buffoon.

Yes, your language is very rapey and name calling now? Please find another outlet for your rage against women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this how most marriages are? We don’t even have kids and I’m generally happily married but I’m just not interested in sex. I am too tired and stressed out.

No. Not how our marriage is at all.
Our marriage is an all priority, and sex/intimacy is a priority within our marriage. How can you be too tired for intimacy?

Because I work full time in a demanding job and do about 90% of the house ‘maintenance’ too - not just cleaning; but paying bills, scheduling people to come clean or fix things, etc.

That is exactly my point. You aren’t prioritizing sex. I work a full time demanding job. So does my husband. We make time or push off other things in order to stay sexually connected.

If you don’t want that type of sexual connection; that is ok. But the only reason you are not having it is that you are not making time for it.

Or maybe her lazy a$$ dh could do more so she isn’t so exhausted and would be a le to “make time”. God it’s so f***ing annoying to see women blamed for everything on here.

What precisely is her dh not doing?

According to OP’s own account, he’s a great dad, great husband, and he patiently complied with (her decision) of no sex at all for 18 months during her 2 pregnancies because she decided not to.

In her defense, OP conceded “I’m a mess” (I think meaning her psychological approach to no libido). Hence, she created this thread looking for useful suggestions or supports.

Oh, your mistake was reading the post. The immutable rules of dcum dictate that a wife's lack of desire is caused by her husband's failings. And, among other potential failings, the husband not working hard enough will always be at least one of the failings.

Wrong. His conduct is controlling and borderline abusive. OP needs to explain to him that she'll have sex with him WHEN and IF she'd like. Not a second before. If he doesn't like it, he can leave. If he wants to be an adult, he'll stay and work on himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this how most marriages are? We don’t even have kids and I’m generally happily married but I’m just not interested in sex. I am too tired and stressed out.

No. Not how our marriage is at all.
Our marriage is an all priority, and sex/intimacy is a priority within our marriage. How can you be too tired for intimacy?

Because I work full time in a demanding job and do about 90% of the house ‘maintenance’ too - not just cleaning; but paying bills, scheduling people to come clean or fix things, etc.

That is exactly my point. You aren’t prioritizing sex. I work a full time demanding job. So does my husband. We make time or push off other things in order to stay sexually connected.

If you don’t want that type of sexual connection; that is ok. But the only reason you are not having it is that you are not making time for it.

Or maybe her lazy a$$ dh could do more so she isn’t so exhausted and would be a le to “make time”. God it’s so f***ing annoying to see women blamed for everything on here.

What precisely is her dh not doing?

According to OP’s own account, he’s a great dad, great husband, and he patiently complied with (her decision) of no sex at all for 18 months during her 2 pregnancies because she decided not to.

In her defense, OP conceded “I’m a mess” (I think meaning her psychological approach to no libido). Hence, she created this thread looking for useful suggestions or supports.

Oh, your mistake was reading the post. The immutable rules of dcum dictate that a wife's lack of desire is caused by her husband's failings. And, among other potential failings, the husband not working hard enough will always be at least one of the failings.

Wrong. His conduct is controlling and borderline abusive. OP needs to explain to him that she'll have sex with him WHEN and IF she'd like. Not a second before. If he doesn't like it, he can leave. If he wants to be an adult, he'll stay and work on himself.

You are a complete nutcase. There’s nothing controlling or abusive about op’s husband. If anything, he’s overly nice which is contributing to the problem. He needs to make his expectations clear and op’s libido will be back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op’s sexless marriage is primarily her fault because of her psychological issues however her husband is not helping the situation by being so understanding. One of the ways women stop being attracted to their husbands is when husbands are too nice. Op’s husband need to be more assertive and stop being so considerate. He simply needs to TELL her he will be pounding her tonight and let her know the frequency he expects (once or twice a week or whatever works for them). don’t ask just tell her. End of discussion. Her libido will be back; they will be rocking and rolling in no time!

Or how about we don’t encourage men to rape women?

Nobody’s talking about rape, you histrionic buffoon.

Yes, your language is very rapey and name calling now? Please find another outlet for your rage against women.

I was the one who posted about pounding the wife; there’s nothing rapey about it. It happens in all loving marriages with normal libidos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this how most marriages are? We don’t even have kids and I’m generally happily married but I’m just not interested in sex. I am too tired and stressed out.

No. Not how our marriage is at all.
Our marriage is an all priority, and sex/intimacy is a priority within our marriage. How can you be too tired for intimacy?

Because I work full time in a demanding job and do about 90% of the house ‘maintenance’ too - not just cleaning; but paying bills, scheduling people to come clean or fix things, etc.

That is exactly my point. You aren’t prioritizing sex. I work a full time demanding job. So does my husband. We make time or push off other things in order to stay sexually connected.

If you don’t want that type of sexual connection; that is ok. But the only reason you are not having it is that you are not making time for it.

Or maybe her lazy a$$ dh could do more so she isn’t so exhausted and would be a le to “make time”. God it’s so f***ing annoying to see women blamed for everything on here.

What precisely is her dh not doing?

He’s not being assertive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is sinful and cruel not to have sex with your spouse without a valid reason (ex: medical issue)

!!!
You can’t be serious. It’s her body and she just had a baby!!
He needs to grow up.

Op is the one who needs to grow up. Its been long enough she had a baby and should be able to have piv. Not doing so is cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op’s sexless marriage is primarily her fault because of her psychological issues however her husband is not helping the situation by being so understanding. One of the ways women stop being attracted to their husbands is when husbands are too nice. Op’s husband need to be more assertive and stop being so considerate. He simply needs to TELL her he will be pounding her tonight and let her know the frequency he expects (once or twice a week or whatever works for them). don’t ask just tell her. End of discussion. Her libido will be back; they will be rocking and rolling in no time!

Or how about we don’t encourage men to rape women?

Nobody’s talking about rape, you histrionic buffoon.

From above:
"He simply needs to TELL her he will be pounding her tonight "

Sounds kinda rapey to me
- a guy

[Anonymous]

Hey OP let him jerk off and use a turkey baster and when you conceive you get another 9 months without sex! Yay!