What is the parenting secret of Orthodox Jewish families?
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Anonymous
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My mother grew up in a large Mennonite family. She says that in her tradition:
1. Older siblings learn about parenting while raising their younger siblings. 2. Younger siblings learn about parenting while helping with their nieces and nephews. 3. In our smaller families, all the parenting happens while the two children are very young. When it’s their turn to parent, they’re learning everything due the first time. 4. I’m not sure if this applies to the Orthodox tradition, but Mennonites use a type of parenting that produces hyper-compliant children. You start training them much younger. Looking at my family, it creates adults who don’t have great boundaries. |
Anonymous
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I grew up Orthodox and this thread has so many insane and inaccurate takes that it made me laugh until I cried.
My favorite crazy post is the one about Orthodox Jewish women not reading books. |
Anonymous
| All of us with well behaved kids discipline our kids early and often. They know what's acceptable and what's not. And I don't hit them or demean them etc. I just take them out of the store when they are whining and leave parties early. They catch on by 5 and then complain about other misbehaving kids at their activities. |
Anonymous
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I’m from a Catholic family of 9, and we grew up before screens were everywhere (we did have in TV in the family room!). We certainly weren’t calm! I think my brothers were pretty notorious pranksters in the neighborhood and I was the most soazzmatAzz hyper motor mouth that anyone had ever met. (I guess my sisters were pretty calm.). So I don’t think big families, or no screens, is some magic solution.
My guess is that it’s a community with strong community norms and a fair amount of shame if you break those norms. So if you are the orthodox mom with the rambunctious kids, you are not taking them out to the zoo on Sunday and instead are home quietly crying into your pillow. And/or you guilt your kids into complying with community norms expectations. My parents were very strict bout a lot of things and we did all the chores and the parentification that people complain about etc etc … but I don’t think they every made any of feel bad for being the type of people that marched to the beat of their own drummer. I think they felt like the smarter the kid, the more headache they were likely to be. (Although again my sister who is a perfect angel and always was is also a super genius). I’m also a little amazed by the Catholic PP talking about a 90 minute mass. Every priest I’ve ever met (except one) seems to have an internal body clock that enables them to end the homily in time for mass to end between 59 and 63 minutes, or less if it’s there’s a football game. |
Anonymous
Utter BS Absurd DV is absolutely part of the community my family is from Monsey, NY. Getting a GET when your husband puts you in the hospital is frowned upon. I should know this was my mother’s life and my cousin and family friends. It’s a cult full on cult Education is horrendous for women. |
Anonymous
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Chabad is a cult
Hasidic are a cult Getting a divorce is not accepted Education is poor Welfare is rampant Drinking is common Porn is common Girls marry at 16-18 arranged |