Absolutely repulsed by intimacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

This is horrible. I would rather live alone than been with someone like this. Did you have any kids?

It absolutely isn't horrible to divorce someone who treats you badly. Perhaps this should serve as a warning to you.

I was saying horrible for his ex-wife to treat him like this. PP did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:shatavari

Kamasutra!

[Anonymous]

To be desired...
feels like being chosen and valued for who you are, creating a powerful sense of validation, confidence, and connection, often described as intoxicating, but it's also about recognizing your inherent worth beyond someone else's gaze, moving from need to love, and can manifest as warmth, butterflies, or a deep feeling of being seen and cherished. It's a fundamental human experience, a step beyond mere survival, where another's genuine enjoyment of your presence elevates your sense of self, providing a boost to self-esteem and a feeling of being truly alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

Sounds like a lot going on, including treatment for some level of mental disfunction (they don’t prescribe SSRIs for other reasons).

The nearly universal side effect of SSRIs is to reduce libido to near zero for most women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.

I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.

So you’re resigned to no sex? Wut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies go and talk to an OB GYN who has an expertise in sexual health. Not just somebody who will gaslight you. In the DC area Dr Rachel Rubin’s practice is phenomenal. I was like all of you, zero interest, 50 yrs old, after 4 months on HRT including testosterone gel I feel much better and am starting to feel desire come back. I’m not going to lie I’m not back to my 20 something self but those days are gone. To be open to having sex and interested much of the time has been a big change for me. Also, weekly therapy has helped address other issues in our marriage.

Nobody is gaslighting anybody. It is not abnormal for women in their 40s, getting past childbearing age, to not desire or be totally turned off by sex. There is nothing wrong with any of these women.

Now, the question is do they want to keep the status quo or not? If they don't, then yes there are medical interventions like you describe. But these interventions are to reverse/change what nature has intended. And there is nothing wrong with that either.

LOL If you frame that is a husband problem, i.e. husband is asked to be celibate against his will for the next 30+ years, watch how fast it becomes abnormal!

This isn't rocket science. It's normal for peoples' sexual preferences to change a lot over the course of a lifetime. It's normal for peoples' sexual preferences to not change a lot over the course of a lifetime. It's not a question of normality. The issue is whether and how you navigate sexual incompatibility when it arises.

By leaving! Peace out! Either fix the libido or hubby gonna go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.

I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.

Good insight and judgement. Most men think with just the pen*s and handle it wrong.

Not good insight. His wife has locked his pen*s up away in perpetuity and he can’t get any relief without cheating and you act like it’s a healthy scenario? Classic.

My man, get the fk out of there. Get on some dating sites. Find some strange. Take back your sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

Sounds like a lot going on, including treatment for some level of mental disfunction (they don’t prescribe SSRIs for other reasons).

The nearly universal side effect of SSRIs is to reduce libido to near zero for most women.

This is an old thread and not sure we need to be resurrecting it. But OMG this is a Peri and Meno forum and SSRIs are absolutely prescribed for the treatment of Peri symptoms (although hrt is probably the better treatment). Cough cough moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

Sounds like a lot going on, including treatment for some level of mental disfunction (they don’t prescribe SSRIs for other reasons).

The nearly universal side effect of SSRIs is to reduce libido to near zero for most women.

This is an old thread and not sure we need to be resurrecting it. But OMG this is a Peri and Meno forum and SSRIs are absolutely prescribed for the treatment of Peri symptoms (although hrt is probably the better treatment). Cough cough moron.

These days they ended up prescribing all of them including HRT, SSRIs, and other hormonal medications whether it is thyroid or BC. SSRIs do reduce the sex drive but I don't see it going down to zero. It happens when people are struggling with a personal disorder or really don't understand intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Wine and lube

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wine and lube

if wine works then who cares but some of them are too uptight to even try that or would not do it because DH would get some action. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

Sounds like a lot going on, including treatment for some level of mental disfunction (they don’t prescribe SSRIs for other reasons).

The nearly universal side effect of SSRIs is to reduce libido to near zero for most women.

This is an old thread and not sure we need to be resurrecting it. But OMG this is a Peri and Meno forum and SSRIs are absolutely prescribed for the treatment of Peri symptoms (although hrt is probably the better treatment). Cough cough moron.

It’s very common to experience a drop in libido, or even have your libido disappear entirely, in peri or in menopause (though a lucky few experience the opposite).

But SSRIs have the side effect of almost always killing off whatever libido is left in peri or menopause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

Sounds like a lot going on, including treatment for some level of mental disfunction (they don’t prescribe SSRIs for other reasons).

The nearly universal side effect of SSRIs is to reduce libido to near zero for most women.

This is an old thread and not sure we need to be resurrecting it. But OMG this is a Peri and Meno forum and SSRIs are absolutely prescribed for the treatment of Peri symptoms (although hrt is probably the better treatment). Cough cough moron.

It’s very common to experience a drop in libido, or even have your libido disappear entirely, in peri or in menopause (though a lucky few experience the opposite).

But SSRIs have the side effect of almost always killing off whatever libido is left in peri or menopause.

This is crazy! so, what like sex once every 2-3 months?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.

I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.

So you’re resigned to no sex? Wut?

Not "no sex." But, very little sex and quite a bit of masturbation, correct. However, as I said, she loves me and my family life is good. Not ideal, but my life overall is better than most, I'd say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.

I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.

So you’re resigned to no sex? Wut?

Not "no sex." But, very little sex and quite a bit of masturbation, correct. However, as I said, she loves me and my family life is good. Not ideal, but my life overall is better than most, I'd say.

how often you do it, PP? A lot of masturbartion when your drive is high is ok but could make you resentful.