Absolutely repulsed by intimacy

[Anonymous]

I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m too exhausted for sex. Always, always I just want to climb in bed and sleep. DH wants to resume that part of our lives together, but the thought of it makes me feel overwhelmed with exhaustion.

How old are you? You need to make efforts otherwise it doesn't look like there is anything left in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m too exhausted for sex. Always, always I just want to climb in bed and sleep. DH wants to resume that part of our lives together, but the thought of it makes me feel overwhelmed with exhaustion.

Sooooo how’s that working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m too exhausted for sex. Always, always I just want to climb in bed and sleep. DH wants to resume that part of our lives together, but the thought of it makes me feel overwhelmed with exhaustion.

Sooooo how’s that working?

I don't know how long it would continue for PP but this looks like heading for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m too exhausted for sex. Always, always I just want to climb in bed and sleep. DH wants to resume that part of our lives together, but the thought of it makes me feel overwhelmed with exhaustion.

Sooooo how’s that working?

I don't know how long it would continue for PP but this looks like heading for divorce.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start reading smut. Seriously.

Can you recommend a book?

There’s a long thread in the book club forum. I find it easier to just browse Literotica for short stories by category. There is something for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

Good for you.

Not everyone is brave enough to do that as people are comfortable with the current situation even if it is sexless. Peri or menopause do affect marriages in more ways than people think. Some of them have zero desire to do anything sexual and peri-menopause affects everything with your body since it is about hormones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.

I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.

Good insight and judgement. Most men think with just the pen*s and handle it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

She probably just wanted to get rid of you and your pen*s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

She probably just wanted to get rid of you and your pen*s.

That's why she got dumped. Who wants to be close to an angry person? Everyone has needs and your partner should be able to make efforts if that makes you happy.

[Anonymous]

While there are a few useful /worthwhile suggestions to try here, there doesn’t seem to be a magic bullet (unless I missed it).

Anything promising on the horizon or under final-approval?

[Anonymous]

shatavari

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

This is horrible. I would rather live alone than been with someone like this. Did you have any kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up divorcing my wife because she had gained a lot of weight and stopped taking care of herself. On top of having medical issues, she is not keeping up with her meds whether it is for hormone, SSRI or type 2. In addition, she was always grumpy and angry on something. It was getting too much and on top of supporting the family financially, there was no intimacy, and her attitude was very poor.

This is horrible. I would rather live alone than been with someone like this. Did you have any kids?

It absolutely isn't horrible to divorce someone who treats you badly. Perhaps this should serve as a warning to you.