My kid witnessed another playdate - awkward - how to handle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess now it gets clear that this is just a trolling thread. OP didn’t successfully stir up some fight, so some else (?) jumps in to make the fuss.

Yup, exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was trying to advocate for my kid. She spent the afternoon alone crying while three friends were off having fun; how is that in any way fair? I am on the fence with how to respond to this girl's mother. She just responded with a "heart" emoji on my text and said, "I'm sorry she felt left out. Three kids is my max for playdate supervision. Hope we can see you soon." Not even an invite or any kind of ownership of the behavior.
Maybe I am being insecure or irrational but seeing your kid in tears, left out, visibly, hurts.

Oh dear. I think you need to seek counseling and parent training. You are going to make your child a pariah. Parents who are difficult are not many other parents' cups of tea. You are being very difficult.

[Anonymous]

I already posted in this thread but there's one thing I don't think has been mentioned.

Assuming for the sake of argument OP is not a troll and that she is still reading replies AND that this really happened today...

OP should tell her child not to mention the incident to her "best friend" or the other kids who went to the playdate, ESPECIALLY if OP commiserated with her. Otherwise,if she's young, it's possible she'' ll do something like tell her "best friend" that she shouldn't play with the inviter child because "she and her mommy are mean --my mommy said so." Or the inviter child is "mean" and "even when my mommy told her mommy that I cried because I wasn't invited to the playdate, her mommy didn't even apologize!" I can't predict exactly what the child might say, but if mommy made it seem as if the other child and/or her mother wronged her, it's at least possible, if not probable, she'll say so. And, believe me, that will make things even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was trying to advocate for my kid. She spent the afternoon alone crying while three friends were off having fun; how is that in any way fair? I am on the fence with how to respond to this girl's mother. She just responded with a "heart" emoji on my text and said, "I'm sorry she felt left out. Three kids is my max for playdate supervision. Hope we can see you soon." Not even an invite or any kind of ownership of the behavior.
Maybe I am being insecure or irrational but seeing your kid in tears, left out, visibly, hurts.

Oh dear. I think you need to seek counseling and parent training. You are going to make your child a pariah. Parents who are difficult are not many other parents' cups of tea. You are being very difficult.

+1

I really hope this is fake. If it isn’t, you need to stop this type of thing right away, OP…..before your DD is not invited anywhere at all.

[Anonymous]

Kids are allowed to have other friends, they are allowed to have playdates with those other friends. You are clearly still stuck in middle school. Your daughter is going to have a hard time with a mommy like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's incredibly hurt, so I did send the mom a text (I do know her, it's not like I am a random parent she has never met before) saying that my DD was hurt that she couldn't have been included in the playdate, it was hard to watch the girls walk off without her, and next time, could she also join in. I was very kind about it but trying to advocate for my daughter.

Excuse me, you did WHAT? GREAT JOB single handedly destroying your child's social life, OP. She's never getting invited to anything because now you're the crazy mom.

[Anonymous]

This whole thing was trolling! Come on now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do you think this is an age thing? I find older parents (in their 40's) to be much more laid back about things. It's the parents in their 20's and 30's who seem super uptight.

DP, but not true for my own experience. Because I AM that older parent who was sensitive and insecure. What I did find though is that SAHP might get more caught up with this. When I was a SAHP, I was ** in all honey** obsessed over whether I could have a group of parental friends who I can make arrangements with play dates a lot and at time, got overly sensitive when realizing that we were left out. However, after I transitioned into a ft working parent, I just don’t have the same kind of energy and time to dwell over this all the time.

What is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do you think this is an age thing? I find older parents (in their 40's) to be much more laid back about things. It's the parents in their 20's and 30's who seem super uptight.

DP, but not true for my own experience. Because I AM that older parent who was sensitive and insecure. What I did find though is that SAHP might get more caught up with this. When I was a SAHP, I was ** in all honey** obsessed over whether I could have a group of parental friends who I can make arrangements with play dates a lot and at time, got overly sensitive when realizing that we were left out. However, after I transitioned into a ft working parent, I just don’t have the same kind of energy and time to dwell over this all the time.

What is this?

Np: probably “in all honesty”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT text the mom. You are coming across very insecure and frankly, psycho. Invite the girls out for a playdate next time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter was rude to ask her friend for a playdate when she was with others. Kids are allowed to have other friends.

+1 this! Wow! Did your daughter include the other 2 girls standing there when she invited her friend?

[Anonymous]

The other mom gave a great response to a very unnecessary and dramatic text. Unfortunately, OP, you and your daughter did not do yourself favors with how you acted and I would not be surprised if now the other mom is leery of inviting your daughter and engaging with you too much even if before she hadn’t been. You’ve got a lot of anxiety to control if you’re going to help your daughter navigate social dynamics as a child.

[Anonymous]

OP has fled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has fled

She’s busy confronting the play date mom at drop off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's incredibly hurt, so I did send the mom a text (I do know her, it's not like I am a random parent she has never met before) saying that my DD was hurt that she couldn't have been included in the playdate, it was hard to watch the girls walk off without her, and next time, could she also join in. I was very kind about it but trying to advocate for my daughter.

Way too much drama. It is okay for friends to have other friends. You aren't setting a great example for your daughter on how to handle these things.