AP to “Stepmom”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’ll love her more than you because she’s fun.

Prepare for this in the short term. Especially is he has more money to throw at them.

But, if it lasts then she’ll likely want kids of her own and his second family will start taking precedent.

Focus on the long game and try not to worry about him. Even though I know it’s incredibly hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ll love her more than you because she’s fun.

Prepare for this in the short term. Especially is he has more money to throw at them.

But, if it lasts then she’ll likely want kids of her own and his second family will start taking precedent.

Focus on the long game and try not to worry about him. Even though I know it’s incredibly hard.

OP here. Thank you for this encouragement and empathy. I’ve been continuing to check this thread obviously and really appreciate all the commiseration and good advice even when it’s telling it to me straight.

[Anonymous]

OP - I’m the poster in your same boat. I think we’re filing any day now and I’m so worried about getting the settlement right!

I wonder if we can start a new thread asking for tips? I feel like I’ve gotten great advice already following this thread. I need to compile it all somewhere and keep getting more advice on what to include and consider in the settlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend is a divorce lawyer. One thing she loves to do is men come to court and they say “you will not keep me from my children. I want them every other weekend.”

Then she presents them with a plan where they are required to take the child every other week for a whole week.

The fear in their eyes she says is glorious.

They immediately take the stance that they can’t because of their job, lol.

Judges do not play. judges are like do you want your children or do you not want your .

These men’s lives are turned upside down and the new girlfriend is like oh no I did not sign up for this.

The relationship always ends in the next six months. Only one percent of a fair partners become wives.

Quite often when the wife is the cheater, the men really do want their kids half the time or more. That’s a whole different post.

This doesn’t sound at all correct or current. Fathers typically want and get 50% custody, not every other weekend.

Not ones starting new families with AP.

Normal divorces you are correct.

+1 Our marriage counselor told me that if spouse wasn’t interested in parenting while he lived in the same house with the kids, he wasn’t going to be interested in it after the divorce either. I remember thinking, no, he’ll want more than every other weekend…but he has declined any physical custody at all. He signed a custody agreement that awards me physical custody 100% of the time. He even had me remove the language that guaranteed him that we’d rotate custody on holidays and gave him 2 weeks of the kids’ summer vacation.

Selfish, checked out parents don’t want their kids 50% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think grandparents see "their own" as their child but not their grandchild. Ive never seen a grandparent who would approve of their son refusing to protect the financial interests of their existing grandchildren over his AP.

More blood in common with the son. They’re not going to sell him out for the ex-wife/grandchild. I agree that it’s unfortunate, but it’s the reality. Maybe your DS is their favorite, or maybe the other pressure tactics worked on your ex.