My husband died from alcoholism

[Anonymous]

OP How are you doing?

[Anonymous]

I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for my naive question but don’t you smell the alcohol on their breath? How can you live with someone and not know? I don’t understand.

Oh, she knew.

[Anonymous]

I didn't grow up with addiction either in my family or close friends. So I was unaware of the signs.

My spouse hid their addiction and it was hard to tell what was "normal" or not normal.

It took almost losing everything for them to become sober.

It is an awful affliction and very isolating to suffer from the shame and hiding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

How long and how much did she drink?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

How long and how much did she drink?

NP but that's the thing about alcoholism. No one knows how much is too much. Obviously we are talking alcoholic levels of drinking - binging over a sustained period of time but it kills some people young, and it doesn't kill some older people who drink more. It's really Russian Roulette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

How long and how much did she drink?

NP but that's the thing about alcoholism. No one knows how much is too much. Obviously we are talking alcoholic levels of drinking - binging over a sustained period of time but it kills some people young, and it doesn't kill some older people who drink more. It's really Russian Roulette.

And no one can truly know the amount. They appear to have 2 drinks at a party, but they drank 2 on the way over and chugged 3 in the bathroom. Or went to the cooler to get a second drink but chugged 2 while there quick and appeared to just come back with the second. Or peppermint alcohol to blend with mouthwash. Or alcohol in the coffee mug. The possibilities are infinite.

[Anonymous]

Yes, before my spouse became sober it was vodka mixed with water or other beverages (an entire bottle of vodka in a day). They would choose vodka to it being more neutral in color and smell.

[Anonymous]

I’m very sorry for your loss. My husband is one of those “functional” quiet alcoholics. I wish knowledge gave me the power to stop him but he won’t admit his addiction, won’t go to a doctor, won’t get help. Sadly, I feel like the death your husband experienced is literally the best possible outcome I can envision for my husband. I fear it will be much worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

How long and how much did she drink?

She mostly drain about a bottle, box really of wine every night. But she would drink any and all liquor she could get her hands on. I finally decided I had to get my two kids away from her. I did all I could for her but in the end, she didn't want to stop. Then I stopped caring about her and concentrated on what was more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very sorry for your loss. My husband is one of those “functional” quiet alcoholics. I wish knowledge gave me the power to stop him but he won’t admit his addiction, won’t go to a doctor, won’t get help. Sadly, I feel like the death your husband experienced is literally the best possible outcome I can envision for my husband. I fear it will be much worse.

I am so sorry to hear this (NP)....I used to hope for this outcome when my spouse's alcoholism was at its worst.

My spouse is sober now but it is still not a picnic, there is a lot of resentment for what I went through and why they didn't quit earlier, and a bit of a holier than thou and sanctimonious attitude now that they quit. Not sure if my marriage will survive as I feel the trust is not there and I feel there is still a lot of selfishness with their choices overall, and I am just tired.