Hobbies that are Dealbreakers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the horses! I'm a woman, but a very close friend of mine owns a horse and the expenses associated with it are unreal! She spends countless hours at the stable taking care of the horse in addition to the riding, and during the summer heat she takes it to a pond on the property to go for a swim very frequently. I went with her the other day and while it was fun going for the swim, it was the entire afternoon and she does this often times both weekend days and sometimes after work on weeknights. She's dated plenty of guys over the years, but I really think she can't prioritize a relationship over her horse at this point in her life. We're in our late 20's now, so I wonder if this will change in the next few years...

+1 Horseback riding is a lifestyle. Even for the very wealthy who have other people doing the stable work, it's a huge time commitment just gearing up, going to the stables, riding, going straight home (you smell!), and showering after. And that's assuming someone else cleans your gear after, brushes down the horse, and does all the stable work. Both people need to be really into it.

I've ridden my whole life. Our two daughters now ride. My husband has been on a few trail rides but not for years. He's an excellent barn and show dad. Yes, we spend multiple six figures on it every year and it takes up so much time but our kids love it and my husband always encourages me to ride because it makes me happy. I'm sure if he had to choose he would have picked a different sport but he has happily supported us all for 10 years. And I don't mean supported financially, I also work and have my own money so while we do pay the monthly bills out of out joint account, I purchased my horse with my own money.

What’s so appealing about it? Genuinely curious.

The connection with your horse is unlike anything else I've ever experienced, and I have always had pets. Horses aren't machines, they are animals with feelings and emotions and opinions, and they are different from each other. My husband was shocked to learn how individual each of our horses is. Just like our dogs.

Flying over a 5' jump is the coolest thing I've ever done. I've never gone sky diving or cliff jumping so there may be comparative activities, but I happen to like this one.

As a girl, it gave me a lot of confidence. I see the same in my children. My dad always said he never regretted a penny spent on my horses growing up because there's something about being able to control a 1,200 pound animal that makes a girl kind of tough. Again, not saying this is the only way to do it. I'm sure other sports, especially ones like martial arts, could have a similar effect.

I've met a great community of people. I think we're all a bit crazy and I've had other things in my life (church, neighborhoods, school) where I have also had great groups of people. But shows are generally multiple-day events that run more than 12 hours, so you spend a lot of time together with other people.

It's great physical activity. Never mind the actual riding (which takes really good balance, a solid core, and really strong legs), but there is so much physical work that goes into it. (And we're at a barn that cleans the stalls so it's not like we have them in our backyard or anything). But there isn't a lot of sitting on the sidelines like there may be with other sports.

Those are the ones that come to mind.

All of this. I can't afford the money or time, but it is such a confidence builder to control a large animal. And teaches responsibility.

[Anonymous]

having some sort of hobby or interest is a good thing. as long as i am not expected to partake (unless it's one of my hobbies) i don't care what my significant other is involved in (assuming it is safe and legal).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a male equestrian. I like it and do shows and jumping. I wouldn’t date one though, they’re crazy.

Anything anime, Disney or Harry Potter related for me. I mean going to Disney is all fine and good. Obsessed with Disney or Harry Potter is weird. Anime is strange so no. Also if you’re a “photographer”. No you’re not, you take mid pictures and use filters and no one cares.

Green flag hobbies are anything outdoors like kayaking, paddle board, hiking. Gym and fitness related.

Horse people are crazy. I dated a guy for a little bit who was into riding. He talked about it nonstop, had a lot of friends in the horse world and they were all drama. I couldn't be around it so the "relationship" didn't last. The one thing I will say is he was in great shape. I'm sure some of it had to do with riding.

Hmmm, wonder if I dated the same guy. Was in great shape and was an English rider. Only met his friends once or twice but they seemed standoff-ish but were friendly when I did engage with them first.

He was a good rider and I enjoyed watching when I got a chance to see it but it was always either a long day or it took a lot of time. He was at the barn constantly and it was too big a part of his life and I just got tired of it. I think I stayed longer than I intended because he looked good in riding pants and boots.

[Anonymous]

Pickleball. You play pickleball I’m not going to go on a date with you.

[Anonymous]

skinny-skiing
going to bullfights on acid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the horses! I'm a woman, but a very close friend of mine owns a horse and the expenses associated with it are unreal! She spends countless hours at the stable taking care of the horse in addition to the riding, and during the summer heat she takes it to a pond on the property to go for a swim very frequently. I went with her the other day and while it was fun going for the swim, it was the entire afternoon and she does this often times both weekend days and sometimes after work on weeknights. She's dated plenty of guys over the years, but I really think she can't prioritize a relationship over her horse at this point in her life. We're in our late 20's now, so I wonder if this will change in the next few years...

+1 Horseback riding is a lifestyle. Even for the very wealthy who have other people doing the stable work, it's a huge time commitment just gearing up, going to the stables, riding, going straight home (you smell!), and showering after. And that's assuming someone else cleans your gear after, brushes down the horse, and does all the stable work. Both people need to be really into it.

I've ridden my whole life. Our two daughters now ride. My husband has been on a few trail rides but not for years. He's an excellent barn and show dad. Yes, we spend multiple six figures on it every year and it takes up so much time but our kids love it and my husband always encourages me to ride because it makes me happy. I'm sure if he had to choose he would have picked a different sport but he has happily supported us all for 10 years. And I don't mean supported financially, I also work and have my own money so while we do pay the monthly bills out of out joint account, I purchased my horse with my own money.

I am woman considering joining equestrian sports. Do you actually need to spend 6-figures on it as a beginner? Income 400K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Triathlons. CrossFit. Anime. Golf. Cheese making.

Cycling, triathlon, marathon, CrossFit, kayaking, Mount biking, running, cycling of any kind , swimming, soccer, etc all should be huge red-flags.

These all take up all the guy’s spare time and he won’t be available to do the things you want him to do, because he will be constantly training or staying fit. Avoid these guys.

This is crazy - why can't you do some of these sports with them? I would love cycling or train for Iron Man competition with my man. I'm very fit and athletic myself. I think likes attract the likes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't broken up with anyone over this, by cycling is a deal breaker for me at this point.

I had an ex-fiancé who played on/managed a highly competitive amateur soccer team. He was obsessive about it, to the point that I usually came second to soccer. We'd be on vacation and he'd spend half the time on his phone about soccer. We'd be hiking and he'd be 20 ft behind me texting about the soccer team.

I'm not saying we broke up over it specifically, but it ruined a huge part of our relationship.

Actually, you were lucky he was into a hobby instead of texting random girls behind your back. These men with hobbies are easier IMHO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the horses! I'm a woman, but a very close friend of mine owns a horse and the expenses associated with it are unreal! She spends countless hours at the stable taking care of the horse in addition to the riding, and during the summer heat she takes it to a pond on the property to go for a swim very frequently. I went with her the other day and while it was fun going for the swim, it was the entire afternoon and she does this often times both weekend days and sometimes after work on weeknights. She's dated plenty of guys over the years, but I really think she can't prioritize a relationship over her horse at this point in her life. We're in our late 20's now, so I wonder if this will change in the next few years...

Horse person here…no, it won’t change. Horses come with the package, and dating a guy who wants that to change is not happening.

My DH knew that I came with baggage, i.e. my horses, and would never ask me to choose between them. He wouldn’t like the answer and he knows it!

I did cut back on showing while my kids were little, but now they are teens/tweens I compete again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the horses! I'm a woman, but a very close friend of mine owns a horse and the expenses associated with it are unreal! She spends countless hours at the stable taking care of the horse in addition to the riding, and during the summer heat she takes it to a pond on the property to go for a swim very frequently. I went with her the other day and while it was fun going for the swim, it was the entire afternoon and she does this often times both weekend days and sometimes after work on weeknights. She's dated plenty of guys over the years, but I really think she can't prioritize a relationship over her horse at this point in her life. We're in our late 20's now, so I wonder if this will change in the next few years...

+1 Horseback riding is a lifestyle. Even for the very wealthy who have other people doing the stable work, it's a huge time commitment just gearing up, going to the stables, riding, going straight home (you smell!), and showering after. And that's assuming someone else cleans your gear after, brushes down the horse, and does all the stable work. Both people need to be really into it.

I've ridden my whole life. Our two daughters now ride. My husband has been on a few trail rides but not for years. He's an excellent barn and show dad. Yes, we spend multiple six figures on it every year and it takes up so much time but our kids love it and my husband always encourages me to ride because it makes me happy. I'm sure if he had to choose he would have picked a different sport but he has happily supported us all for 10 years. And I don't mean supported financially, I also work and have my own money so while we do pay the monthly bills out of out joint account, I purchased my horse with my own money.

I am woman considering joining equestrian sports. Do you actually need to spend 6-figures on it as a beginner? Income 400K

No, definitely not!

I would suggest finding a barn that has school horses. I would buy a horse only after you have decided you are very serious about riding. They're basically pets that live into their 20's (generally) and require a lot of care, including after you don't ride them anymore.

Take lessons and then if you're committed, find something to lease. That way if something happens it's not on you to figure it out. Also, at the beginning you're progressing through levels so you will likely need a different mount every year or two. My kids have had their ponies generally 2-3 years each at this point (leased) but they had their first ones for only a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the horses! I'm a woman, but a very close friend of mine owns a horse and the expenses associated with it are unreal! She spends countless hours at the stable taking care of the horse in addition to the riding, and during the summer heat she takes it to a pond on the property to go for a swim very frequently. I went with her the other day and while it was fun going for the swim, it was the entire afternoon and she does this often times both weekend days and sometimes after work on weeknights. She's dated plenty of guys over the years, but I really think she can't prioritize a relationship over her horse at this point in her life. We're in our late 20's now, so I wonder if this will change in the next few years...

+1 Horseback riding is a lifestyle. Even for the very wealthy who have other people doing the stable work, it's a huge time commitment just gearing up, going to the stables, riding, going straight home (you smell!), and showering after. And that's assuming someone else cleans your gear after, brushes down the horse, and does all the stable work. Both people need to be really into it.

I've ridden my whole life. Our two daughters now ride. My husband has been on a few trail rides but not for years. He's an excellent barn and show dad. Yes, we spend multiple six figures on it every year and it takes up so much time but our kids love it and my husband always encourages me to ride because it makes me happy. I'm sure if he had to choose he would have picked a different sport but he has happily supported us all for 10 years. And I don't mean supported financially, I also work and have my own money so while we do pay the monthly bills out of out joint account, I purchased my horse with my own money.

I am woman considering joining equestrian sports. Do you actually need to spend 6-figures on it as a beginner? Income 400K

No, definitely not!

I would suggest finding a barn that has school horses. I would buy a horse only after you have decided you are very serious about riding. They're basically pets that live into their 20's (generally) and require a lot of care, including after you don't ride them anymore.

Take lessons and then if you're committed, find something to lease. That way if something happens it's not on you to figure it out. Also, at the beginning you're progressing through levels so you will likely need a different mount every year or two. My kids have had their ponies generally 2-3 years each at this point (leased) but they had their first ones for only a year.

Thanks !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the horses! I'm a woman, but a very close friend of mine owns a horse and the expenses associated with it are unreal! She spends countless hours at the stable taking care of the horse in addition to the riding, and during the summer heat she takes it to a pond on the property to go for a swim very frequently. I went with her the other day and while it was fun going for the swim, it was the entire afternoon and she does this often times both weekend days and sometimes after work on weeknights. She's dated plenty of guys over the years, but I really think she can't prioritize a relationship over her horse at this point in her life. We're in our late 20's now, so I wonder if this will change in the next few years...

+1 Horseback riding is a lifestyle. Even for the very wealthy who have other people doing the stable work, it's a huge time commitment just gearing up, going to the stables, riding, going straight home (you smell!), and showering after. And that's assuming someone else cleans your gear after, brushes down the horse, and does all the stable work. Both people need to be really into it.

I've ridden my whole life. Our two daughters now ride. My husband has been on a few trail rides but not for years. He's an excellent barn and show dad. Yes, we spend multiple six figures on it every year and it takes up so much time but our kids love it and my husband always encourages me to ride because it makes me happy. I'm sure if he had to choose he would have picked a different sport but he has happily supported us all for 10 years. And I don't mean supported financially, I also work and have my own money so while we do pay the monthly bills out of out joint account, I purchased my horse with my own money.

I am woman considering joining equestrian sports. Do you actually need to spend 6-figures on it as a beginner? Income 400K

No . There is a good barns here with schooling horses and good instructors. One I know has adult only lessons too if you’re interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Civil war reenactment groups . Who wants to recreate a bloody war?

And it is a red flag for serial killers - anyone else watching Black Bird?

[Anonymous]

Church
Therapy
Hunting
Fishing
Party planning
Watches college sports
Influencing
MLM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:World of Warcraft - complete time suck that caused my college boyfriend to flunk out of school
Anime - he will leave you for an Asian woman at first opportunity
PC gaming in general (Nintendo type stuff doesn't seem to be as addictive) - again time suck, they will spend beautiful summer Saturdays doing this

These plus video gamer or online gamer (especially Nintendo/Xbox/Playstation)

It all seems like arrested development type of hobbies.

Golfing/biking/marathon running are fine with limited hours.