Do you think the popular girls tend to have the popular moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is an American thing in a small private school with a smaller class size and people with money.

Not typical in big American public schools.

Bullsh-t. It’s far worse in public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, this is one anecdote, but one of the "popular" or it girls or whatever in my DD's middle school class all wore matching skirts to a dance. I assumed the kids came up with this but it turns out a mom suggested it, ordered it, decided who was on the list to get the skirt, etc.

The moms of these girls all hang out and some of the moms are trying to push their kids into the group. It's super weird but I don't think that uncommon so to answer OP, yes, I personally think there is a mother-daughter correlation in many cases.

this happened for Halloween in my neighborhood.

Halloween brings out the worst in many.

Forget the girls. A bunch of moms got matching shirts in our neighborhood. Very cringy.

[Anonymous]

Im European too and I think this is how it works, here in DC anyway. Luckily my two girls are uncool like me and my husband, so they don’t aspire to be in the cool crowd. I find so many facets of American culture so strange I try to let it wash over me and be nice to everyone. They probably think I’m an utter loser.

[Anonymous]

Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

At our kids’ private the “popular” parent group has quite a few alums who’ve known each other for decades and they all seem to live in the same two neighborhoods. If you dug a little deeper, probably a lot of overlap with college alma mater too, maybe even professional network. Even second vacation homes in the same area. Naturally their kids all hang out and all went to the same one or two feeder primary schools.

I don’t understand why so many people get on DCUM and ridicule such parents and their kids. This is all perfectly normal and organic sorting. It’s quite arrogant to think you and your kid(s) can just show up and penetrate such an established friend group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im European too and I think this is how it works, here in DC anyway. Luckily my two girls are uncool like me and my husband, so they don’t aspire to be in the cool crowd. I find so many facets of American culture so strange I try to let it wash over me and be nice to everyone. They probably think I’m an utter loser.

I'm American but like to take a Swiss approach to all this - aware but neutral. And nice to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

At our kids’ private the “popular” parent group has quite a few alums who’ve known each other for decades and they all seem to live in the same two neighborhoods. If you dug a little deeper, probably a lot of overlap with college alma mater too, maybe even professional network. Even second vacation homes in the same area. Naturally their kids all hang out and all went to the same one or two feeder primary schools.

I don’t understand why so many people get on DCUM and ridicule such parents and their kids. This is all perfectly normal and organic sorting. It’s quite arrogant to think you and your kid(s) can just show up and penetrate such an established friend group.

Hm that’s a good perspective on that. However it can be downright torture for kids at a small private where almost all boys or girls in a grade all belong to the same country club and you belong to another or not at all. Better for schools to be more honest in admissions recruitment and say look it’s gonna suck for your poor kid, go to a different school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

No.

You never saw a new kid at school immediately enter the popular clique? What do those kids possess? Their parents don’t train them for day 1 of new school where they don’t know a soul, they simply have it factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is an American thing in a small private school with a smaller class size and people with money.

Not typical in big American public schools.

Definitely was a trend at my rural public high school. I have seeen the mini me blond moms and tennis playing daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also from Europe and these cliques were hard for me to see. As someone more down to earth, I found the rich American parenting scene extremely off-putting, intense, and the kids reflected the parents' intensity by being very competitive. We ended up moving to an area with many foreign parents and less wealth.

Europe is much better about sorting socioeconomic classes earlier in life with tracking etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

No.

You never saw a new kid at school immediately enter the popular clique? What do those kids possess? Their parents don’t train them for day 1 of new school where they don’t know a soul, they simply have it factor.

Yes, and a certain level of blandness is one of the requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

No.

You never saw a new kid at school immediately enter the popular clique? What do those kids possess? Their parents don’t train them for day 1 of new school where they don’t know a soul, they simply have it factor.

Yes, and a certain level of blandness is one of the requirements.

Blandness, yes if by this you mean "not quirky or unique." The popular crowd generally does not do quirky or odd.
My son entered the popular crowd almost upon arrival (9th grade) at a snobby private and he's definitely main stream in interests (sports, girls, etc) but he's very quick witted, funny and smart. He also has a swagger about him.
So I wouldn't call him bland but I would call him basic. He's nothing like his parents. We were quirky and geeky as teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

No.

You never saw a new kid at school immediately enter the popular clique? What do those kids possess? Their parents don’t train them for day 1 of new school where they don’t know a soul, they simply have it factor.

Yes, and a certain level of blandness is one of the requirements.

Blandness, yes if by this you mean "not quirky or unique." The popular crowd generally does not do quirky or odd.
My son entered the popular crowd almost upon arrival (9th grade) at a snobby private and he's definitely main stream in interests (sports, girls, etc) but he's very quick witted, funny and smart. He also has a swagger about him.
So I wouldn't call him bland but I would call him basic. He's nothing like his parents. We were quirky and geeky as teens.

No.

blandness
noun

Definition of blandness
as in dullness

Synonyms & Similar Words:
dullness
monotony
insipidity
thinness
dulness
predictability
tediousness
weakness
sameness
platitude
flatness
insipidity
tastelessness
monotonousness

[Anonymous]

You should watch Mean Girls. Observe Amy Poehler's character (mom of the queen bee). Hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

No.

You never saw a new kid at school immediately enter the popular clique? What do those kids possess? Their parents don’t train them for day 1 of new school where they don’t know a soul, they simply have it factor.

Yes, and a certain level of blandness is one of the requirements.

Not blandness. I remember the new kids who immediately became "cool" were good looking and confident and savvy of the pecking order. I remember it distinctly because as someone more in the middle of the pack, a friend of mine who was very nice would become the first friend of these new girls and then as they rose in popularity they ditched her.