Do you think the popular girls tend to have the popular moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are a rich immigrant family and my kids have always been included. My boys are very athletic and my daughter has always been super social.

What is the point you are trying to make? Than you can be a rich immigrant and popular?

No, I’m saying if you are an athletic boy, you can be popular and included. If you are social and well liked, you can also be popular. I’m not part of any mom social scene of my kids’ parents. We do live in a 15,000sf house and kids often come and go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charismatic outgoing “alpha” kids have existed since the dawn of time. A lot of it is genetic/nature but of course this can also be shaped/nurtured too by established parent friend groups and sports.

No.

You never saw a new kid at school immediately enter the popular clique? What do those kids possess? Their parents don’t train them for day 1 of new school where they don’t know a soul, they simply have it factor.

Yes, and a certain level of blandness is one of the requirements.

Ah yes, they’re so bland and your kid is just TOO witty and interesting to “get.” Sure sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The dc area private school thing is one of the most miserable subcultures in our country. The schools are great, but I hate everything else about it. Maybe old money Connecticut is worse?

I'm one of the PPs who was unpopular with a popular mom. This was in old money Connecticut. I'm still working through this in therapy. OP, if your public school is reasonable, that might be a better option!!!!

What is there to work through?

Why Connecticut??

[Anonymous]

I just can’t imagine wanting to be in the popular group as a grown person. One of the best things about growing older is not giving a F about what people think about you. Having to try to fit in/wear the right clothes/have the right ECs, care about where people are going on vacations. That sounds miserable AF.

It’s sad though that in certain small schools that would translate into people being left out. Maybe there is some of that in public schools at the ES level in wealthier areas? I can’t fathom public school parents with jobs having the energy to care about popularity.

[Anonymous]

I knew no one when I went to high school at an all girls school and my parents did not know anyone either. I do think that if you tend towards outgoing you can make friends anywhere. I am sensitive to people that doesn’t come easy for or are just natural introverts. As an adult I try to seek out folks who stand around the edges and talk to them. If they aren’t interested in chatting that’s fine but often they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are a rich immigrant family and my kids have always been included. My boys are very athletic and my daughter has always been super social.

What is the point you are trying to make? Than you can be a rich immigrant and popular?

No, I’m saying if you are an athletic boy, you can be popular and included. If you are social and well liked, you can also be popular. I’m not part of any mom social scene of my kids’ parents. We do live in a 15,000sf house and kids often come and go.

It has nothing to do with being athletic or social. Almost all kids in our school play sports.

It’s a tactic of excluding others to feel superior and exclusive. When you are exclusive, everyone wants to be in, right?

Coincidentally, it’s rich housewife games who create mom cliques and teach their daughters to create cliques.

For Europeans it’s a new experience. We didn’t have anything like this growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having to try to fit in/wear the right clothes/have the right ECs, care about where people are going on vacations. That sounds miserable AF.

Yeah, in our school popular girls all dress the same, it’s like a Lululemon uniform, carry Stanleys, color their hair blond.

Only certain sports are accepted volleyball and tennis. They belong to the same sorority. They go to the same “high society” balls, like debutant ball.

Their families go to the same island for vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are a rich immigrant family and my kids have always been included. My boys are very athletic and my daughter has always been super social.

What is the point you are trying to make? Than you can be a rich immigrant and popular?

No, I’m saying if you are an athletic boy, you can be popular and included. If you are social and well liked, you can also be popular. I’m not part of any mom social scene of my kids’ parents. We do live in a 15,000sf house and kids often come and go.

The key here is “rich”. It’s much easier to entertain when you have the cool house and all the things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to try to fit in/wear the right clothes/have the right ECs, care about where people are going on vacations. That sounds miserable AF.

Yeah, in our school popular girls all dress the same, it’s like a Lululemon uniform, carry Stanleys, color their hair blond.

Only certain sports are accepted volleyball and tennis. They belong to the same sorority. They go to the same “high society” balls, like debutant ball.

Their families go to the same island for vacation.

Is this a local public or private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to try to fit in/wear the right clothes/have the right ECs, care about where people are going on vacations. That sounds miserable AF.

Yeah, in our school popular girls all dress the same, it’s like a Lululemon uniform, carry Stanleys, color their hair blond.

Only certain sports are accepted volleyball and tennis. They belong to the same sorority. They go to the same “high society” balls, like debutant ball.

Their families go to the same island for vacation.

Is this a local public or private school?

private

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to try to fit in/wear the right clothes/have the right ECs, care about where people are going on vacations. That sounds miserable AF.

Yeah, in our school popular girls all dress the same, it’s like a Lululemon uniform, carry Stanleys, color their hair blond.

Only certain sports are accepted volleyball and tennis. They belong to the same sorority. They go to the same “high society” balls, like debutant ball.

Their families go to the same island for vacation.

Is this a local public or private school?

private

The popular girls in our public Vienna VA MS are also athletic, wear Lululemon, have the Stanleys, dress the same. But I think there is more of a variety of acceptable popular sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to try to fit in/wear the right clothes/have the right ECs, care about where people are going on vacations. That sounds miserable AF.

Yeah, in our school popular girls all dress the same, it’s like a Lululemon uniform, carry Stanleys, color their hair blond.

Only certain sports are accepted volleyball and tennis. They belong to the same sorority. They go to the same “high society” balls, like debutant ball.

Their families go to the same island for vacation.

You must live in the south where no one leaves and every goes to State U, then returns home to nanny or work with Dad.

[Anonymous]

Only feminine sports allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are a rich immigrant family and my kids have always been included. My boys are very athletic and my daughter has always been super social.

What is the point you are trying to make? Than you can be a rich immigrant and popular?

No, I’m saying if you are an athletic boy, you can be popular and included. If you are social and well liked, you can also be popular. I’m not part of any mom social scene of my kids’ parents. We do live in a 15,000sf house and kids often come and go.

It has nothing to do with being athletic or social. Almost all kids in our school play sports.

It’s a tactic of excluding others to feel superior and exclusive. When you are exclusive, everyone wants to be in, right?

Coincidentally, it’s rich housewife games who create mom cliques and teach their daughters to create cliques.

For Europeans it’s a new experience. We didn’t have anything like this growing up.

It’s natural for people to form small groups of friends. This is how all high school kids socialize. Adults too. It isn’t a tactic to feel superior or exclusive; the whole school cant hang out together every Friday. Kids that have things in common hang out together, I’m smallish groups, because that is the most practical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We are a rich immigrant family and my kids have always been included. My boys are very athletic and my daughter has always been super social.

What is the point you are trying to make? Than you can be a rich immigrant and popular?

No, I’m saying if you are an athletic boy, you can be popular and included. If you are social and well liked, you can also be popular. I’m not part of any mom social scene of my kids’ parents. We do live in a 15,000sf house and kids often come and go.

Your kids found a group of friends but that doesn’t mean they are in what’s considered the “popular” crowd. Also athletics have nothing to do with being popular except in movies. Some will be popular, some won’t.

Just be glad your kids are happy.