Do you think the popular girls tend to have the popular moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but who gives a s**t?

Here’s your answer.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean to tell me that there were no out groups in Holland? That sounds amazing, OP. Tell me more.

[Anonymous]

My kids have attended a UMC public since K.

This was maybe a little bit true in elementary school (mostly because similar moms tend to become friends and hang out together- throwing their daughters together by association) but definitely not true in middle school or high school.

The one thing I have noticed over the years, is that girls with older sisters tend to be more likely to be popular (probably because they seem more mature due to older sibling? IDK)

I have never been popular in my life and neither has my DH. Our high school aged DD is popular and always has been, our high school aged DS is not and never has been (but has always had a few friends and is happy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is random. You can’t make your teen popular by getting them lululemon clothes and Stanley mugs. It just doesn’t work that way. Their personality is completely their own. Some kids want to be popular, try hard to be, and aren’t. Other don’t care at (and aren’t), others don’t care (and are).

Nice narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is an American thing in a small private school with a smaller class size and people with money.

Not typical in big American public schools.

I’ve definitely seen it in my local public school.

Maybe in elementary but in big publics there are so many kids coming from all over the place, not one clear “popular” clique, and parents don’t all know each other or have opportunity to know each other in the same way as in elementary or small private

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I have noticed over the years, is that girls with older sisters tend to be more likely to be popular.

+1

[Anonymous]

Ja, Amerikanen zijn gek.

Welkom in DC

[Anonymous]

Also from the Netherlands, and I will say that parents are much more involved and invested then I've seen in dutch schools.

[Anonymous]

Another from the Netherlands

There are so many differences in American schools. In small private schools here, there is always a clique of mean moms with mean girls. And they can make life difficult

It tends to be better at larger schools

[Anonymous]

I had a popular mom and was not a popular girl (far from it). It was a special kind of hell.

[Anonymous]

Don’t take switching schools off the table in the future.

[Anonymous]

I went to high school in Europe and cliques and popularity were definitely a thing there, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a popular mom and was not a popular girl (far from it). It was a special kind of hell.

+1

[Anonymous]

The dc area private school thing is one of the most miserable subcultures in our country. The schools are great, but I hate everything else about it. Maybe old money Connecticut is worse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also from the Netherlands, and I will say that parents are much more involved and invested then I've seen in dutch schools.

But the involvement is often not about supporting their children but rather engineering their lives to guarantee certain success (including social success).

The upshot are s that these kids wind up much less independent and sure if themselves (supposedly American qualities).

I think a balance is ideal: invested but with boundaries, giving space to grow but not totally detached.