Not invited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

Dead to you over not being invited to a wedding? Jesus H Christ, I can see why your extended family wouldn’t be inviting you places…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

You’re not taking the “high road” if you wanted to buy them to future holiday gatherings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

You’re not taking the “high road” if you wanted to buy them to future holiday gatherings

Edit:
Won’t invite them (NOT “wanted to buy…”)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

Dead to you over not being invited to a wedding? Jesus H Christ, I can see why your extended family wouldn’t be inviting you places…

Looks like the groom showed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

Now you know where you stand. Stop inviting them. You are talking about a few more people. Not 20, they should have invited you or no cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

Dead to you over not being invited to a wedding? Jesus H Christ, I can see why your extended family wouldn’t be inviting you places…

Looks like the groom showed up.

Bet you thought you were doing something with that response, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

Dead to you over not being invited to a wedding? Jesus H Christ, I can see why your extended family wouldn’t be inviting you places…

Looks like the groom showed up.

Bet you thought you were doing something with that response, huh?

Struck a nerve?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

You’re not taking the “high road” if you wanted to buy them to future holiday gatherings

Taking the high road meaning I’m not going to confront them or complain about it to them or anyone else. But no way would I be inviting them to my home again. So yea, they would be dead to me unless they reached out first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

Dead to you over not being invited to a wedding? Jesus H Christ, I can see why your extended family wouldn’t be inviting you places…

Looks like the groom showed up.

Bet you thought you were doing something with that response, huh?

Struck a nerve?

Nah, just laughing that people like you are willing to toss out a family relationship over not being invited to a wedding. It’s not life or death, get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

Dead to you over not being invited to a wedding? Jesus H Christ, I can see why your extended family wouldn’t be inviting you places…

Looks like the groom showed up.

Bet you thought you were doing something with that response, huh?

Struck a nerve?

Nah, just laughing that people like you are willing to toss out a family relationship over not being invited to a wedding. It’s not life or death, get some perspective.

It goes both ways. If people show you who they are, believe them. I’m not a sucker to pander to the likes of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

You’re not taking the “high road” if you wanted to buy them to future holiday gatherings

Taking the high road meaning I’m not going to confront them or complain about it to them or anyone else. But no way would I be inviting them to my home again. So yea, they would be dead to me unless they reached out first.

+1
I have a large extended family and I certainly don’t expect to be invited to every occasion, but we are informed of weddings, births and other significant events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

You’re not taking the “high road” if you wanted to buy them to future holiday gatherings

Taking the high road meaning I’m not going to confront them or complain about it to them or anyone else. But no way would I be inviting them to my home again. So yea, they would be dead to me unless they reached out first.

+1
I have a large extended family and I certainly don’t expect to be invited to every occasion, but we are informed of weddings, births and other significant events.

Maybe bride & groom didn't invite OP because she is dramatic and she is proving their point by flipping out when not receiving an invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

You’re not taking the “high road” if you wanted to buy them to future holiday gatherings

Taking the high road meaning I’m not going to confront them or complain about it to them or anyone else. But no way would I be inviting them to my home again. So yea, they would be dead to me unless they reached out first.

+1
I have a large extended family and I certainly don’t expect to be invited to every occasion, but we are informed of weddings, births and other significant events.

Maybe bride & groom didn't invite OP because she is dramatic and she is proving their point by flipping out when not receiving an invite.

You’re the one making up drama, not the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this case I would try to figure out why because that seems like such a selective and personal exclusion. Can your mom poke around? I would probably go to the cousin and just be really open and say 'I just found out about Larla and Tom's wedding and that we seem to be the only people not invited. I'm not angry but I'm a little confused and hurt and mostly want to understand why because I thought we all had a good relationship. Did something happen?'

So they aren't on the defensive about the wedding and you can just get to the meat of the matter.

Oh I did reach out to the parents. The response I got was that "the young couple are paying for the wedding". I could feel my cousin was uncomfortable. So it was OK for the young couple to be at my house many times but apparently we are not good enough for the wedding.

I initially thought it was your cousin getting married, but now I see it's the cousin's kid.

This is a tricky situation and you can choose to blow your family up over it, or you could have hurt feelings yet take the high road (which is what I would do). Weddings are very expensive and if the couple is paying for it then I can see how a friend or closer family member might take priority over a cousin once removed. Sorry.

OP. I would take the high road, not reach out and not ask BUT your cousin and his kid would now be dead to me. I would no longer be the first to reach out, they would no longer be invited to my house, I would not send holiday cards, and definitely do NOT send a wedding gift, card or acknowledgment. I’m so sorry OP.

You’re not taking the “high road” if you wanted to buy them to future holiday gatherings

Taking the high road meaning I’m not going to confront them or complain about it to them or anyone else. But no way would I be inviting them to my home again. So yea, they would be dead to me unless they reached out first.

+1
I have a large extended family and I certainly don’t expect to be invited to every occasion, but we are informed of weddings, births and other significant events.

Maybe bride & groom didn't invite OP because she is dramatic and she is proving their point by flipping out when not receiving an invite.

You’re the one making up drama, not the OP.

How are we to know if OP is a reliable narrator, she says her son and the groom are close, then admits that the son didn't know the groom was engaged/getting married.

It is weird that she was the only cousin not invited and she hasn't been back in recent pages to answer follow up questions. I think there are "missing missing reasons" and OP didnt get the response she was looking for, so has stopped engaging.