Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.

Why is that part of being a good partner?

I don’t get it. My husband is unhappy with my weight. I have gained about 20% of what I weighed when we got married (160 lbs - 190 lbs ; 5’8”). I gained it during pregnancies, but my youngest is in fourth grade.

But we have a good sex life, and I know he finds me attractive. I am overall active (just ran four miles this morning and went on a long hike in the woods with DD yesterday). My health is good.

I find it uncomfortable to lose weight and maintain it. I don’t really want to live that way. I don’t get what the big deal is.

You sound so together!!

He is lucky.

Well, you both are talking to somebody who takes advice from a shock jock.

Shock jock? What thr hell are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, OP. At least try to pretend you care about her buy-in with this request.

"can I do anything to help"
"can I offer to change up some meals"
"can I purchase any home gym equipment"
"can I watch the kids/clean the house at a certain time each day to give you an hour to put yourself first"
etc. etc.

put yourself first" for him!

[Anonymous]

Do you watch too much porn? I think men whose sexual attraction doesn’t evolve over time get the majority of sexual arousal from the same women on porn - who don’t age or gain weight.

I don’t think you can change your wife and telling her you aren’t attracted to her will kill any desire she has for you.

As a woman who has gained 50 lbs in the past year, I can tell you that she knows she’s heavier than he previous weight. You don’t need to tell her. She need less stress, more time, and more self esteem. You can only help with giving her more time and taking items off her mental tasks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you watch too much porn? I think men whose sexual attraction doesn’t evolve over time get the majority of sexual arousal from the same women on porn - who don’t age or gain weight.

I don’t think you can change your wife and telling her you aren’t attracted to her will kill any desire she has for you.

As a woman who has gained 50 lbs in the past year, I can tell you that she knows she’s heavier than he previous weight. You don’t need to tell her. She need less stress, more time, and more self esteem. You can only help with giving her more time and taking items off her mental tasks.

THIS^^

She knows, and isn't happy about it. And, she's got too much on her plate, with work, parenting, sick kids, kid birthday parties, Dr appts, driving kids to various activities, etc. But she doesn't have enough help at home, has too much going on at work, and takes care of everyone but herself. If you want to support her, do more at home, amd give her time to take care of herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you watch too much porn? I think men whose sexual attraction doesn’t evolve over time get the majority of sexual arousal from the same women on porn - who don’t age or gain weight.

I don’t think you can change your wife and telling her you aren’t attracted to her will kill any desire she has for you.

As a woman who has gained 50 lbs in the past year, I can tell you that she knows she’s heavier than he previous weight. You don’t need to tell her. She need less stress, more time, and more self esteem. You can only help with giving her more time and taking items off her mental tasks.

THIS^^

She knows, and isn't happy about it. And, she's got too much on her plate, with work, parenting, sick kids, kid birthday parties, Dr appts, driving kids to various activities, etc. But she doesn't have enough help at home, has too much going on at work, and takes care of everyone but herself. If you want to support her, do more at home, amd give her time to take care of herself.

If the above posts are true, then it is very likely that DH is a huge part of the problem based on his crap OP. Maybe she is unhappy in the marriage and needs to get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

Yeah…I’ve seen a lot of European movies. Post-menopausal women do not look like their 25 year old counterparts, and they aren’t ashamed of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

I feel fat when my bmi is 23+

That’s because you have disordered thoughts around food and weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are correct. However, nobody actually looks thin with a bmi over 20. My own bmi is 20.6 and I look better when it’s around 19.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With your BMI over 20, you are also overweight. Stop feeling so smug about yourself.

Wrong.

If your BMI is 18.5 to <25, it falls within the healthy weight range. If your BMI is 25.0 to <30, it falls within the overweight range. If your BMI is 30.0 or higher, it falls within the obesity range.

Seek professional help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

I feel fat when my bmi is 23+

That’s because you have disordered thoughts around food and weight.

No, it's because I don't like how I look and feel at that weight. It affects how I move, my mood and my libido. Bmi of 22 is right for me. I look and feel great at that weight. Weight is a number and I have a range I'm comfortable at. I love food and eat well. Thanks for your concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

I feel fat when my bmi is 23+

That’s because you have disordered thoughts around food and weight.

No, it's because I don't like how I look and feel at that weight. It affects how I move, my mood and my libido. Bmi of 22 is right for me. I look and feel great at that weight. Weight is a number and I have a range I'm comfortable at. I love food and eat well. Thanks for your concern.

I don’t care about you at all. I am more concerned for people who are your orbit hearing you call yourself fat when you are clearly nowhere near anyone’s definition, medical or otherwise. You are screwing up your daughters, if you have any. You can tell yourself whatever you want but you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

I feel fat when my bmi is 23+

That’s because you have disordered thoughts around food and weight.

No, it's because I don't like how I look and feel at that weight. It affects how I move, my mood and my libido. Bmi of 22 is right for me. I look and feel great at that weight. Weight is a number and I have a range I'm comfortable at. I love food and eat well. Thanks for your concern.

I don’t care about you at all. I am more concerned for people who are your orbit hearing you call yourself fat when you are clearly nowhere near anyone’s definition, medical or otherwise. You are screwing up your daughters, if you have any. You can tell yourself whatever you want but you are.

I never called myself fat, I said I *feel* fat at 23+ bmi. Feeling fat, to me, means, I move slower, I don't sleep well, my body aches, I get tired from minimal exertion, I snore, I have zero sex drive and look doughy. A bmi of 22 is maybe 5-10 pounds and they make a world of difference to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

I feel fat when my bmi is 23+

That’s because you have disordered thoughts around food and weight.

No, it's because I don't like how I look and feel at that weight. It affects how I move, my mood and my libido. Bmi of 22 is right for me. I look and feel great at that weight. Weight is a number and I have a range I'm comfortable at. I love food and eat well. Thanks for your concern.

I don’t care about you at all. I am more concerned for people who are your orbit hearing you call yourself fat when you are clearly nowhere near anyone’s definition, medical or otherwise. You are screwing up your daughters, if you have any. You can tell yourself whatever you want but you are.

I never called myself fat, I said I *feel* fat at 23+ bmi. Feeling fat, to me, means, I move slower, I don't sleep well, my body aches, I get tired from minimal exertion, I snore, I have zero sex drive and look doughy. A bmi of 22 is maybe 5-10 pounds and they make a world of difference to me.

Ok. So this is how I feel when I’m losing weight or maintaining at a lower than comfortable weight. I can’t sleep, I fatigue easily, I feel sad and depressed, and I have no sex drive. Plus, I am always always thinking about food. I start to buy cookbooks and read them for fun and watch the food network and have conversations that center around food.

I guess I look better, but it doesn’t seem worth it to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

I feel fat when my bmi is 23+

That’s because you have disordered thoughts around food and weight.

No, it's because I don't like how I look and feel at that weight. It affects how I move, my mood and my libido. Bmi of 22 is right for me. I look and feel great at that weight. Weight is a number and I have a range I'm comfortable at. I love food and eat well. Thanks for your concern.

I don’t care about you at all. I am more concerned for people who are your orbit hearing you call yourself fat when you are clearly nowhere near anyone’s definition, medical or otherwise. You are screwing up your daughters, if you have any. You can tell yourself whatever you want but you are.

I never called myself fat, I said I *feel* fat at 23+ bmi. Feeling fat, to me, means, I move slower, I don't sleep well, my body aches, I get tired from minimal exertion, I snore, I have zero sex drive and look doughy. A bmi of 22 is maybe 5-10 pounds and they make a world of difference to me.

Ok. So this is how I feel when I’m losing weight or maintaining at a lower than comfortable weight. I can’t sleep, I fatigue easily, I feel sad and depressed, and I have no sex drive. Plus, I am always always thinking about food. I start to buy cookbooks and read them for fun and watch the food network and have conversations that center around food.

I guess I look better, but it doesn’t seem worth it to me.

I don't have that problem. For me to lose weight, I cut out the junk foods, liquid calories and mindless snacking. Because I never get more than 10 pounds over, I can lose it in a couple of months without feeling deprived. I don't think about food outside of meal planning and cooking.