Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight

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11/06/2023 08:55

Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight

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Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.

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Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible

I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.

What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves

I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive

Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.

I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.

But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.

I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.

My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.

I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.

No way that someone who could train to run for miles would let herself go like this. I call troll.

Call me whatever you like. It was a slow 20 year slide. Not like she fell off the cliff and gained 70 pounds all at ounce. She was always an "eater," she just did enough exercise to compensate. Then along came a daughter (who she helicopters and caters to), slowing metabolism after 35, an interest in things spiritual over things physical (not feeling like she had to prove herself anymore with physical challenges), increased challenges with her job, mental health issues (addiction problems run in her family, her addictions are food and weed), and perimenopause.

I myself prioritize staying relatively fit. My dad died in his 50's and I've made it my life's goal since then to exercise every day, and not go too crazy with food or anything else. Admittedly, she is the more involved parent, the harder working career person, and does more of the housework (not that I'm a total slouch at any of them, but she's just prioritizes all of them. to the detriment of not prioritizing her health.)