Well gosh it sounds so easy for you. Want a cookie? Oh no, you probably don’t eat them. |
I know. You just said that you don’t feel well when you gain 10 lbs. That’s why you don’t “let yourself” gain more than 10 lbs. I don’t feel well when I lose 10 lbs. That’s why I don’t “let myself” lose more than 10 lbs. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all just stayed at the weight where we felt the happiest, healthiest, and most comfortable in our bodies, and our partners could just be happy having a happy, loving spouse who was active and had a high libido? |
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This is why thin people have no idea why it’s so hard for heavier people to lose. Heavier people think about food all day long. It’s a constant chatter in your mind. And being thinner for these people makes them feel terrible. Low energy, brain fog, headaches, irritability. For most, it’s just worth feeling terrible every day to be thin. |
I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat |
So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable. OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right? |
If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y |
* and your partner. Particular when it’s a full bodied adult man without little kids or after work commitments. Period. |
Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you.... And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want. |
Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight . Which, of course, if a health risk long term |
Perhaps her weight gain is out of her hands??
Is she going through menopause now? Or is she on any prescription medication that may have weight gain as a common side effect? |
Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!) |
It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not. So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore. Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not. |
Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences. |
Wow. Do fat people really think thin people don’t think about food all day? That we are somehow immune to hunger? Crazy. |