Son is too embarrassed to return to campus to finish BA as a 5th year

[Anonymous]

That is interesting. I was a 5th year senior and loved the extra year! Nobody cares.

[Anonymous]

Transferring will mean more time since all credits won’t transfer so he will be spending more time in college.

Will he feel less embarrassed having his friends come over to his basement apartment in your home 10 years from now.

Time to man up. Buddy up with those like him who also didn’t graduate in 4 years. Remember being a 5th year senior in a freshman English class. Transferred from engineering to business so had a few extra requirements. No big deal. Worked at the University after graduation to use tuition credits to fund my MBA. Again no big deal. Lived in dorms for 3 years, in townhouse on campus for 2 then off campus for 2. Many people in similar situations from changing majors etc. About 5K undergrad at the time so not a large school.

[Anonymous]

Nobody cares. If it makes him feel better, he can tell everybody he switched majors really late and needed to pick up some credits.

[Anonymous]

Might take six years if he transfers. Most schools want the last 30 credits done at their school...

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised at reading some of these responses. I’m also surprised he cares so much. I took an extra year because I switched majors late and needed the classes. My husband at the time took time off, switched colleges and graduated in his mid 20s. Neither of us were embarrassed and share our stories with our children to show them there are many paths during college. Neither of us lived on campus after freshman year.

[Anonymous]

NOBODY CARES!

[Anonymous]

Tell him my son was on the 7 year plan and is now a cybersecurity analyst with a large corporation making great money.

He took more time to mature. And that’s OK.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the entire thread, and so figure me if I am repeating what others have already said above.

If OP's son were at a public university, this would be no big deal at all. My DS is currently a 3rd year student at a large public university, and they have 3 graduations per year - May, August, and December. It is truly no big deal when a person graduates. Depending on the major, it can be difficult to graduate in 4 years (especially engineering). There is absolutely no stigma to "not graduating in the spring of your 4th year with the rest of your class."

Like your son, my DS had shaky grades early on, and so it may take him 4.5 years to graduate. But it will be no big deal, as it is commonplace.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the entire thread either, but wanted to say there are a lot of 5th year undergrad students. Some are in 5 year programs, some needed that extra year for whatever reason, some have done it part-time.

And he'll be far from "old", there's plenty of red-shirted kindergartners now grown and still finishing bachelors degrees at 23.

[Anonymous]

There is no reason for this discussion to go on this long. It’s not unusual for a kid to take 5 years to graduate. He doesn’t need therapy. He needs firm direction to grow up and complete what he started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a fun table for the person who keeps demanding stats. I was one of the years with only 30 students not graduating within 6 years, and I can personally name 12 of them and give you the specific reasons why they didn’t return. They started their own companies, left to be LDS missionaries, were orthodox Jewish, got married and then transferred, and there was some Korean national service stuff:

https://oir.yale.edu/data-browser/student-data/degrees/yale-college-graduation-rates-w041

Of the ones who did not graduate in 4 years with our class but finish shortly after and counted as 6 year graduates, I think they were mostly study abroad kids. Yale used to not accept most study abroad programs for credit like some other PPs discussed, but some kids did it anyway and took on the extra semester or year.

You “think,” huh? Some data that is.

The bottom line is that dozens of Yale graduates took more than four years to graduate since the beginning of time. That’s not “one or two,” it’s not “4-5,” and it’s not 12. It’s a lot more than any number being thrown around by anyone talking out of their a$$.

This poster is really mad at the idea that some people go to schools with small classes and strong residential programs and might actually get to know their classmates and their stories. Sorry you went to a giant anonymous school where you were friendless and unknown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a fun table for the person who keeps demanding stats. I was one of the years with only 30 students not graduating within 6 years, and I can personally name 12 of them and give you the specific reasons why they didn’t return. They started their own companies, left to be LDS missionaries, were orthodox Jewish, got married and then transferred, and there was some Korean national service stuff:

https://oir.yale.edu/data-browser/student-data/degrees/yale-college-graduation-rates-w041

Of the ones who did not graduate in 4 years with our class but finish shortly after and counted as 6 year graduates, I think they were mostly study abroad kids. Yale used to not accept most study abroad programs for credit like some other PPs discussed, but some kids did it anyway and took on the extra semester or year.

You “think,” huh? Some data that is.

The bottom line is that dozens of Yale graduates took more than four years to graduate since the beginning of time. That’s not “one or two,” it’s not “4-5,” and it’s not 12. It’s a lot more than any number being thrown around by anyone talking out of their a$$.

This poster is really mad at the idea that some people go to schools with small classes and strong residential programs and might actually get to know their classmates and their stories. Sorry you went to a giant anonymous school where you were friendless and unknown.

Lol, yea, ok.

This poster is just tired of anecdotes being offered as fact when the facts are easily available, as this poster has shown time and again. It’s a common issue on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Make him get a job and support himself. It will make him appreciate school and the difference between jobs you can get with / without a degree. He needs to grow up a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shaky grades delayed his graduation. He was already deeply embarrassed when he couldn’t walk with all of his friends last spring. Now embarrassment has returned as he fears returning to campus. He feels old and thinks classmates will mock him behind his back and ask a million questions. This is a private university with an excellent graduation rate, so I empathize with him and know it is not possible to slide under the radar.

Trying to encourage him this will fade and the year will go by fast. But now he mentions wanting to transfer and graduate from somewhere else, anywhere else, to avoid this. Is that something we should entertain? Of course we worry about his mental health and success, but I don’t know if we should allow him to use our money to run away from a briefly embarrassing situation he created.

He is young, too concerned about what people think. Tell him that people aren't that interested in him. He should focus on the goal post not on audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a fun table for the person who keeps demanding stats. I was one of the years with only 30 students not graduating within 6 years, and I can personally name 12 of them and give you the specific reasons why they didn’t return. They started their own companies, left to be LDS missionaries, were orthodox Jewish, got married and then transferred, and there was some Korean national service stuff:

https://oir.yale.edu/data-browser/student-data/degrees/yale-college-graduation-rates-w041

Of the ones who did not graduate in 4 years with our class but finish shortly after and counted as 6 year graduates, I think they were mostly study abroad kids. Yale used to not accept most study abroad programs for credit like some other PPs discussed, but some kids did it anyway and took on the extra semester or year.

You “think,” huh? Some data that is.

The bottom line is that dozens of Yale graduates took more than four years to graduate since the beginning of time. That’s not “one or two,” it’s not “4-5,” and it’s not 12. It’s a lot more than any number being thrown around by anyone talking out of their a$$.

This poster is really mad at the idea that some people go to schools with small classes and strong residential programs and might actually get to know their classmates and their stories. Sorry you went to a giant anonymous school where you were friendless and unknown.

+1