Shaky grades delayed his graduation. He was already deeply embarrassed when he couldn’t walk with all of his friends last spring. Now embarrassment has returned as he fears returning to campus. He feels old and thinks classmates will mock him behind his back and ask a million questions. This is a private university with an excellent graduation rate, so I empathize with him and know it is not possible to slide under the radar.
Trying to encourage him this will fade and the year will go by fast. But now he mentions wanting to transfer and graduate from somewhere else, anywhere else, to avoid this. Is that something we should entertain? Of course we worry about his mental health and success, but I don’t know if we should allow him to use our money to run away from a briefly embarrassing situation he created. |
Tell him to man up and try it for a semester. There are plenty of people that take an extra semester or 5th year to graduate, even at "excellent" universities. |
There is nothing new or embarrassing about needing a 5th year to finish. I happened to change my major in my junior year and I wasn't going to have enough credits in mandatory areas for me to graduate with the degree. So I took a 5th year so that I could complete the required engineering credits needed to graduate with that degree.
I know someone else who ended up failing a required course for graduation and had to retake it. He retook it and aced the course and ended up graduating with honors, but a semester late (he also ended up taking two courses he had always wanted to take, but never had the time to take, so he actually enjoyed his extra semester). There are a lot of reasons why people end up with a 5th year semester or full year, so no reason to be embarassed. |
He thinks it would be preferable to just walk away from his degree?
Tons of people do 5 years. It is absolutely ridiculous that he thinks he is now “too old” to be on campus. |
This is the type of thing that can be character building. You learn not to worry about what other people say and think, and do what's needed for your own goals. This is a great way for him to find out who the genuinely kind people are at his school. |
I know a ton of very smart kids who took time off during Covid or are just graduating later. No need to be embarrassed. And I’m not even sure that it’s possible to transfer after the number of credits he likely has. If he really doesn’t want to go back to campus is study abroad a possibility? |
Unless his college is exceptionally tiny, no one is paying attention to how many years someone has or hasn't been in school. This is a dumb excuse. |
I'd be beyond p.o'd if my kid didn't finish his degree there. |
More embarrassing is stopping after four years with NO degree. As others have said, not a big deal. |
Worth knowing what caused the shaky grades. Is he in over his head or were his priorities off? to state the obvious if he didn't graduate it means he didn't pass the classes. And not just one or two but enough to have to stay a whole year
If in over his head I might consider letting my kid finish elsewhere but not at a school that will cost more. if priorities are off he might need a life coach/mentor/therapist to help him get on track. Kids often need to hear tough talk from adults other than their parents. |
How many students are at his current LAC ? |
He’s gonna have trouble getting his degree from any other school. Most won’t allow him to graduate with less than 60 credits from their school. His current school is also unlikely to let him take a year elsewhere and transfer the credits to his current school and graduate from there. Most schools require you to take your last semester if not the last year at the home institution, especially private schools.
As other posters have said, it is not a typical for an undergraduate to take five years. Also, with all of his friends graduating, he will have more time to buckle down and do what he needs to do. And a couple years down the road, no one will even remember it. If I were him, I would have a couple of sessions with a therapist to sort all this out. In the scheme of things this is not a big deal in the slightest. |
Like many kids, he thinks everyone is thinking about him, when actually nobody is. Just tell him to suck it up and get on with it.
I graduated in six years because I changed majors and flunked some courses. Oh the embarrassment! But nobody said anything and I'm over it now. |
A lot of kids took a gap year or semester during Covid and are taking longer to graduate. I know multiple kids who did it during college because they didn't want to deal with remote learning from a solitary dorm room. So I'm sure he will have plenty of company in a 5th year. |
Graduation rates are typically reported for 6 years--so even schools with "excellent" graduation rates have a lot of students doing an extra year--it can be because of health issues or an accident, study abroad, violations, transfers, gap semesters, grades, double major requirements etc. etc. He will NOT be the only one and many people won't really have kept track of what year anyone is in. The people in his class who were freshman with him are likely the only ones who really remember that they are in the same year.
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