Son is too embarrassed to return to campus to finish BA as a 5th year

[Anonymous]

Sooooo common, tell him to get a job bartending at the hip college bar and he will be fine.

[Anonymous]

His extreme thinking indicates anxiety and depression. He should attend therapy and potentially start an SSRI when he returns to campus. Make this a condition of continuing to pay for college. This is how you help his mental health. Not by having him avoid discomfort.

[Anonymous]

This is such a non-issue but if he thinks it to be then really counseling is needed as sounds like social anxiety.

Former college advisor.

[Anonymous]

I thought 5 years was close to becoming the norm.

Are the graduation rates published in USN&WR and similar college ranking sites still based on 4 years?

[Anonymous]

For me, this kind of hypersensitivity to shame was a symptom of OCD. Could he be struggling with something like that?

[Anonymous]

You don't need to drug everyone who is worried about something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people take more than 4 years to graduate. There is no shame in it. Also remind him there will be a new crop of women entering via admission and transfer that will need guidance from someone familiar with the university.

Ah, it's the dirty old man poster. How have you been?

Spot on. Very strange comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to drug everyone who is worried about something.

I didn't say anything about drugs.

[Anonymous]

I think others have said this, but it's not really possible to transfer and finish school in a year. Schools have a minimum number of credits you have to earn there in order to graduate.

[Anonymous]

It took me 5 years to graduate from Tufts. I did a study abroad program that Tufts ended up not approving - I had the credits but not the time on an approved campus. I was annoyed and a little sheepish, but no one ever made me feel weird about it. I lived off campus in a real apartment, took classes I would never have taken for my major, and worked. It was actually a really nice year.

I hope your son can find a way to embrace the longer road.

[Anonymous]

If it's a small college where students usually graduate in four years, his concerns may be valid. But on the whole, I don't think most students will make fun of him, but may be puzzled.

[Anonymous]

He'll be more embarrassed if he ends up living in your basement for the next 10 years. He needs to get over it - people are going to think and say what they want and it should not matter at all to him. He needs to learn to not give a F about other people and focus on himself and HIS goals!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought 5 years was close to becoming the norm.

Are the graduation rates published in USN&WR and similar college ranking sites still based on 4 years?

No. US News Best Colleges graduation rates are based on 6 year graduation results.

OP: This (that US News uses 6 year graduation rates) may help your son to better accept his situation. I know lots of students who had a great deal of difficulty leaving their university after 4 years because they enjoyed the experience so much. Not uncommon for seniors and recent college grads to have a fear of entering the real world workforce.

OP: Encourage your son to enjoy his last year of college. He'll probably meet the love of his life and then accept that it was meant to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think others have said this, but it's not really possible to transfer and finish school in a year. Schools have a minimum number of credits you have to earn there in order to graduate.

Its possible. You double up on credits and do 18 vs. 15 or more OR summer school. Somehow others seem to do it.

[Anonymous]

I wish you could impress upon him that 5-7 years from now he would not know those kids if he tripped over them!

Yes he will benefit from a degree from a good school.