My kid talks to adults too much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fair to say that most adults - most, not all - don’t want to spend a lot of time talking with a stranger’s kid. The polite thing for you to do would be to nip this in the bud every time. Don’t let him do it, even if the adult seems interested. Just don’t.

Surely there are other avenues for discussing his interests. Sign him up for clubs. Explore on line opportunities for interactions (safe ones, of course). Just don’t tell yourself that he’s different, smarter, more enjoyable, or whatever else you think he might be and that this justifies your allowing him to talk other adults’ ears off. You may think he’s all of these things, and he very well may be. But to the vast majority of the stranger adults he deals with, after a minute or two he’s just another annoying kid.

I did this with my bright, chatty kid until I realized I got a lot of pushback from most of the adults he was talking to. At that point, I realized i became the odd one making the situation impolite.

Now I don't interfere. Feeling the sting of rejection is one way of learning when is the appropriate time to talk. As he’s getting older (middle school), he’s better.

He’s older. He’s in middle school different situation. He now gets it.

The adults around him before were just being polite.

DP. Most adults can figure out how to end a conversation they aren’t interested in. It’s OK. I do sometimes intervene if it’s something like a plane where they literally cannot walk away. But I generally don’t try to take responsibility for other adult’s decisions.

Not good parenting.

I’ll bet if those same adults dismissed your kid in a way you didn’t appreciate you’d be posting here about how rude adults are to your kid.

Your kid is not the Christ Child. The world does not revolve around him. Your job is to mold him and construct and enforce boundaries until he’s older. It’s not to leave it up to other adults - strangers, no less - to construct them for you.

Me stepping in to protect him from a transiently awkward moment is the opposite of good parenting. It’s also not my job to prevent the world from being momentarily inconvenienced or annoyed.

[Anonymous]

get him a chatgpt account

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fair to say that most adults - most, not all - don’t want to spend a lot of time talking with a stranger’s kid. The polite thing for you to do would be to nip this in the bud every time. Don’t let him do it, even if the adult seems interested. Just don’t.

Surely there are other avenues for discussing his interests. Sign him up for clubs. Explore on line opportunities for interactions (safe ones, of course). Just don’t tell yourself that he’s different, smarter, more enjoyable, or whatever else you think he might be and that this justifies your allowing him to talk other adults’ ears off. You may think he’s all of these things, and he very well may be. But to the vast majority of the stranger adults he deals with, after a minute or two he’s just another annoying kid.

I did this with my bright, chatty kid until I realized I got a lot of pushback from most of the adults he was talking to. At that point, I realized i became the odd one making the situation impolite.

Now I don't interfere. Feeling the sting of rejection is one way of learning when is the appropriate time to talk. As he’s getting older (middle school), he’s better.

He’s older. He’s in middle school different situation. He now gets it.

The adults around him before were just being polite.

DP. Most adults can figure out how to end a conversation they aren’t interested in. It’s OK. I do sometimes intervene if it’s something like a plane where they literally cannot walk away. But I generally don’t try to take responsibility for other adult’s decisions.

Not good parenting.

I’ll bet if those same adults dismissed your kid in a way you didn’t appreciate you’d be posting here about how rude adults are to your kid.

Your kid is not the Christ Child. The world does not revolve around him. Your job is to mold him and construct and enforce boundaries until he’s older. It’s not to leave it up to other adults - strangers, no less - to construct them for you.

Me stepping in to protect him from a transiently awkward moment is the opposite of good parenting. It’s also not my job to prevent the world from being momentarily inconvenienced or annoyed.

I think op posted to get a bunch of “he sounds so smart and precocious !” “I’d love to talk to him” “sounds like he couldn’t be annoying anyone!”

No one is going to make you shush him, op! If he’s freakishly riveting to adults well then great and if not he’ll eventually get enough feedback about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:get him a chatgpt account

Hahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

I'm a pilot. If this happened to me I'd be *very* annoyed. It's not cute, and I definitely have no interest in discussing anything like this with a child whose parent thinks it's cute that he knows so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kid is on the spectrum. Not sure why OP insists he’s not. Or he’s super annoying.

Agree. Autistic or very annoying know it all kid. OP, have you actually had him tested for autism??

Why is everyone jumping to autism? Because the kid isn't reading chapter books and knows what a schooler is? Man.

Becuase most of us know someone with Asperger's, and this is how they act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

I'm a pilot. If this happened to me I'd be *very* annoyed. It's not cute, and I definitely have no interest in discussing anything like this with a child whose parent thinks it's cute that he knows so much.

OP knows it's not cute.

Also, I'm a pilot and I'm smart enough to realize we're in a world of hurt right now, and getting the younger generations interested is the only thing that'll save our industry. Perhaps you need to lighten up (or smarten up) and learn to mentor for ten minutes. Would it kill you to tell a kid the ceilings are too low for an RNAV today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kid is on the spectrum. Not sure why OP insists he’s not. Or he’s super annoying.

Agree. Autistic or very annoying know it all kid. OP, have you actually had him tested for autism??

Why is everyone jumping to autism? Because the kid isn't reading chapter books and knows what a schooler is? Man.

Because the alternative is that this kid is smart, outgoing, and confident.

Why is that such a bad alterative? This kids exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, he reads well above his grade level and have some niche interests that he'll happily discuss with adults all day long. No Asperger's or anything, just a kid who loves to read and loves discussing what he's learned with people who get it, which most of his peers do not. E.g., last month we hired a fishing charter, and he spent most of the time talking to the captain about barques vs. brigantines. Or he'll chat up the poor deadheading pilot next to him on the plane about what kind of approach he thinks we might be flying in this weather. We've had long discussions about how adults usually want quiet and he needs to be very aware for hints they're done talking, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. "But my friends don't know anything about things like this." He will stop talking to someone who appears to be done, but next time he runs across an adult who seems like they might know something about something he's into, he strikes up a conversation again. He's only 10, and adults hate it. Any advice?

I'm a pilot. If this happened to me I'd be *very* annoyed. It's not cute, and I definitely have no interest in discussing anything like this with a child whose parent thinks it's cute that he knows so much.

You are allowed to say
"It was a pleasure to meet you, but now I need to rest before my next flight." If you are getting "very annoyed" by a consenusal conversation with a child, you may needs bit of social skills training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s just some niche interests, I would try to get him involved in classes/groups/events about those interests. If it’s that he likes to talk to adults about the most interesting thing he just read on any topic, I would just make sure he understands conversational give and take, and extricate him after a couple of minutes. I also think it’s somewhat situational even with people who might share the interest. If his interests were comics, for instance, then the guy at the comic book store probably wouldn’t mind talking longer during a slow time. If it’s a tour group leader, that might have to be pretty limited because they have to pay attention to the whole group.

I wasn't clear. It's when the tour group leader asks certain questions. He looks around, and when no adult answers, he does. It's kind of cringey, because he comes off as being too smart.

This is why our country is collapsing. Answering a question is cringey. Being smart is cringey. He should keep us head down in his phone and his eyes glued on Kim Kardashian's rump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, he’s you don’t want him talking to any adults because you’d rather he think no one wants to talk to him?

No, I'd rather him not bother people who don't want to talk to kids. Also, a few friends have commented on his topics of conversation, and I don't want them thinking he's weird. He can talk Minecraft with his peers, and I'd much prefer he do that.

You should deal with your social anxiety first before crushing the poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kid is on the spectrum. Not sure why OP insists he’s not. Or he’s super annoying.

Agree. Autistic or very annoying know it all kid. OP, have you actually had him tested for autism??

Why is everyone jumping to autism? Because the kid isn't reading chapter books and knows what a schooler is? Man.

Because the alternative is that this kid is smart, outgoing, and confident.

Why is that such a bad alterative? This kids exist.

Ask the people who are calling him autistic…they can’t admit kids like that exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your child been homeschooled? I homeschooled my kids for a year pre-COVID when they were in 5th and 7th. It drive my kids bonkers that so many homeschooled kids were like this. We would go to activities such as to a museum where there was a guide. So many kids wanted to talk over the guide, interrupt the guide, or wanted to comment on what the guide was saying.

Many of the parents never corrected their kids because I got the sense they were proud that they thought their kids were so clever when it was so obvious the guides were getting annoyed and it was taking too long for the guide to say their spiel.

Yes! So many homeschooled kids are like this.

I think it is because they don't have to wait to get called on to answer, they can engage their parent or tutor one on one for hours on the subjects that interests them. I disliked waiting around for my kids that year that I homeschooled them because inevitably I would be looking at something in the museum or asking the guide a quick question and a homeschooled kid would interrupt and want to talk and talk and talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your child been homeschooled? I homeschooled my kids for a year pre-COVID when they were in 5th and 7th. It drive my kids bonkers that so many homeschooled kids were like this. We would go to activities such as to a museum where there was a guide. So many kids wanted to talk over the guide, interrupt the guide, or wanted to comment on what the guide was saying.

Many of the parents never corrected their kids because I got the sense they were proud that they thought their kids were so clever when it was so obvious the guides were getting annoyed and it was taking too long for the guide to say their spiel.

Yes! So many homeschooled kids are like this.

I think it is because they don't have to wait to get called on to answer, they can engage their parent or tutor one on one for hours on the subjects that interests them. I disliked waiting around for my kids that year that I homeschooled them because inevitably I would be looking at something in the museum or asking the guide a quick question and a homeschooled kid would interrupt and want to talk and talk and talk.

OP's kid isn't interrupting...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your child been homeschooled? I homeschooled my kids for a year pre-COVID when they were in 5th and 7th. It drive my kids bonkers that so many homeschooled kids were like this. We would go to activities such as to a museum where there was a guide. So many kids wanted to talk over the guide, interrupt the guide, or wanted to comment on what the guide was saying.

Many of the parents never corrected their kids because I got the sense they were proud that they thought their kids were so clever when it was so obvious the guides were getting annoyed and it was taking too long for the guide to say their spiel.

Yes! So many homeschooled kids are like this.

I think it is because they don't have to wait to get called on to answer, they can engage their parent or tutor one on one for hours on the subjects that interests them. I disliked waiting around for my kids that year that I homeschooled them because inevitably I would be looking at something in the museum or asking the guide a quick question and a homeschooled kid would interrupt and want to talk and talk and talk.

OP's kid isn't interrupting...

When a deadhead pilot wants to sleep, yeah he is interrupting his sleep. It’s rude and the kid comes off as self-entitled. If OP has ever never watched Derry Girls then she should look up uncle Colm clips.