Boyfriend blows up every time the house is messy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There should be a balance in the house like yin yang with order and chaos. Both should be allowed to exist. If it's never orderly things become too chaotic. If it's always orderly it becomes too stale.

+1

Very wise assessment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it sounds like you are genuinely trying to parse apart your role/responsibility here, which is commendable.

My 2 cents:

1) Responsible adults clean the kitchen before going to bed and clean makeup from the counter before exiting the bathroom. Your life will be better if you make these adjustments

2) Has your boyfriend tried discussing this with you civilly before blowing up and have you dismissed him/ got defensive? Consider this carefully.

3) Break up with this guy (being upset for hours about a dirty kitchen doesn’t bode well) but keep the above in mind for your own long term growth and being

I am a responsible adult. I do the dishes after work (work at home)... so that is breakfast and lunch dishes. After dinner I do most of the dishes but a few might stay in the sink until the morning. If anything is eaten after dinner... ice cream or something, those dishes get cleaned up in the am.

There is not rule that "responsible adults" have a clean kitchen eveyr night before bed.

I'm also not putting my makeup away every f'ing day, there is some makeup that will stay on the counter in perpetuity. I put it away 1x every 2 weeks so the cleaners can wipe down the sinks.

I don't need to make any adjustments to have a better life. Actually... go to bed with some dishes in the sink, finish them while you make coffee, YOUR life will be better when you stop making ridiculous rules.

Girl, you've revealed yourself, and it's not pretty. You are a slob, and most people will find you disgusting.

DP. No, she's not a slob. You do realize she's talking about leaving her own makeup (in containers, not poured out in lakes on the countertop) on her own bathroom counter, don't you? I guess you'd lose your mind over how I keep my facial cleaning and skin care products on my counter in my bathroom that no one else uses. The hell if I'm putting away stuff I use twice every day. And enjoy your life of constant dishwashing. I picture you waking up in the night in a cold sweat of anxiety when you realize a spoon got left --gasp!--in the sink.

DP but you'd be surprised how many men view leaving dishes in the sink or clothes in the floor is slob behavior. Like, you can't open a drawer two inches below the bathroom counter and put your makeup away? That's straight up pig behavior 🐷

You’d be surprised how many women view leaving dirty dishes in the sink as slob behavior. Me, for one. But then, I grew up in a house of slobs. And roaches. So many roaches. I will *never* be there again.