Carolyn Hax - can someone be a good person if they don't love dogs? WTF

[Anonymous]

I essentially like all dogs. I'm an animal lover and just care about animals -- I wish them all well and am even forgiving of animals who are jerks because animals have different drives and priorities so them being a jerk to me isn't even really a character flaw. They are probably afraid or suspicious of me for some reason, and since animals are wired to worry about their safety at all times, it's normal and appropriate for them to be skeptical of anyone they seem unsure about, even if it's just because they smell like another animal or are very tall or something.

I can't stand a lot of dog owners. They are entitled jerks and they don't have any of the excuses that an actual dog has. My neighborhood is full of dog owners who take their dogs to parks where they aren't allowed, who take their dogs off leash regularly when they aren't supposed to. I have heard dog owners complain about restaurants where dogs aren't allowed on the patio, and make the argument that this is discriminatory. And yes, people like the LW who are suspicious of someone because they don't fawn all over their dog. It's not like he's afraid of the dog or doesn't want to be around it, it's just indifferent, and this is a character flaw?

I have friends with dogs who are not like this, but I also frequently encounter dog owners who are entitled, rude, don't properly train or control their dogs, take unruly dogs to crowded areas and then get mad at other people for being uncomfortable (I actually got yelled at by a dog owner at a park once for moving my child away from her dog who was unleashed and barking and lunging at people -- she was angry that I wasn't helping her socialize her dog).

It should honestly be harder to adopt dogs because I'd say the majority of dog owners I encounter should not have one. I'd be in favor of creating dog sanctuaries for more dogs where they would all be spayed/neutered and then could just run around and eat and play with each other and get basic medical care, rather than letting all these selfish morons adopt them. So many idiots adopted dogs during the pandemic and the situation sucks for everyone involved, including those poor dogs.

[Anonymous]

Definitely a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Man here and I'm not really into dogs. I like them just fine but I don't want a dog slobbering all over me which they ALWAYS do. I don't want to smell like dog or have my clothes smell like dog after a night with her, which always happens. More of a cat person. They are clean, neat, low-maintenance, and mostly behaved.

[Anonymous]

She probably has a gross pit Bull/mix and the guy is afraid it’s going to turn on him/them at any moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find that dog people are not my cup of tea. And I find cat people to be witty and interesting and people I want to hang with. But this is just a silly stereotype.

Cat people are non commuttak and don’t take as good care of others. They have cats because cats are lower maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Some people value their fancy interior decor more than animal companionship or cuteness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people value their fancy interior decor more than animal companionship or cuteness.

I value clean homes and furniture. Homes with dogs and cats are gross. Slobber, feces, hair, dander...yuck!!!

I much rather create a yard that can provide sanctuary to wildlife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flag in my book

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that dog people are not my cup of tea. And I find cat people to be witty and interesting and people I want to hang with. But this is just a silly stereotype.

Cat people are non commuttak and don’t take as good care of others. They have cats because cats are lower maintenance.

No, I actually have more time and energy to take good care of the humans in my life because my cats demand much less of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so dumb. The LW isn't even talking about someone who dislikes dogs. She's mad that he's indifferent to her dog. Like it upsets her that he's not falling all over himself about how great her dog is. That's ridiculous.

I like animals and have had pets my whole life (just a cat now, I live in an apartment and have a kid and a dog doesn't work for us right now) but sometimes I'm indifferent to other people's pets. They are like humans -- some have personalities that I just click with and some don't. I don't dislike them, but I don't go seeking them out either. I have some friends who have dogs they've never really trained not to jump up on people, which I find annoying, so I avoid those dogs a bit because I don't like being jumped on. I actually was attacked by a poorly socialized dog many years ago so I am wary about dogs that jump or just aren't well trained because I've seen what happens when a dog like this feels cornered or threatened and it can be scary.

Anyway, the LW sounds like she's being narcissistic and thinks this guy's feelings about her dog are somehow a reflection of his feelings about her. But I also think probably they aren't a good fit because she obviously seems to be looking for someone who is really into her dog, and this guy isn't. But that doesn't make him a BAD PERSON. FFS.

This! I grew up with pets, and I loved the dogs we had growing up. But I'm overall indifferent to other people's pets, with a few exceptions. I don't really like being around poorly trained dogs. I don't hate them or anything, I just don't enjoy being barked at, jumped on, sniffed, lunged at, etc. And frankly, very few people properly train their dogs. There are some dogs I enjoy being around. I prefer certain breeds and temperaments. But even when I like a dog, I'm unlikely to be fawning all over it. The LW in the CH column isn't mad that her boyfriend is cruel to her dog or even hates dogs in general. She's mad that he's not fawning all over her dog, and instead of just saying, "Well, maybe we're not compatible because not loving all dogs in a demonstrative manner is a deal breaker for me," she has to make it into a character flaw.

Which is a thing that some dog owners do. It can't be that you're just not as into dogs as they are, or that you just don't really click with their dog, or even that their dog is poorly trained and so badly behaved, it must be that YOU are a BAD PERSON. It's so odd.

[Anonymous]

I am indifferent to animals and actively do not want to have any pets. My plate is full and I don't wish to add to it. Kids occasionally whine for a dog but have been firmly told that in this family we don't do pets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Anyone who does "not like" animals or children is not a good person

Yet another poster here putting animals and human children on the same footing. I really wonder if these PPs who do this actually have children of their own whom they value the same as they value their dogs. Before someone comes to say, of course not -- look at some of these similar posts. Though mostly I think these PPs must not have actual children of their own or they wouldn't make such an insane false equivalency. I suspect they're the "pet parent" folks who believe their animals ARE human children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Anyone who does "not like" animals or children is not a good person

What if you like one but not the other?

[Anonymous]

9 pages in just a few hours. Rather than being a stupid question it's the best type of Carolyn Hax question - so many opinions and you all think you are right!!!

LOL. Some like dogs, some don't, and I don't care either way about what you choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm very much a dog person. I love dogs. But lots of people don't because they are loud and dirty and sometimes scary. It's not a character flaw.

On the other hand, if someone says they hate cats, I don't trust them. People frequently hate cats because they are annoyed that they can't control cats. They don't like that cats are independent and show affection on the cat's schedule. People who don't like cats are either controlling or super needy or both.

Wow, PP. You come across as reasonable and able to see maturely in shades of grey....until you don't. Do you even see that you're just as bad in your way as the other posters, the "don't love dogs = bad person" posters, are in their way?

I love cats though I can't have any at this time. And you're as wrong to judge that people who dislike cats are "bad people" as other PPs are wrong to judge people who dislike dogs as "bad people." How can you be so contradictory as to say you understand why people might not love dogs like you do, then turn around and make the same biased, arrogant assumption about non-cat people as others make about non-dog people? Can you see the hypocrisy in your two positions?

Please consider that not all those who dislike, or simply shy away from, cats are "controlling or super needy or both." Unless you actually know those people in every context, you're making huge assumptions about strangers. Don't make us cat lovers out to be as rigid and downright silly as some of these "my dog is god" posters.