Carolyn Hax - can someone be a good person if they don't love dogs? WTF

[Anonymous]

This week's Carolyn Hx Reader question is ridiculous.

Dear Carolyn: Do you think someone can truly be a good person if they don't love dogs? I have a boyfriend whom I could really see a future with — except that he doesn't love dogs. I have such a problem with that.
He has never had a dog, says he has never wanted one, and, when he is around my dog, seems mostly indifferent. On the other hand, he's smart and funny and successful and kind. But it hurts me that he and I will go out and have a wonderful time together, and then we'll return to my house and I just want to hug my dog but my boyfriend is standing back like he thinks my dog is going to bite him or something. It just feels like it is a character red flag not to love dogs, isn't it?
— Must Love Dogs

There can be a lot of reasons that someone isn't a dog person - I didn't grow up with dogs, I'm not comfortable around them, I was bit by a dog once for no reason and the dog's owner refused to believe I didn't do something to provoke her precious little muffin (I literally held out my hadn't for the dog to sniff and dog chomped on me). But that doesn't make me any less lovable. It's fine for the OP to dump her boyfriend because he doesn't love her dog, but to say that he must be a bad person because he doesn't love her dog is narcissistic and if I were the BF, I'd think THAT was a red flag!!

[Anonymous]

I like small, sweet natured, old dogs. They are few and far between. I am a nature lover but I feel that cats and dogs are not good for the environment.

[Anonymous]

I love dogs. I hate dog "moms".

[Anonymous]

This is a ridiculous question.

[Anonymous]

To me it is a character flaw, especially if they do not like animals or pets in general. Ask a dog about the character of a person, and you will get your answer.

[Anonymous]

My husband actively dislikes dogs. Finds them needy, smelly, and drooly, and wants no part of them, though he’s not afraid of them at all. I do find it quite odd, and a bit sad, as I grew up with dogs (he didn’t) and would love one. I find the question to Carolyn Hax ridiculous, as of course you can be a great person without liking dogs. My DH is an excellent spouse, is extremely loving toward cats, and loves kids too, even really challenging ones.

I will say I find it funny that dogs adore DH, and I hold out a tiny bit of hope that one will somehow break through his prejudice one day.

[Anonymous]

I find that dog people are not my cup of tea. And I find cat people to be witty and interesting and people I want to hang with. But this is just a silly stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love dogs. I hate dog "moms".

It’s always white chicks that are over the top dog moms

[Anonymous]

One of the largest gaps when it comes to interracial dating is on the topic of dogs.

I’m surprised when I run into a white person who is anti dog.

[Anonymous]

I love dogs. I had one growing up, but cannot have one now because my spouse is seriously allergic to pet dander (not the hair, but the skin cells, so even hypoallergenic dogs are out).

That said, I agree with OP that I personally feel that someone like the letter writer who is so over-the-top a dog person, is more of a red flag than someone who merely doesn't like them (not to include those who are rabidly or violently anti-dog).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the largest gaps when it comes to interracial dating is on the topic of dogs.

I’m surprised when I run into a white person who is anti dog.

There are many of us white people who are indifferent towards dogs or pets, but know we shouldn't say anything to those obsessed because then we will be "bad" people.

My family couldn't afford pets and everything we actually needed too, including college, so no pets it was.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, that’s weird, I love dogs and cats but would never judge someone who is not a dog lover (as long as they are not animals’ haters because that would probably mean something else is wrong with them in terms of empathy level).

I would judge someone who actively dislikes kids, because it shows lack of patience, tolerance and will make me suspect a level of self centeredness that I dont want to deal with.

But overall, in both cases, the key question is whether it would be a deal breaker for future life. If your life revolves around pets or you really want kids, don’t stay involved with someone who doesn’t share your goals. It won’t end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the largest gaps when it comes to interracial dating is on the topic of dogs.

I’m surprised when I run into a white person who is anti dog.

There are many of us white people who are indifferent towards dogs or pets, but know we shouldn't say anything to those obsessed because then we will be "bad" people.

My family couldn't afford pets and everything we actually needed too, including college, so no pets it was.

💯

[Anonymous]

Wow. That’s something. I could see it being a mismatch if he absolutely refused to live with a dog and she wanted one, but I don’t get being mad that he’s indifferent to dogs in general.

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty indifferent to dogs and don’t want one as a pet. My son HATES dogs since leashless dogs at local parks jumped on him when he was a toddler (thanks dog parents for letting your animals run free!). It will probably screw up his dating life LOL