Carolyn Hax - can someone be a good person if they don't love dogs? WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty indifferent to dogs and don’t want one as a pet. My son HATES dogs since leashless dogs at local parks jumped on him when he was a toddler (thanks dog parents for letting your animals run free!). It will probably screw up his dating life LOL

He can date poc women. Islamic and Hindu women are not dog enthusiasts. Most black women aren’t either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love dogs. I hate dog "moms".

It’s always white chicks that are over the top dog moms

Start the misogyny and the racism. Why is this acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Can someone please please link to this? I Googled it and didn't find. My DH doesn't like dogs (he doesnt hate them or act weird around them, just doesn't love them or want one himself). He keeps this secret because he thinks people will think he's a bad person. I always thought this was ridiculous and nobody thinks that, but this may prove him right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me it is a character flaw, especially if they do not like animals or pets in general. Ask a dog about the character of a person, and you will get your answer.

I feel the same way

[Anonymous]

I used to think that I only loved my dog and no others, but then I realized that I only disliked untrained dogs.

I've found that people who dislike all cats and dogs either have had a bad experience with them, or have a controlling nature. I don't think that people can be divided into "dog people" and "cat people."

I think that the letter writer has a few issues.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

[Anonymous]

How did Carolyn answer?

I love animals and my DH doesn’t, but he appreciates that I do. Regardless, what an idiotic question. The writer is the red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did Carolyn answer?

I love animals and my DH doesn’t, but he appreciates that I do. Regardless, what an idiotic question. The writer is the red flag.

She hasn't answered. It's posted as this week's "reader question." New feature where Hax posts a letter and then Post readers can go on the site and give their own answers, some of which get published in Hax's column. So basically, letting readers do Hax's job....She's an intense dog nut herself but I can't imagine that even she would equate "does not love dogs" with "bad person." What an incredibly immature letter that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love dogs. I hate dog "moms".

It’s always white chicks that are over the top dog moms

Start the misogyny and the racism. Why is this acceptable?

Someone clearly doesn’t know many Black people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

What if the issue is that the person has an allergy or other medical issue precluding dogs in the household? I suspect the dog lovers will insist "you can just take shots!" And I"m sure some of them do, themselves. But asking someone who isn't on board with a dog in the first place to take meds or shots the rest of his or her life for something that is bluntly, an option, a choice that's not their own choice -- that's putting the animal ahead of the human. I just find the whole "I could never be with someone who doesn't love dogs" to be a very un-nuanced and self-centered way of thinking. Rigid, and not seeing individuals for themselves but staking everything on one like or dislike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty indifferent to dogs and don’t want one as a pet. My son HATES dogs since leashless dogs at local parks jumped on him when he was a toddler (thanks dog parents for letting your animals run free!). It will probably screw up his dating life LOL

He can date poc women. Islamic and Hindu women are not dog enthusiasts. Most black women aren’t either.

This is beyond stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love dogs. I hate dog "moms".

It’s always white chicks that are over the top dog moms

Start the misogyny and the racism. Why is this acceptable?

Someone clearly doesn’t know many Black people.

?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please please link to this? I Googled it and didn't find. My DH doesn't like dogs (he doesnt hate them or act weird around them, just doesn't love them or want one himself). He keeps this secret because he thinks people will think he's a bad person. I always thought this was ridiculous and nobody thinks that, but this may prove him right!

I'm like your DH though I don't see why, or how, he "keeps this secret." Does he actively try to pretend he DOES like dogs? Does he fawn over your friends' dogs? Lie about it, like, "Oh I want a dog so much but we just can't have one, Dear Child is allergic, sadly!" How does this even come up? It's not as if he runs and screams when he sees a dog, or kicks at people's dogs--right? I think he's perfectly fine, and should stop faking and just say, "Yeah, your Fido's nice and well trained. I woudln't have a dog, myself, but you're great with Fido." That's all. No sensible adult is going to think he's a bad person for that; he's complimenting THEM on their bond with their dog.

I respect dogs greatly. When trained they can do truly remarkable things that actually benefit humanity! But I do not automatically gush over every dog everywhere, I have zero desire ever to own one, and fully admit to being concerned when dogs run loose at the park or in the neighborhood. I'm fond of my friend's one older, small dog when we go visit that friend, and very grateful that the same friend takes her second, huge, territorial dog to the doggy day care whenever we visit becasue she's a smart owner who knows her dog's limits and stressors. I wish all dog owners were like her.

Tell your DH to stop faking. He doesn't owe anyone any gushy love for their dogs. He's a good person who just doesn't care ever to own a dog himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

What if the issue is that the person has an allergy or other medical issue precluding dogs in the household? I suspect the dog lovers will insist "you can just take shots!" And I"m sure some of them do, themselves. But asking someone who isn't on board with a dog in the first place to take meds or shots the rest of his or her life for something that is bluntly, an option, a choice that's not their own choice -- that's putting the animal ahead of the human. I just find the whole "I could never be with someone who doesn't love dogs" to be a very un-nuanced and self-centered way of thinking. Rigid, and not seeing individuals for themselves but staking everything on one like or dislike.

Different poster. But a person who doesn't want to live with a dog is not ideal for me. I would have to pass. That doesn't make me self centered.

Btw you're demonstrating some rigid thinking yourself.

[Anonymous]

There are two particular things I don’t like to disclose- I’m an atheist and I don’t like pets. That’s almost makes me unamerican and people judge me for both.