DH embarrassed by my outfit for bbq

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to agree with the husband on this one. Why not just change? And why not answer the phone when he called? Sounds like you were looking for an argument

Can I ask what gender you are?

Probably a woman.

Probably a woman who voted for Trump because her husband told her to.

Probably a woman who agrees with SCOTUS ruling on Roe v Wade

[Anonymous]

The most concerning thing is that he took the children.

This extremely alarming red flag behavior. This is the type of guy to kidnap and or harm the children should op leave.

Op needs to leave but she needs to plan her exit carefully I suggest she look into DV resources and how to leave and leave with children.

Don't search for this on any device he has or may have access to. Of you have a trusted friend or family member who can do this for you might be a good resource.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women need to stay away from men who treat them like shit. Don’t date them, don’t have sex with them, don’t live with them, don’t marry them. Don’t rant at them, don’t negotiate with them, and don’t explain. As soon as it happens, turn around and walk away. It will benefit you immensely. But if we all do it, it will actually change the world.

Do you have any experience with abuse? It’s not that simple. The vast majority of abusers start off as charming and caring. Obviously if a man flips out over your outfit on a first date, you’ll leave and never speak with him again. But it’s not on the first date, and it’s not over something big. They hook you in with their charm, then they start small, and slowly turn the heat up over time. They convince you that reality is completely different, that you are the problem. And by the time you realize what is going on, there’s marriage, kids, people pressuring you to stay, marriage counselors that convince you it’s equally your fault for triggering him, you’re stressed over what a divorce will do to your kids and what will happen the time they are alone with dad.

It’s not as easy as you think. Turn around and walk away? My xH would have physically blocked me from leaving. Then what, call the cops? He was a cop and his buddies wouldn’t do sh!t. I know other women and if they tried to walk away, they would be physically beaten.

I suggest you read Lundy Bancroft, he’s done extensive work on abuse. The woman alone cannot usually stop it, there needs to be consequences from multiple people, most importantly from other men.

I do actually have experience with abuse, I have read Bancroft, and I agree with you. My experiences are what have made me so vigilant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

What double standard? I would never tell my H I won’t be seen with him, and I’d never tolerate our child mocking him. I would politely let him know if his pants were too low, but if he chooses to wear them, that’s his choice. It’s not my place to decide what is or isn’t embarrassing for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

hahahah Half of the posts on DCUM are abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

I’m the pp you’re responding to, and I’m not a troll.

Are you actually saying that, in the absence of other background, if you spouse laughs at the other for a terrible outfit while the kids are standing there - that this by itself is abuse??? You are making a mockery of abuse. I’m on 22 years of happy marriage with a compassionate husband, and we’ve definitely had laughs at the others expense over the years regarding clothes (he hates my denim shorts, and skinny jeans are not kind to his thighs, just for starters).

If op walked down the stairs legitimately looking like a bumblebee and her DH was like “ha you look like a bumblebee, heys kids mom looks like a bumblebee” and Op lost her shit, refused to go the party or answer his calls… there is no de facto abuse in that scenario.

With more information, it may rise to abuse. But with the gaps OP left out, I’m not ready to jump to abuse. Again you make a mockery of abuse by suggesting this meets the threshold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

What double standard? I would never tell my H I won’t be seen with him, and I’d never tolerate our child mocking him. I would politely let him know if his pants were too low, but if he chooses to wear them, that’s his choice. It’s not my place to decide what is or isn’t embarrassing for him.

Where did op say that her husband said he wouldn’t be seen with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

Sounds like everyone in your household is just an ass—le.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

What double standard? I would never tell my H I won’t be seen with him, and I’d never tolerate our child mocking him. I would politely let him know if his pants were too low, but if he chooses to wear them, that’s his choice. It’s not my place to decide what is or isn’t embarrassing for him.

I don't walk on eggshells around my husband or worry about my place in the relationship. I speak my mind. And really, in these pandemic times, if any couples biggest argument was over a bumble bee outfit, you are a great couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women need to stay away from men who treat them like shit. Don’t date them, don’t have sex with them, don’t live with them, don’t marry them. Don’t rant at them, don’t negotiate with them, and don’t explain. As soon as it happens, turn around and walk away. It will benefit you immensely. But if we all do it, it will actually change the w
Ver

Very well said. OP- it is time to run-- not walk to the nearest exit. He isa jerk, and I think I know him. Was he in the military.
? I heard a story like this at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

What double standard? I would never tell my H I won’t be seen with him, and I’d never tolerate our child mocking him. I would politely let him know if his pants were too low, but if he chooses to wear them, that’s his choice. It’s not my place to decide what is or isn’t embarrassing for him.

Where did op say that her husband said he wouldn’t be seen with her?

The PP said she tells her H she won’t be seen with him. I would never say that to my H, most women I know wouldn’t say that, there’s not really a double standard where women can say these things but men can’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women need to stay away from men who treat them like shit. Don’t date them, don’t have sex with them, don’t live with them, don’t marry them. Don’t rant at them, don’t negotiate with them, and don’t explain. As soon as it happens, turn around and walk away. It will benefit you immensely. But if we all do it, it will actually change the world.

Love this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

I’m the pp you’re responding to, and I’m not a troll.

Are you actually saying that, in the absence of other background, if you spouse laughs at the other for a terrible outfit while the kids are standing there - that this by itself is abuse??? You are making a mockery of abuse. I’m on 22 years of happy marriage with a compassionate husband, and we’ve definitely had laughs at the others expense over the years regarding clothes (he hates my denim shorts, and skinny jeans are not kind to his thighs, just for starters).

If op walked down the stairs legitimately looking like a bumblebee and her DH was like “ha you look like a bumblebee, heys kids mom looks like a bumblebee” and Op lost her shit, refused to go the party or answer his calls… there is no de facto abuse in that scenario.

With more information, it may rise to abuse. But with the gaps OP left out, I’m not ready to jump to abuse. Again you make a mockery of abuse by suggesting this meets the threshold.

No more information is needed.The behavior is abusive, period. You just want to further dehumanize Op. . It's clear to me that you are abusive given your need to justify her husband's abusive behavior and your need tofond a way to blame op for the abuse. You're a divk person and I hope you're not in a relationship