DH embarrassed by my outfit for bbq

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came downstairs ready to go to a friend’s bbq with DH and our two DC. When DH saw me he flipped out. I was wearing a yellow JCREW off the shoulder top and jeans. He told me I looked like an insect because of the top being bright yellow, and said to our boys, “doesn’t mom look like a bumble bee”. He asked me to change and I said no. He said he would go without me then, which he did (and took the kids).

He called me several times during the bbq and I didn’t answer. I think he feels bad now. I left the house so I wasn’t home when he got back. What would you do?

Was it yellow top and black pants? That probably could make you look like a bumble bee. But yellow top and blue jeans would actually look nice.

OK? Why is so angry and why are you so quick to take offense? Dude!!!! You actually have bigger resentments simmering. And the fact that you have two small kids - oh, oh, oh! This is the shit phase of parenting. Most stressful. You both need to simmer down and learn to communicate better.

Yeah, no. Did you miss the part where he left without her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came downstairs ready to go to a friend’s bbq with DH and our two DC. When DH saw me he flipped out. I was wearing a yellow JCREW off the shoulder top and jeans. He told me I looked like an insect because of the top being bright yellow, and said to our boys, “doesn’t mom look like a bumble bee”. He asked me to change and I said no. He said he would go without me then, which he did (and took the kids).

He called me several times during the bbq and I didn’t answer. I think he feels bad now. I left the house so I wasn’t home when he got back. What would you do?

Was it yellow top and black pants? That probably could make you look like a bumble bee. But yellow top and blue jeans would actually look nice.

OK? Why is so angry and why are you so quick to take offense? Dude!!!! You actually have bigger resentments simmering. And the fact that you have two small kids - oh, oh, oh! This is the shit phase of parenting. Most stressful. You both need to simmer down and learn to communicate better.

Yeah, no. Did you miss the part where he left without her?

Yeah, no, she did not change right? He then called several times and she did not pick up the phone, right? Neither of them are making good decisions. They both sound immature and their feelings are getting hurt quite a lot. All of which is fine by itself. Unfortunately, they have also produced two kids and this can and will impact them.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like an ass. There’s no way I’d stay married to someone who talked to me that way or treated me that way (I’m referring both to him leaving you because he didn’t like your outfit and telling you to stop stuffing your face) and I absolutely would not want my kids to grow up around that and think it’s ok.

If your friend told you her husband talked to her that way, what would you say? What would your parents say if they knew he treated you that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like an ass. There’s no way I’d stay married to someone who talked to me that way or treated me that way (I’m referring both to him leaving you because he didn’t like your outfit and telling you to stop stuffing your face) and I absolutely would not want my kids to grow up around that and think it’s ok.

If your friend told you her husband talked to her that way, what would you say? What would your parents say if they knew he treated you that way?

And yet, and yet, OP chose to have two kids with the ass. And this was before ROE v Wade being overturned so she was not actually living the life of a handmaiden in Gilead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a narcissist. Be careful.

Big time. Oh shit.

[Anonymous]

Were your jeans black? That's the only way you could have looked like a bumblebee. If he'd said it jokingly, no big deal. It's that he LEFT WITHOUT YOU, and encouraged YOUR KIDS TO MAKE FUN OF YOU that are the two red flags for me.

[Anonymous]

Dude. Completely unacceptable. Controlling, contemptuous. This guy is bad news.

[Anonymous]

So OP, what are you going to do?

How old are you BTW? And what is your HHI? Do you work or are you SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Are you dead serious??!

Your husband refused to accompany you to a bar-b-que simply because he didn’t want to be seen w/you in public?

Wow.
Just wow.

And to do such a despicable thing in front of the kids!

Honestly? > I would divorce a man who treated me like that.
He sounds very immature to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's terribly hurtful and weird.

Is he usually extremely uptight and stressed about how the family presents itself to the outside world? Does he try to hide anything that he perceives may make him look bad?

I would have made a point of going, and being friendly to everyone.

OP: Kudos to you for not backing down & changing your outfit just to keep the peace.
You should be able to wear ANYthing you want to wear.

You are a full-fledged adult now.
You have already been raised by your own parents.

And since when did your husband find it necessary to impart fashion advice??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you dead serious??!

Your husband refused to accompany you to a bar-b-que simply because he didn’t want to be seen w/you in public?

Wow.
Just wow.

And to do such a despicable thing in front of the kids!

Honestly? > I would divorce a man who treated me like that.
He sounds very immature to me.

Divorcing with two small kids because of a spat...yup, that is so mature. Why do you people have children though? Sure, have sex because that is a bodily function most cannot do without, but why do you have kids? Can you rehome your children?

[Anonymous]

I'd be thankful I have a husband that's honest and tells me I look ridiculous instead of letting me leave the house looking that way. Going without you wasn't the best choice but you also could have just changed and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came downstairs ready to go to a friend’s bbq with DH and our two DC. When DH saw me he flipped out. I was wearing a yellow JCREW off the shoulder top and jeans. He told me I looked like an insect because of the top being bright yellow, and said to our boys, “doesn’t mom look like a bumble bee”. He asked me to change and I said no. He said he would go without me then, which he did (and took the kids).

He called me several times during the bbq and I didn’t answer. I think he feels bad now. I left the house so I wasn’t home when he got back. What would you do?

Was it yellow top and black pants? That probably could make you look like a bumble bee. But yellow top and blue jeans would actually look nice.

OK? Why is so angry and why are you so quick to take offense? Dude!!!! You actually have bigger resentments simmering. And the fact that you have two small kids - oh, oh, oh! This is the shit phase of parenting. Most stressful. You both need to simmer down and learn to communicate better.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came downstairs ready to go to a friend’s bbq with DH and our two DC. When DH saw me he flipped out. I was wearing a yellow JCREW off the shoulder top and jeans. He told me I looked like an insect because of the top being bright yellow, and said to our boys, “doesn’t mom look like a bumble bee”. He asked me to change and I said no. He said he would go without me then, which he did (and took the kids).

He called me several times during the bbq and I didn’t answer. I think he feels bad now. I left the house so I wasn’t home when he got back. What would you do?

Was it yellow top and black pants? That probably could make you look like a bumble bee. But yellow top and blue jeans would actually look nice.

OK? Why is so angry and why are you so quick to take offense? Dude!!!! You actually have bigger resentments simmering. And the fact that you have two small kids - oh, oh, oh! This is the shit phase of parenting. Most stressful. You both need to simmer down and learn to communicate better.

Yeah, no. Did you miss the part where he left without her?

Yeah, no, she did not change right? He then called several times and she did not pick up the phone, right? Neither of them are making good decisions. They both sound immature and their feelings are getting hurt quite a lot. All of which is fine by itself. Unfortunately, they have also produced two kids and this can and will impact them.

+1

[Anonymous]

My husband will say “that dress isn’t that flattering” or “I’m not sure about your haircut” etc, but blow up at me, encourage the kids to make fun of me, and leave without me if I don’t dress the way he wants? Hard no.