I didn't grow up with my birth family because of the Baptists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged. Why do you defend these idiots? I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You're right that you did nothing wrong. But don't you have siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles from your adopted family? Why are you discounting them? I'm not defending baptists who shame women for getting pregnant outside of marriage yet being against abortions. I'm just saying you walking into their church as an out-of-town stranger and sharing your story will just not create the change you want - they'll just think you ungrateful for the adoptive family you were given and they'll be sad for you and think you need to pray to Jesus more or something like that.

This is the thing they don't tell you about adoption. You are accepted into your immediate family. But once your parents pass, it’s easy to find yourself out of the club.

Several cousins keep in touch through Facebook. That is about it.

What? This happens with even biological families. My uncles and aunts are connected mainly to my parents. The cousins are also connected through the older generation. As the parents die, the bonds between the cousins weaken. In fact, bonds between siblings weaken. My kids are notv close to their uncles, aunts or cousins, even though they get along fine. Once DH and I pass on, I don't think they will be in touch with anyone. The desire to connect and remain connected comes when you become old and realise that your family is dying off. The younger generation does not feel like this. This is natural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you grew up in the fundie southern baptist church (I did), you have no idea what you are talking about. Do some research on Bill Gothard and IBLP. Women do not have choices. Do you see ANY women in leadership positions? Women don’t get to make decisions. The SBC is pushing for head of household voting, ffs. After my ex threw me down a set of stairs dislocation my shoulder, held a knife to my throat, tried to hold my head under water, held a pillow over my face…… I went to my pastor. I was told divorce was never an option. That it was my fault for not being more submissive and sweet.

We are talking years of brainwashing. Pregnancy out of wedlock means giving the baby up to be raised by a decent family. Then, you repent of your whorish ways and pray for forgiveness. You won’t ever be forgiven. Ever.

It is a cult, friends. If you are a member of the SBC and haven’t experienced abuse, I’m so glad. Do not discount the many who were horribly abused.

Not, OP- but Interesting that you mention this. Recently I've just started learning more about this group and the fundie movement. Why it's important? Their goal is to infiltrate our legislature to return laws to protect the patriarchial, Christian, white, nuclear heterosexual family.


And it's working.

BapTists don’t have that kind of power. Fundamentalists don’t either. I think you need to expand your sources of reading

Oh really? Why do we have religious fundamentalidm laying the groundwork RIGHT NOW in local, state, and national elections and laws? Did you read the Roe leaked document? Roe vs. Wade is about to be overturned. Laws are also being developed right now to OVERRIDE individual state's laws for continued support for abortion if Row is overturned. Legislation has been introduced regarding birth control, the morning after pill, and even miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. Laws are being introduced that criminally implicate not only the woman involved but anyone even tangentially related to the event- the Uber driver, a spouse, anyone who had prior knowledge. Hotines to report any activity are actually estsblished for the purpose of finding any or all parties involved. Parenthood is losing funding for basic health care.

School board races are flooded with rhetoric about so called CRT indoctrination, sexuality curriculum of any kind, and basic history. And they are winning. Florida is leading the way.

Are you quite sure now? Have you been living under a rock?

Please, take some Valium and also learn some common civility. Would you want your histrionic posts to be a signboard on your front yard? That’s a good yardstick.

Literally nothing here that is uncivil -except possibly the question about living under a rock(?) But, here's the thing- do you? Do you live under a rock because otherwise how would you not know these things? I would go back to your comment and decide who is not civil when you question posters sources of reading. And, the funny thing is, you haven't read or seen or heard anything that has been going on. You are the one who needs questioning, and your response has something to do with civility. Are you kidding everyone here? Are you trolling?

** hey, also..so, ARE you the beagle poster? I'm guessing yes.

If so, let's review what civility and humanity is.

#womenarenotbeagles
#humantraffickingisntagoodthing

Who is the beagle poster? No, that’s not me. I was responding to the shrill caps and the gratuitous rock statement.

And I’m pro-choice. If you want to change opinions, start by being civil.

Like you were?


You absolutely would have had to been living under a rock to not know any of what was in the post. It was a much more civil way to point that out instead of calling you uneducated or any other unkind statement regarding your cognitive state. No one here is trying to change an opinion. What was written was information. It was entirely factual, and was information you did not have, for reasons that are incomprehensible. And, you are the one who suggested the first poster needed to read more sources- that was insulting, and incorrect, so please refrain from lecturing others in etiquette.

Now that we are here, please watch the acceptance speech of the Pa Repub primary candidate, Maistriano and tell us again how fundamentalism isn't trying to grab the legislature.

Yikes. Paras and paras slamming other posters. I’ll put my education and knowledge of current events up against yours any day. What you keep refusing to see—even as you keep piling on with your strident, childish, backhanded insults—is that I’m criticizing your demeanor here.

We both want Maistriano to lose in the general election. Your behavior drives would-be allies away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you grew up in the fundie southern baptist church (I did), you have no idea what you are talking about. Do some research on Bill Gothard and IBLP. Women do not have choices. Do you see ANY women in leadership positions? Women don’t get to make decisions. The SBC is pushing for head of household voting, ffs. After my ex threw me down a set of stairs dislocation my shoulder, held a knife to my throat, tried to hold my head under water, held a pillow over my face…… I went to my pastor. I was told divorce was never an option. That it was my fault for not being more submissive and sweet.

We are talking years of brainwashing. Pregnancy out of wedlock means giving the baby up to be raised by a decent family. Then, you repent of your whorish ways and pray for forgiveness. You won’t ever be forgiven. Ever.

It is a cult, friends. If you are a member of the SBC and haven’t experienced abuse, I’m so glad. Do not discount the many who were horribly abused.

Not, OP- but Interesting that you mention this. Recently I've just started learning more about this group and the fundie movement. Why it's important? Their goal is to infiltrate our legislature to return laws to protect the patriarchial, Christian, white, nuclear heterosexual family.


And it's working.

BapTists don’t have that kind of power. Fundamentalists don’t either. I think you need to expand your sources of reading

Oh really? Why do we have religious fundamentalidm laying the groundwork RIGHT NOW in local, state, and national elections and laws? Did you read the Roe leaked document? Roe vs. Wade is about to be overturned. Laws are also being developed right now to OVERRIDE individual state's laws for continued support for abortion if Row is overturned. Legislation has been introduced regarding birth control, the morning after pill, and even miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. Laws are being introduced that criminally implicate not only the woman involved but anyone even tangentially related to the event- the Uber driver, a spouse, anyone who had prior knowledge. Hotines to report any activity are actually estsblished for the purpose of finding any or all parties involved. Parenthood is losing funding for basic health care.

School board races are flooded with rhetoric about so called CRT indoctrination, sexuality curriculum of any kind, and basic history. And they are winning. Florida is leading the way.

Are you quite sure now? Have you been living under a rock?

Please, take some Valium and also learn some common civility. Would you want your histrionic posts to be a signboard on your front yard? That’s a good yardstick.

Literally nothing here that is uncivil -except possibly the question about living under a rock(?) But, here's the thing- do you? Do you live under a rock because otherwise how would you not know these things? I would go back to your comment and decide who is not civil when you question posters sources of reading. And, the funny thing is, you haven't read or seen or heard anything that has been going on. You are the one who needs questioning, and your response has something to do with civility. Are you kidding everyone here? Are you trolling?

** hey, also..so, ARE you the beagle poster? I'm guessing yes.

If so, let's review what civility and humanity is.

#womenarenotbeagles
#humantraffickingisntagoodthing

Who is the beagle poster? No, that’s not me. I was responding to the shrill caps and the gratuitous rock statement.

And I’m pro-choice. If you want to change opinions, start by being civil.

Like you were?


You absolutely would have had to been living under a rock to not know any of what was in the post. It was a much more civil way to point that out instead of calling you uneducated or any other unkind statement regarding your cognitive state. No one here is trying to change an opinion. What was written was information. It was entirely factual, and was information you did not have, for reasons that are incomprehensible. And, you are the one who suggested the first poster needed to read more sources- that was insulting, and incorrect, so please refrain from lecturing others in etiquette.

Now that we are here, please watch the acceptance speech of the Pa Repub primary candidate, Maistriano and tell us again how fundamentalism isn't trying to grab the legislature.

Yikes. Paras and paras slamming other posters. I’ll put my education and knowledge of current events up against yours any day. What you keep refusing to see—even as you keep piling on with your strident, childish, backhanded insults—is that I’m criticizing your demeanor here.

We both want Maistriano to lose in the general election. Your behavior drives would-be allies away.

Also, Maistriano does not represent not ALL fundamentalists. Exaggerations like this aren’t honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you grew up in the fundie southern baptist church (I did), you have no idea what you are talking about. Do some research on Bill Gothard and IBLP. Women do not have choices. Do you see ANY women in leadership positions? Women don’t get to make decisions. The SBC is pushing for head of household voting, ffs. After my ex threw me down a set of stairs dislocation my shoulder, held a knife to my throat, tried to hold my head under water, held a pillow over my face…… I went to my pastor. I was told divorce was never an option. That it was my fault for not being more submissive and sweet.

We are talking years of brainwashing. Pregnancy out of wedlock means giving the baby up to be raised by a decent family. Then, you repent of your whorish ways and pray for forgiveness. You won’t ever be forgiven. Ever.

It is a cult, friends. If you are a member of the SBC and haven’t experienced abuse, I’m so glad. Do not discount the many who were horribly abused.

Not, OP- but Interesting that you mention this. Recently I've just started learning more about this group and the fundie movement. Why it's important? Their goal is to infiltrate our legislature to return laws to protect the patriarchial, Christian, white, nuclear heterosexual family.


And it's working.

BapTists don’t have that kind of power. Fundamentalists don’t either. I think you need to expand your sources of reading

Oh really? Why do we have religious fundamentalidm laying the groundwork RIGHT NOW in local, state, and national elections and laws? Did you read the Roe leaked document? Roe vs. Wade is about to be overturned. Laws are also being developed right now to OVERRIDE individual state's laws for continued support for abortion if Row is overturned. Legislation has been introduced regarding birth control, the morning after pill, and even miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. Laws are being introduced that criminally implicate not only the woman involved but anyone even tangentially related to the event- the Uber driver, a spouse, anyone who had prior knowledge. Hotines to report any activity are actually estsblished for the purpose of finding any or all parties involved. Parenthood is losing funding for basic health care.

School board races are flooded with rhetoric about so called CRT indoctrination, sexuality curriculum of any kind, and basic history. And they are winning. Florida is leading the way.

Are you quite sure now? Have you been living under a rock?

Please, take some Valium and also learn some common civility. Would you want your histrionic posts to be a signboard on your front yard? That’s a good yardstick.

Hit dog hollers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged.

Why do you defend these idiots?

I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You were not wronged. In fact you were helped. You grew up with what you grew up with. Nothing was taken from you.

You need to get over this victim mentality. You live the life you are dealt. Deal with it.

This is not OP, but I gotta ask you this.. how did you come to the conclusion that nothing was taken from her?

Her MOTHER was taken from her. Her MOTHER. And this child was taken from the MOTHER.

Are you the beagle poster, you know, the one supporting the Catholic mom who kept having kids but could afford them so she gave a bunch away, like a dog? And, somehow that was just fine? Are you that poster? Good Lord.

Her mother chose to giver her up.

And no answer on how she got her mother’s letters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged.

Why do you defend these idiots?

I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You were not wronged. In fact you were helped. You grew up with what you grew up with. Nothing was taken from you.

You need to get over this victim mentality. You live the life you are dealt. Deal with it.

This is not OP, but I gotta ask you this.. how did you come to the conclusion that nothing was taken from her?

Her MOTHER was taken from her. Her MOTHER. And this child was taken from the MOTHER.

Are you the beagle poster, you know, the one supporting the Catholic mom who kept having kids but could afford them so she gave a bunch away, like a dog? And, somehow that was just fine? Are you that poster? Good Lord.

Her mother chose to giver her up.

And no answer on how she got her mother’s letters.

Because her mother belonged to a cult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you grew up in the fundie southern baptist church (I did), you have no idea what you are talking about. Do some research on Bill Gothard and IBLP. Women do not have choices. Do you see ANY women in leadership positions? Women don’t get to make decisions. The SBC is pushing for head of household voting, ffs. After my ex threw me down a set of stairs dislocation my shoulder, held a knife to my throat, tried to hold my head under water, held a pillow over my face…… I went to my pastor. I was told divorce was never an option. That it was my fault for not being more submissive and sweet.

We are talking years of brainwashing. Pregnancy out of wedlock means giving the baby up to be raised by a decent family. Then, you repent of your whorish ways and pray for forgiveness. You won’t ever be forgiven. Ever.

It is a cult, friends. If you are a member of the SBC and haven’t experienced abuse, I’m so glad. Do not discount the many who were horribly abused.

Not, OP- but Interesting that you mention this. Recently I've just started learning more about this group and the fundie movement. Why it's important? Their goal is to infiltrate our legislature to return laws to protect the patriarchial, Christian, white, nuclear heterosexual family.


And it's working.

BapTists don’t have that kind of power. Fundamentalists don’t either. I think you need to expand your sources of reading

Oh really? Why do we have religious fundamentalidm laying the groundwork RIGHT NOW in local, state, and national elections and laws? Did you read the Roe leaked document? Roe vs. Wade is about to be overturned. Laws are also being developed right now to OVERRIDE individual state's laws for continued support for abortion if Row is overturned. Legislation has been introduced regarding birth control, the morning after pill, and even miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. Laws are being introduced that criminally implicate not only the woman involved but anyone even tangentially related to the event- the Uber driver, a spouse, anyone who had prior knowledge. Hotines to report any activity are actually estsblished for the purpose of finding any or all parties involved. Parenthood is losing funding for basic health care.

School board races are flooded with rhetoric about so called CRT indoctrination, sexuality curriculum of any kind, and basic history. And they are winning. Florida is leading the way.

Are you quite sure now? Have you been living under a rock?

Please, take some Valium and also learn some common civility. Would you want your histrionic posts to be a signboard on your front yard? That’s a good yardstick.

Hit dog hollers.

^ Amazing lack of self awareness.

[Anonymous]

OP, you were adopted. You grew up with your family. Your argument is completely off base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, adoptee anger is extremely common. You have a right to your feelings. Directing all of your years of built up rage on the Baptists in particular appears to be a bit misplaced and irrational. I no fan of southern baptists, however clearly there are some other issues here that need to be worked through with a professional. I hope you take the earlier posters advice to seek therapy instead of spiraling on internet forums. Good luck.

NP. She isn't spiraling. Because it's an anonymous forum, it's a way to open a vent. I agree. This isn't about that one church. Lots of people really don't understand adoption.

Maybe a lot of people learned something. Especially one poster, OMG, that should've frightened everyone here.

Thanks. I am OP.

Yes it is a vent. I will eventually figure out how to get my revenge. It is not just church, but many that need to be taught a lesson.

They are indeed the American Taliban and cannot be tolerated.

You sound scary and unhinged. Please seek help.

[Anonymous]

Would you rather to have been aborted?

[Anonymous]

How do you know your bio mom, and her parents, would have done a good job raising you? It sounds like you would have hated them too.

You blame them from separating you from them… but you hate them.

[Anonymous]

They won't care. They will continue to think they did the right thing and nothing you do will matter. But go on, get your "revenge" instead of the mental health care you clearly need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged.

Why do you defend these idiots?

I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You were not wronged. In fact you were helped. You grew up with what you grew up with. Nothing was taken from you.

You need to get over this victim mentality. You live the life you are dealt. Deal with it.

This is not OP, but I gotta ask you this.. how did you come to the conclusion that nothing was taken from her?

Her MOTHER was taken from her. Her MOTHER. And this child was taken from the MOTHER.

Are you the beagle poster, you know, the one supporting the Catholic mom who kept having kids but could afford them so she gave a bunch away, like a dog? And, somehow that was just fine? Are you that poster? Good Lord.

Her mother chose to giver her up.

And no answer on how she got her mother’s letters.

It was answered earlier in the thread. Try reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged.

Why do you defend these idiots?

I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You were not wronged. In fact you were helped. You grew up with what you grew up with. Nothing was taken from you.

You need to get over this victim mentality. You live the life you are dealt. Deal with it.

This is not OP, but I gotta ask you this.. how did you come to the conclusion that nothing was taken from her?

Her MOTHER was taken from her. Her MOTHER. And this child was taken from the MOTHER.

Are you the beagle poster, you know, the one supporting the Catholic mom who kept having kids but could afford them so she gave a bunch away, like a dog? And, somehow that was just fine? Are you that poster? Good Lord.

Her mother chose to giver her up.

And no answer on how she got her mother’s letters.

Her mother never had a choice. You just don’t get it. Maybe you have to have lived it. Seen it. Felt it. Women do not have choices. They are under the authority of men. Either their father, their husband, or their pastor. That is fundamental southern baptist doctrine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was adopted.

My birth mother grew up poor in Sorth Carolina. Her big family was very Baptist. So when she got pregnant, she had to go to an unwed mother's home and give me up. I was considered a worthless b@stard and so her devout parents would have disowned her if they ever found out. She hid it and a friend helped her get to the unwed more home.

I have since identified my birth parents. I know which church she went to. It is my fantasy to go there and denounce them. I want to embarrass and punish them.

What would you do? They still push the no sex before marriage BS. Only the women and children suffer.

I grew up without my family because of their preaching.

Where did her family think she was for 9 months while she was at the unwed mother’s home? That’s a long time to be in hiding from your family. What about your dad? Do you know where he is?

Do you think your mom loved you and did the best she could? At that time it wasn’t just “the baptists” who didn’t like children being born out of wedlock. It was American society as a whole.

“The parents of Wilson-Buterbaugh and Ellerby were ashamed and embarrassed about their daughters’ pregnancies, a typical reaction for most families at the time.”


The maternity homes where ‘mind control’ was used on teen moms to give up their babies

https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2018/11/19/maternity-homes-where-mind-control-was-used-teen-moms-give-up-their-babies/

I grew up in the late 60s and at that time, it wasn’t just religious people who sent their unwed and pregnant daughters away.

You have a lot of anger about something that you are focusing on “the Baptists” when it wasn’t just baptists forcing girls to give up their babies.

She was not a teen. She was living on her own a couple states away. My dad was a player -- yes they had those back then -- who slept around as much as he could. I have a few siblings and none of us have the same mothers.

My mother should have had support from her family. She didn't have it because of the toxic Southern Baptist culture. Maybe she still would have chosen to give me up. That's fine. Maybe she would have chosen abortion. That is fine as as well.

Because I have access now to some of her letters I am so angry on her behalf.

My birth parents are both dead now.

If your mom was living independently a couple states away from her family and an adult, no church or no baptist made her do anything. She wasn’t living in her parent’s home as an adult. She had her own home. Nobody was going to kick her out of her home. She wasn’t attending the baptist church you want to show up at and attack and blame everyone for your circumstance. If your mom told nobody in her family what was happening on her life, she didn’t even give them a chance to help. She didn’t have to worry about the baptist church judging her from a few states away.

Homes for unwed mothers were common in American society at the time of your birth. It’s unfortunate, but take your life and do something good with it. You only get one life. You can’t change the past. Your mom made her choice and you have a choice to make too. Don’t live your life in anger and hatred.

Though not as long ago, I was in a similar situation to the birth mom, living a few states away from home and grown. Still, my the religious teachings were deeply rooted. Pregnancy hormones amplified all of my emotions, and shame loomed large. I was tired, alone, and lacking the confidence I could even raise a baby, help or not. I felt I disappointed my family being unmarried. I was not my usual rational self.

Fortunately I had a compassionate counselor who steered me away from adoption and I am forever grateful.