I didn't grow up with my birth family because of the Baptists

[Anonymous]

I was adopted.

My birth mother grew up poor in Sorth Carolina. Her big family was very Baptist. So when she got pregnant, she had to go to an unwed mother's home and give me up. I was considered a worthless b@stard and so her devout parents would have disowned her if they ever found out. She hid it and a friend helped her get to the unwed more home.

I have since identified my birth parents. I know which church she went to. It is my fantasy to go there and denounce them. I want to embarrass and punish them.

What would you do? They still push the no sex before marriage BS. Only the women and children suffer.

I grew up without my family because of their preaching.

[Anonymous]

If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

Wow, you sound like . . . some kind of angry fundamentalist nut.

OP's meaning is clear: Those Baptists were so "moral" that they removed a child from her natural family, apparently much to her detriment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

Maybe it would if their nose was rubbed in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged.

Why do you defend these idiots?

I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

Maybe it would if their nose was rubbed in it.

Nah, it won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged. Why do you defend these idiots? I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You're right that you did nothing wrong. But don't you have siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles from your adopted family? Why are you discounting them? I'm not defending baptists who shame women for getting pregnant outside of marriage yet being against abortions. I'm just saying you walking into their church as an out-of-town stranger and sharing your story will just not create the change you want - they'll just think you ungrateful for the adoptive family you were given and they'll be sad for you and think you need to pray to Jesus more or something like that.

[Anonymous]

I would be angry about this too, and very hurt. I hope you grew up with a loving family. If there was a silver lining think of it this way, you do not grow up in that environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged. Why do you defend these idiots? I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You're right that you did nothing wrong. But don't you have siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles from your adopted family? Why are you discounting them? I'm not defending baptists who shame women for getting pregnant outside of marriage yet being against abortions. I'm just saying you walking into their church as an out-of-town stranger and sharing your story will just not create the change you want - they'll just think you ungrateful for the adoptive family you were given and they'll be sad for you and think you need to pray to Jesus more or something like that.

This is the thing they don't tell you about adoption. You are accepted into your immediate family. But once your parents pass, it’s easy to find yourself out of the club.

Several cousins keep in touch through Facebook. That is about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be angry about this too, and very hurt. I hope you grew up with a loving family. If there was a silver lining think of it this way, you do not grow up in that environment.

They loved me, but one parent was an alcoholic and the other was mentally ill. There was also some abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was adopted.

My birth mother grew up poor in Sorth Carolina. Her big family was very Baptist. So when she got pregnant, she had to go to an unwed mother's home and give me up. I was considered a worthless b@stard and so her devout parents would have disowned her if they ever found out. She hid it and a friend helped her get to the unwed more home.

I have since identified my birth parents. I know which church she went to. It is my fantasy to go there and denounce them. I want to embarrass and punish them.

What would you do? They still push the no sex before marriage BS. Only the women and children suffer.

I grew up without my family because of their preaching.

I can see why you'd be angry and hurt. I think this is a serious matter which shouldn't be determined on an anonymous message board. Really, if I were you, I'd talk this whole thing through with a therapist before taking any action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were adopted, you grew up with a family, no? I think you need therapy to deal with your immature anger. Your fantasy will not result in a revamp of the culture, you know that right?

I did nothing wrong. I WAS wronged. Why do you defend these idiots? I grew up without my siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles.

You're right that you did nothing wrong. But don't you have siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles from your adopted family? Why are you discounting them? I'm not defending baptists who shame women for getting pregnant outside of marriage yet being against abortions. I'm just saying you walking into their church as an out-of-town stranger and sharing your story will just not create the change you want - they'll just think you ungrateful for the adoptive family you were given and they'll be sad for you and think you need to pray to Jesus more or something like that.

+1 -- you seem to have an idea of how this will play out, but you really don't know at all. You want revenge. Don't assume you will get it.

[Anonymous]

The southern baptist church is a cult. I’m so sorry you are hurting, OP. I can only imagine the abuse your mother must have endured. I grew up in the baptist church. Years of therapy and I still have awful trauma associated with my childhood. I remember a young woman who had an abortion being forced to decorate a grave for her “baby”. Those people are 100% crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be angry about this too, and very hurt. I hope you grew up with a loving family. If there was a silver lining think of it this way, you do not grow up in that environment.

They loved me, but one parent was an alcoholic and the other was mentally ill. There was also some abuse.

I’m so sorry.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP? My understanding is that while they still preach abstinence, most of these churches are not giving up babies anymore. They hate the sin, forgive the sinner, so that they can be assured that the child will be raised in the church (and not aborted). There are tons of kids with single parents in those communities now. So I don’t think your denouncing them will have the effect you desire—they will agree it was wrong for girls to give babies up and wish you were still in the fold.