MIL getting up when baby cried: what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

NP. Do you get that OP didn't start out rude? When someone tells you the same thing over and over and you don't listen and keep on persisting with "helping," THAT is rude. There's a limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

I'm going with the facts. You're writing fiction that what really would have been helpful is...watching TV? Why are you writing fiction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, pro tip. I have 4 kids. Only change poop diapers in the middle of the night.

Nobody needs "pro tips" from overbreeders. You let your kids get diaper rash and "fend for themselves," we get it.

[Anonymous]

Omg I’m dying laughing….my MIL was the exact same. All I wanted was privacy in the middle in the night…nope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

I actually think all the defending of MIL is weird. Saying she wanted to help (when it doesn't seem like she did), saying it's OP's fault for disturbing MIL's sleep (when MIL was told that the baby cries at night and insisted that they stay with her). Being over 60 isn't a get out of jail free card for being obnoxious, especially to a sleep-deprived, stressed out new mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

You sound like an idiot. The baby is nursing, the MIL didn’t need to help, she was being annoying af.
I’m sorry OP you were absolutely right and I wouldn’t go back, and I wouldn’t ever left her babysit because trust me she is going to do what she wants to do regardless of your instructions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

I actually think all the defending of MIL is weird. Saying she wanted to help (when it doesn't seem like she did), saying it's OP's fault for disturbing MIL's sleep (when MIL was told that the baby cries at night and insisted that they stay with her). Being over 60 isn't a get out of jail free card for being obnoxious, especially to a sleep-deprived, stressed out new mom.

Maybe MIL is sleep deprived too b/c she's being woken up in the middle of the night? Most people are saying they both deserve to have some slack. Why aren't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

I'm going with the facts. You're writing fiction that what really would have been helpful is...watching TV? Why are you writing fiction?

The facts are DIL and son were thundering around the in-laws house in the middle of the night with a screaming baby and woke everyone up. Sounds like a shitty situation for all, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

I actually think all the defending of MIL is weird. Saying she wanted to help (when it doesn't seem like she did), saying it's OP's fault for disturbing MIL's sleep (when MIL was told that the baby cries at night and insisted that they stay with her). Being over 60 isn't a get out of jail free card for being obnoxious, especially to a sleep-deprived, stressed out new mom.

Maybe MIL is sleep deprived too b/c she's being woken up in the middle of the night? Most people are saying they both deserve to have some slack. Why aren't you?

Most people are aggressively taking one side or the other, actually. I don't deny that DIL was rude in that moment, but she was understandably at her breaking point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

NP. Do you get that OP didn't start out rude? When someone tells you the same thing over and over and you don't listen and keep on persisting with "helping," THAT is rude. There's a limit.

This.

If OP acted the way she did on the first night, I would probably agree that she was being rude. By the 4th night, her reaction was warranted. There’s only so much one can take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

I'm going with the facts. You're writing fiction that what really would have been helpful is...watching TV? Why are you writing fiction?

The facts are DIL and son were thundering around the in-laws house in the middle of the night with a screaming baby and woke everyone up. Sounds like a shitty situation for all, no?

Wow, and people wonder why their kids don't visit. God forbid an infant wake up in the middle of the night or an overnight guest use the restroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

I actually think all the defending of MIL is weird. Saying she wanted to help (when it doesn't seem like she did), saying it's OP's fault for disturbing MIL's sleep (when MIL was told that the baby cries at night and insisted that they stay with her). Being over 60 isn't a get out of jail free card for being obnoxious, especially to a sleep-deprived, stressed out new mom.

Maybe MIL is sleep deprived too b/c she's being woken up in the middle of the night? Most people are saying they both deserve to have some slack. Why aren't you?

Most people are aggressively taking one side or the other, actually. I don't deny that DIL was rude in that moment, but she was understandably at her breaking point

Agreed but two wrongs don't make a right and now they know this situation doesn't work and they don't visit until baby is older, stay in a hotel, or do the hosting at their house. No need to threaten cutting off in laws or severing relationships. Life is different with a baby and you have to learn to roll with the punches and be flexible because it sounds like it was stressful for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

The white knighting for OP is weird. There is a reflexive pro DIL and anti-MIL in all of these types of posts. Even when the DIL is obviously being rude.

NP. Do you get that OP didn't start out rude? When someone tells you the same thing over and over and you don't listen and keep on persisting with "helping," THAT is rude. There's a limit.

This.

If OP acted the way she did on the first night, I would probably agree that she was being rude. By the 4th night, her reaction was warranted. There’s only so much one can take.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

I'm going with the facts. You're writing fiction that what really would have been helpful is...watching TV? Why are you writing fiction?

The facts are DIL and son were thundering around the in-laws house in the middle of the night with a screaming baby and woke everyone up. Sounds like a shitty situation for all, no?

Wow, and people wonder why their kids don't visit. God forbid an infant wake up in the middle of the night or an overnight guest use the restroom.

I hated when my babies cried and would potentially disturb others in a restaurant, church, at night, etc. That's on the parent to deal with. OP learned a hard lesson that life is very different with a baby. She should acknowledge this was all just a mistake (staying with the in-laws) and a lesson learned as a new parent. There will be many other lessons learned in the coming years. They decided to stay at the house, and it didn't go well so they need to take some responsibility for the bad decision. It is what it is, and now they know.