MIL getting up when baby cried: what would you do?

[Anonymous]

It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

What was MIL going to do, whip out her own boob? I honestly don't get what you're getting at. What was there to do besides changing a diaper (Dad was right there and got it) and breastfeed (Mom handled it). What else? What would be helpful in that situation, when both parents already said--before the visit and repeatedly during the visit--we've got this, no thank you, we've got this. Honestly asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, sounds like you were the rude one.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many older people insist on hosting and then make it miserable? Per OP, they knew what the visit would involve in terms of nighttime wake ups, insisted their son, DIL, and new baby stay there, and then refused to accept reasonable boundaries like "please don't disrupt our nighttime routine." I wouldn't stay there under those circumstances - hotel ftw.

But really, what did MIL that was apparently so egregious? She was in the hallway, which seems to be a common hallway Tory bathroom, and was asking if everything was okay. 2 adults getting up and a baby crying is a lot of commotion in the middle of the night. I would expect the baby part, but not everything else that seems to come along with OP and her middle of the night routine.

Oh please. She did this three nights in a row, after being specifically told that it was disruptive and unhelpful. Asking if "everything is ok" at that point is clearly disingenuous.

So is not switching up the routine since it's obviously more disruptive than she thought. Everyone should compromise a little and be flexible.

Do you mean like MIL and FIL should let OP and her husband stay in a hotel, as they had already offered to do? Be flexible like that? Compromise like that? Because there's nothing else that OP or her husband could do. They forewarned that there would be wake-ups, they offered to stay in a hotel, and they handled the wake-ups as quickly and quietly as humanly possible.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like DH handled it. I would let it go. This is a stressful situation for all involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many older people insist on hosting and then make it miserable? Per OP, they knew what the visit would involve in terms of nighttime wake ups, insisted their son, DIL, and new baby stay there, and then refused to accept reasonable boundaries like "please don't disrupt our nighttime routine." I wouldn't stay there under those circumstances - hotel ftw.

But really, what did MIL that was apparently so egregious? She was in the hallway, which seems to be a common hallway Tory bathroom, and was asking if everything was okay. 2 adults getting up and a baby crying is a lot of commotion in the middle of the night. I would expect the baby part, but not everything else that seems to come along with OP and her middle of the night routine.

Oh please. She did this three nights in a row, after being specifically told that it was disruptive and unhelpful. Asking if "everything is ok" at that point is clearly disingenuous.

So is not switching up the routine since it's obviously more disruptive than she thought. Everyone should compromise a little and be flexible.

Do you mean like MIL and FIL should let OP and her husband stay in a hotel, as they had already offered to do? Be flexible like that? Compromise like that? Because there's nothing else that OP or her husband could do. They forewarned that there would be wake-ups, they offered to stay in a hotel, and they handled the wake-ups as quickly and quietly as humanly possible.

"Let" them stay in a hotel? WTF? If I want to stay in a hotel I do it. Since I'm an adult. My in-laws don't have to "let" me do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

I mean, OP has never said that MIL offered to help. It sounds more like she was woken up by the baby and was just reacting to having her sleep disturbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

[Anonymous]

This may be one of the more insane threads I've read. Do most PPs not remember the hell that is getting a newborn back to sleep? 4 month sleep regression? You're just barely hanging on by your fingernails (PP who had it "down" by the time baby was 4 most old, take a seat. No one's talking to you).

New parents need kindness, space, and their boundaries respected. And then some more space and kindness. Not dealing with loud Gladys in the hallway in her kountry kasuals nightgown. FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may be one of the more insane threads I've read. Do most PPs not remember the hell that is getting a newborn back to sleep? 4 month sleep regression? You're just barely hanging on by your fingernails (PP who had it "down" by the time baby was 4 most old, take a seat. No one's talking to you).

New parents need kindness, space, and their boundaries respected. And then some more space and kindness. Not dealing with loud Gladys in the hallway in her kountry kasuals nightgown. FFS.

Which makes it seem even more likely OP is downplaying what a nightmare the baby was every night. I don't believe "Just 4 minutes". Sorry. This was a bad situation for all involved. Now they know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

This. Maybe she wanted to help. She can't nurse but some things my mom did for me during those frequent newborn wakings was rock the baby back to sleep or sit up with me and chat or watch TV so I could have some company and DH could get some sleep.

...DH did go back to sleep. While OP breastfed. Sounds like OP didn't want or need "company" during breastfeeding, as evidenced by her saying for several nights in a row that she didn't want help.

Why are you speaking for OP?

LOL, I think it's pretty clear from OP's description of events that she didn't want her MIL's company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your MIL was willing to help and let you guys get some sleep. You responded by being a jerk. I'd be pissed at you too. You seem rude and ungrateful.

What was MIL going to do, whip out her own boob? I honestly don't get what you're getting at. What was there to do besides changing a diaper (Dad was right there and got it) and breastfeed (Mom handled it). What else? What would be helpful in that situation, when both parents already said--before the visit and repeatedly during the visit--we've got this, no thank you, we've got this. Honestly asking.

+1. I don't need "help" breastfeeding and I certainly don't want company at 3am as I sit in bed feeding the baby half asleep.

[Anonymous]

OP, pro tip. I have 4 kids. Only change poop diapers in the middle of the night.