Evite invitation - hide guest list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the better question here is -- who on earth are you people that are still using EVITE ??????

I don't even know the last time we received an evite - my kids have either come with a paper invitation, or the parent has emailed or texted me a Canva/graphic invitation. Either way, RSVPs have all been "RSVP Sarah at xxx-xxx-xxxx". That's pretty standard nowadays - I have 6 and 9 year olds.

(Raises hand) - ME! Why? Because it's free. I'm too cheap to pay for Paperless Post or whatever all nonsense you're talking about. Evite it is.

And to answer the original question, I don't hide the guest list because I tend to do smaller parties and I want everyone to see who else was invited so they don't talk to someone else about it and hurt their feelings. My kids prefer having 5 of their friends vs 105.

Paperless Post/Canva/PicMonkey - all of those are free for the basic functions you need to create a quick invitation. I, personally, really dislike Evite because of how much they spam me about stuff. I know a lot of other people do, too. Can you people please get with the times and just email or text an invitation?

Or maybe the folks who use evite care more about the event management functionality (ie easily managing the replys) as opposed to just the design of the invitation which is what programs like Canva offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the better question here is -- who on earth are you people that are still using EVITE ??????

I don't even know the last time we received an evite - my kids have either come with a paper invitation, or the parent has emailed or texted me a Canva/graphic invitation. Either way, RSVPs have all been "RSVP Sarah at xxx-xxx-xxxx". That's pretty standard nowadays - I have 6 and 9 year olds.

(Raises hand) - ME! Why? Because it's free. I'm too cheap to pay for Paperless Post or whatever all nonsense you're talking about. Evite it is.

And to answer the original question, I don't hide the guest list because I tend to do smaller parties and I want everyone to see who else was invited so they don't talk to someone else about it and hurt their feelings. My kids prefer having 5 of their friends vs 105.

Paperless Post/Canva/PicMonkey - all of those are free for the basic functions you need to create a quick invitation. I, personally, really dislike Evite because of how much they spam me about stuff. I know a lot of other people do, too. Can you people please get with the times and just email or text an invitation?

Or maybe the folks who use evite care more about the event management functionality (ie easily managing the replys) as opposed to just the design of the invitation which is what programs like Canva offer.

Yeah evite gives me a headcount for number adults and number children and sends auto reminders and tell me if people have viewed my invitation. If for some reason there's a last minute change, like the plumbing broke at a venue (wish I didn't have that experience) I can quickly contact everyone who is coming. It now let's you do text messages, too. Plus it saved my addresses from last year's party.

So much easier than keeping track of rest messages.

I have hidden the guest list in the past for other people's privacy. It's less important now that parties are becoming smaller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

Sorry not sorry that I have better things to talk to my friends about than my children's social lives?

I just get the feeling that you don’t talk to your friends much. We interact a lot in my neighborhood - going for a walk together after the kids get on the bus, taking a lunch break from work and eating together (this isn’t some sort of formal sit down, we have literally all just brought sandwiches from home but eaten them together at the park we can walk to), playing poker on a weeknight, book club, hanging out at the pool on the weekend. I don’t know, I see and talk to my friends a lot (and we all work and all have husbands who work). The first topic of conversation isn’t our kids’ social lives (which, by the way, isn’t the reason a party comes up), it’s because we’re discussing our weekend plans, which is a totally normal thing to do!

I think the difference is who you are friends with vs other people.

Also, it sounds like you live in one of the neighborhoods described in the "cliquey neighborhood" thread. A lot of us don't live (or want to live) in neighborhoods like that. I like my neighbors, but they're not my only or best friends.

No, our neighborhood isn’t cliquey. Yes, we do things together, like a holiday brunch or a Halloween party, but there’s no group of people who are in charge of it all, nor anyone who is excluded. My best friend doesn’t live in my neighborhood, she lives four hours away. My best college friends also don’t live in my neighborhood, they all live 3-4 hours away. (That’s all a fluke, by the way, I grew up on the west coast and went to college up north but we’ve all settled around this area). I do have neighborhood friends to whom I am close, however. And we spend time together because we enjoy each other’s company but also of course due to proximity. So because we may run into each other on the weekend, and because our kids attend the same school and have many of the same friends, it’s a completely normal thing for a birthday party to come up in conversation. That’s what I don’t think some people get - no one is looking to gossip or social climb or whatever other weird things you seem to think is happening when people discuss a kid’s party. It’s a legitimate, informal, casual conversation about weekend plans, and it’s easier if you know who is going for multiple reasons. But whatever, diss my neighborhood (which isn’t Vienna, McLean, Bethesda, or any of the others mentioned in the cliquey neighborhood thread), if it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

Sorry not sorry that I have better things to talk to my friends about than my children's social lives?

I just get the feeling that you don’t talk to your friends much. We interact a lot in my neighborhood - going for a walk together after the kids get on the bus, taking a lunch break from work and eating together (this isn’t some sort of formal sit down, we have literally all just brought sandwiches from home but eaten them together at the park we can walk to), playing poker on a weeknight, book club, hanging out at the pool on the weekend. I don’t know, I see and talk to my friends a lot (and we all work and all have husbands who work). The first topic of conversation isn’t our kids’ social lives (which, by the way, isn’t the reason a party comes up), it’s because we’re discussing our weekend plans, which is a totally normal thing to do!

Kids parties at this age are drop offs, so yes, you are discussing your children's social lives.

Ok…? I’m discussing my kid’s activities, which could include a baseball game, a ballet performance, and a birthday party. I don’t think about my kids having “social lives” because that sounds like something I’m manufacturing or trying to make happen. It’s just their activities. For what it’s worth, if we’re available, we will always go to a birthday party. I check my calendar upon receiving the invitation and if it’s open, we RSVP yet. We don’t wait to see if something better comes along, we don’t bail because we got a more attractive invitation to something else, we commit and we go. But if I can’t see the guest list and I don’t know who is coming and we can’t do the drop off but could do the pick up, for example, I say no unless I’m close to the host mom and would feel comfortable asking who else is coming.

[Anonymous]

I have honestly never looked to see if my kid was invited later or after other kids - if they were some sort of B list. That’s so weird!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the better question here is -- who on earth are you people that are still using EVITE ??????

I don't even know the last time we received an evite - my kids have either come with a paper invitation, or the parent has emailed or texted me a Canva/graphic invitation. Either way, RSVPs have all been "RSVP Sarah at xxx-xxx-xxxx". That's pretty standard nowadays - I have 6 and 9 year olds.

(Raises hand) - ME! Why? Because it's free. I'm too cheap to pay for Paperless Post or whatever all nonsense you're talking about. Evite it is.

And to answer the original question, I don't hide the guest list because I tend to do smaller parties and I want everyone to see who else was invited so they don't talk to someone else about it and hurt their feelings. My kids prefer having 5 of their friends vs 105.

Paperless Post/Canva/PicMonkey - all of those are free for the basic functions you need to create a quick invitation. I, personally, really dislike Evite because of how much they spam me about stuff. I know a lot of other people do, too. Can you people please get with the times and just email or text an invitation?

DP than the one you're responding to, but we also use and receive mostly Evite.

The bolded is so unnecessarily mean. It's consistent with the overall tone of the guest list hiders, which is oddly suspicious, bordering on cynical. You do you, but your inability to move beyond your paranoia (about childrens! birthday! parties!) is striking.

I actually haven't responded one way or the other about guest lists, because I don't think I've received an evite in 3-4 years and I don't even remember the last time I sent one out, so I have no skin in that game. I am just astonished by the number of people out there who are still using evite, I thought it was over!

Fine. Then please consider learning to express your astonishment in less snarky ways. There are many benefits to having invitations centralized through Evite, as a PP described well.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person who finds it funny that the PP who's complaining about Evite being for olds doesn't seem to know how to hit the unsubscribe button, after complaining about being spammed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

Sorry not sorry that I have better things to talk to my friends about than my children's social lives?

I just get the feeling that you don’t talk to your friends much. We interact a lot in my neighborhood - going for a walk together after the kids get on the bus, taking a lunch break from work and eating together (this isn’t some sort of formal sit down, we have literally all just brought sandwiches from home but eaten them together at the park we can walk to), playing poker on a weeknight, book club, hanging out at the pool on the weekend. I don’t know, I see and talk to my friends a lot (and we all work and all have husbands who work). The first topic of conversation isn’t our kids’ social lives (which, by the way, isn’t the reason a party comes up), it’s because we’re discussing our weekend plans, which is a totally normal thing to do!

I think the difference is who you are friends with vs other people.

Also, it sounds like you live in one of the neighborhoods described in the "cliquey neighborhood" thread. A lot of us don't live (or want to live) in neighborhoods like that. I like my neighbors, but they're not my only or best friends.

It sounds like the folks in this neighborhood have kids who run in the same circles. I live in a a pretty friendly neighborhood too but family compositions are pretty varied (from no kids to empty nesters) so no one is going to follow-up and ask whose birthday party you are referencing. It's more like, "what are your plans on Saturday?" "Usual, driving the kids around to their activities, sports, birthday party." "Cool, text me if you are home before 5 and we can walk the dogs together."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

Sorry not sorry that I have better things to talk to my friends about than my children's social lives?

I just get the feeling that you don’t talk to your friends much. We interact a lot in my neighborhood - going for a walk together after the kids get on the bus, taking a lunch break from work and eating together (this isn’t some sort of formal sit down, we have literally all just brought sandwiches from home but eaten them together at the park we can walk to), playing poker on a weeknight, book club, hanging out at the pool on the weekend. I don’t know, I see and talk to my friends a lot (and we all work and all have husbands who work). The first topic of conversation isn’t our kids’ social lives (which, by the way, isn’t the reason a party comes up), it’s because we’re discussing our weekend plans, which is a totally normal thing to do!

I think the difference is who you are friends with vs other people.

Also, it sounds like you live in one of the neighborhoods described in the "cliquey neighborhood" thread. A lot of us don't live (or want to live) in neighborhoods like that. I like my neighbors, but they're not my only or best friends.

No, our neighborhood isn’t cliquey. Yes, we do things together, like a holiday brunch or a Halloween party, but there’s no group of people who are in charge of it all, nor anyone who is excluded. My best friend doesn’t live in my neighborhood, she lives four hours away. My best college friends also don’t live in my neighborhood, they all live 3-4 hours away. (That’s all a fluke, by the way, I grew up on the west coast and went to college up north but we’ve all settled around this area). I do have neighborhood friends to whom I am close, however. And we spend time together because we enjoy each other’s company but also of course due to proximity. So because we may run into each other on the weekend, and because our kids attend the same school and have many of the same friends, it’s a completely normal thing for a birthday party to come up in conversation. That’s what I don’t think some people get - no one is looking to gossip or social climb or whatever other weird things you seem to think is happening when people discuss a kid’s party. It’s a legitimate, informal, casual conversation about weekend plans, and it’s easier if you know who is going for multiple reasons. But whatever, diss my neighborhood (which isn’t Vienna, McLean, Bethesda, or any of the others mentioned in the cliquey neighborhood thread), if it makes you feel better.

...says the lady who instigated this whole conversation by saying something rude about people not having friends and insulting strangers' social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

Sorry not sorry that I have better things to talk to my friends about than my children's social lives?

I just get the feeling that you don’t talk to your friends much. We interact a lot in my neighborhood - going for a walk together after the kids get on the bus, taking a lunch break from work and eating together (this isn’t some sort of formal sit down, we have literally all just brought sandwiches from home but eaten them together at the park we can walk to), playing poker on a weeknight, book club, hanging out at the pool on the weekend. I don’t know, I see and talk to my friends a lot (and we all work and all have husbands who work). The first topic of conversation isn’t our kids’ social lives (which, by the way, isn’t the reason a party comes up), it’s because we’re discussing our weekend plans, which is a totally normal thing to do!

I think the difference is who you are friends with vs other people.

Also, it sounds like you live in one of the neighborhoods described in the "cliquey neighborhood" thread. A lot of us don't live (or want to live) in neighborhoods like that. I like my neighbors, but they're not my only or best friends.

It sounds like the folks in this neighborhood have kids who run in the same circles. I live in a a pretty friendly neighborhood too but family compositions are pretty varied (from no kids to empty nesters) so no one is going to follow-up and ask whose birthday party you are referencing. It's more like, "what are your plans on Saturday?" "Usual, driving the kids around to their activities, sports, birthday party." "Cool, text me if you are home before 5 and we can walk the dogs together."

This is definitely more how my interaction with friends would be! We're not all having lunchtime picnics at the playground talking about our kids, LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who finds it funny that the PP who's complaining about Evite being for olds doesn't seem to know how to hit the unsubscribe button, after complaining about being spammed?

Hahaha, nope! I was wondering when someone would make this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who finds it funny that the PP who's complaining about Evite being for olds doesn't seem to know how to hit the unsubscribe button, after complaining about being spammed?

Yes you are.