Evite invitation - hide guest list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

And you never know if the other parent will ask - "Oh, who's party are you going to?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

NP - what?? How is it a "no-no"? "Oh hey Jane, what are your plans this weekend? Oh we are going to Larlo's birthday on Saturday, are you going too?" No one is critiquing the invites with other parents. This thread is full of paranoid people. Don't show the guest list because some won't come depending on who is on it? Who are you people socializing with? GMAFB.

Just say your kid is going to a party. Don’t be so tacky and say it’s Larlo’s.

Tacky? You must live in some stepford suburban competitive housewife hell. Sorry, but it wouldn't be mentioned in order to hurt or make someone feel bad. WTAF.

The intent and the impact may not be the same. I was raised that you never mention social events to anyone who might not be invited. I’m honestly shocked at the lack of tact and discretion some of these posts are indicating is common.

Oh give me a break. We are talking about children's parties, not invitations to Buckingham Palace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

This is so funny- you think friendship involves spending even 1 second talking about Larlo’s party? Sounds like you and friends don’t have anything interesting and fun to actually talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

And you never know if the other parent will ask - "Oh, who's party are you going to?"

And? You might still have that issue whether or not the guest is published or closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

NP - what?? How is it a "no-no"? "Oh hey Jane, what are your plans this weekend? Oh we are going to Larlo's birthday on Saturday, are you going too?" No one is critiquing the invites with other parents. This thread is full of paranoid people. Don't show the guest list because some won't come depending on who is on it? Who are you people socializing with? GMAFB.

Just say your kid is going to a party. Don’t be so tacky and say it’s Larlo’s.

Tacky? You must live in some stepford suburban competitive housewife hell. Sorry, but it wouldn't be mentioned in order to hurt or make someone feel bad. WTAF.

The intent and the impact may not be the same. I was raised that you never mention social events to anyone who might not be invited. I’m honestly shocked at the lack of tact and discretion some of these posts are indicating is common.

Oh give me a break. We are talking about children's parties, not invitations to Buckingham Palace.

Good to still have manners even when the Queen is not involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send paper invitations. But I also don’t invite the whole class. Why invite the 5 yo who hits my kid. Or the one every parent says is a problem child. Or my favorite the one who used to say super mean threatening things. So yeah we only invite the kids that DD is actually likes. Then we send paper invitations via the mail.

That is also fine. Do you get a good response rate from this sort of an invite in the age of digital invites?

I'm not the PP but I do this too. I just write in the invitation to text me at xxx to RSVP. Works out fine. And no one has ever asked who else is invited! That would seem odd to me. Either your kid wants to come to my kid's party or not, it shouldn't depend on the guest list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh no, it's so annoying. If you hide it and I ask another mom if her kid is going and she says no, that's awkward.

That could happen even if the guest list is not hidden.
Maybe not you asking But Someone who’s not invited could ask you
What are you doing this weekend? So how is hiding a guest list anyone else business but the hosts .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter if someone chooses to hide their list?
When people send paper invites or individual text invites
You don’t know who else is invited.

Also as kids get older they start inviting select friends and not the whole class, or budget reasons and some families might not be able to Invite the whole class. Either way why would you bring up a party to someone if you don’t know who else is invited ? I never bring it up and if someone asks for weekend plans I just say “oh we have a birthday Saturday and not too much going on Sunday “ why do you have to give specifics.

I’m honestly wondering if some of you people have friends in real life that you actually talk to… Maybe COVID really did a number on your social skills. I wouldn’t mention a kid’s party specifically in order to put some sort of state secret. I would mention the kid if my friend’s kid is also friends with them for many of the reasons noted here. If you don’t want people talking about your super special secret party, then let them know who else is invited! It’s really that simple.

And you never know if the other parent will ask - "Oh, who's party are you going to?"

And? You might still have that issue whether or not the guest is published or closed.

I personally wouldn’t - if I knew the other kid wasn’t invited I would approach it more tactfully. For example, if I was talking to a girl mom - if asked, I could say something like - we are going to Larlo’s - he invited the boys in the class or whatever (if I knew) to try to let them know they weren’t excluded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

This also. Also, with Covid, I wanted people to feel comfortable with the # of ppl attending so another reason to show guest list. For example, if it’s a 50+ party, I may not want kid to attend but if it’s only 10-15, I might feel better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to turn the question around on you - as a guest, why would you need to see who else was invited? When someone sends paper invitations, you have no idea who else was invited. Why does evite/paperless post need to be any different?

Exactly. It should not matter whether it is a closed invite. If you are free and want to come, please do, if not say no.

My kid was invited to a party and very excited and when we went to respond, it looked like others were invited more than a month back. My kid was a little hurt not to be in the first list, but likes the other kid and wanted to go, so we RSVPed yes. It would have been better if it was a closed invite since we wouldn't have known that others were invited ahead. But my kid was still happy to be invited.

This is why I do closed. All our party spots have a limit on guests and I know some will not come. So I invite the first batch and then based on no’s send out the rest my kid wanted to invite but that were over the head count. DS has gotten last minute invites too and he is just happy to go.

[Anonymous]

I dont hide the guest list ever. I think it helpful to other parents to see who is coming (car pooling and such). I have yet to hear about hurt feelings over an evite guest list and my kids in middle school now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send paper invitations. But I also don’t invite the whole class. Why invite the 5 yo who hits my kid. Or the one every parent says is a problem child. Or my favorite the one who used to say super mean threatening things. So yeah we only invite the kids that DD is actually likes. Then we send paper invitations via the mail.

That is also fine. Do you get a good response rate from this sort of an invite in the age of digital invites?

Yes, I do. We address it to the kids, they love getting mail, and we find parents like the personal touch. It doesn’t take that much more effort to open an envelope as it does to click on a link. And we just have them rsvp via text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send paper invitations. But I also don’t invite the whole class. Why invite the 5 yo who hits my kid. Or the one every parent says is a problem child. Or my favorite the one who used to say super mean threatening things. So yeah we only invite the kids that DD is actually likes. Then we send paper invitations via the mail.

That is also fine. Do you get a good response rate from this sort of an invite in the age of digital invites?

Yes, I do. We address it to the kids, they love getting mail, and we find parents like the personal touch. It doesn’t take that much more effort to open an envelope as it does to click on a link. And we just have them rsvp via text.

Between the inappropriate judgment of very young kids and “parents like the personal touch” laugher, this post wins for sheer absurdity.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old went to a whole class but guest list hidden birthday party in September and I was annoyed because I assumed it would be his class and a few kids that the birthday child knew from outside school - but instead it was the whole class, the kid’s sports team, the whole neighborhood, and a huge amount of extended family. Probably 100+ people and a lot were adults. That’s a lot while people are still getting back into socializing. Not sure if we would have attended had we known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

But again, if this were traditional paper invitations, you also wouldn't know who else was invited and you wouldn't be on here complaining about it.

But it’s not traditional paper invitations - which, by the way, haven’t been widely used in what, 10 years or more? That’s moot. Hiding the guest list on Evite requires deliberate action on the part of the host. I think it’s juvenile and implies a low opinion of one’s guests. If there were people I thought might not attend if Larla was or was not attending, I’d rather not have those people there to begin with.

If you’re hosting a dinner party for adult friends, do you invite them all individually and not let guests know who else will be there?

Hm, that's funny, my child has received two this year.