Evite invitation - hide guest list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

NP - what?? How is it a "no-no"? "Oh hey Jane, what are your plans this weekend? Oh we are going to Larlo's birthday on Saturday, are you going too?" No one is critiquing the invites with other parents. This thread is full of paranoid people. Don't show the guest list because some won't come depending on who is on it? Who are you people socializing with? GMAFB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

But again, if this were traditional paper invitations, you also wouldn't know who else was invited and you wouldn't be on here complaining about it.

But it’s not traditional paper invitations - which, by the way, haven’t been widely used in what, 10 years or more? That’s moot. Hiding the guest list on Evite requires deliberate action on the part of the host. I think it’s juvenile and implies a low opinion of one’s guests. If there were people I thought might not attend if Larla was or was not attending, I’d rather not have those people there to begin with.

If you’re hosting a dinner party for adult friends, do you invite them all individually and not let guests know who else will be there?

If I host a holiday open house, no I don't always tell them who will be there.

Why would you invite people of whom you have such a low opinion to a party at your house? That’s odd.

You really seem to think this is a gotcha? Good luck explaining to your kids as they get older that it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing!

[Anonymous]

Ugh no, it's so annoying. If you hide it and I ask another mom if her kid is going and she says no, that's awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

NP - what?? How is it a "no-no"? "Oh hey Jane, what are your plans this weekend? Oh we are going to Larlo's birthday on Saturday, are you going too?" No one is critiquing the invites with other parents. This thread is full of paranoid people. Don't show the guest list because some won't come depending on who is on it? Who are you people socializing with? GMAFB.

Just say your kid is going to a party. Don’t be so tacky and say it’s Larlo’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hide guest list for regular parties but made it visible for sleepovers.

Sorry I didn't see you question about motivation. I hide because the guest list should not matter to someone's acceptance. I am inviting you or your child to the bounce house in the morning- why do you need to know who is present? For sleeovers, I think parents should know who is there.

Ok...except what if I'm going to be out of town that weekend and my husband will be at a baseball game with our other kid? My kid coming to the party will depend on who else is going because either we can find someone to take them or we can't.

How insecure are you people that you're worried about people accepting or rejecting based on whether their friends will be there? And honestly, wouldn't you want to weed those people out anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

NP - what?? How is it a "no-no"? "Oh hey Jane, what are your plans this weekend? Oh we are going to Larlo's birthday on Saturday, are you going too?" No one is critiquing the invites with other parents. This thread is full of paranoid people. Don't show the guest list because some won't come depending on who is on it? Who are you people socializing with? GMAFB.

Just say your kid is going to a party. Don’t be so tacky and say it’s Larlo’s.

Tacky? You must live in some stepford suburban competitive housewife hell. Sorry, but it wouldn't be mentioned in order to hurt or make someone feel bad. WTAF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hide guest list for regular parties but made it visible for sleepovers.

Sorry I didn't see you question about motivation. I hide because the guest list should not matter to someone's acceptance. I am inviting you or your child to the bounce house in the morning- why do you need to know who is present? For sleeovers, I think parents should know who is there.

Ok...except what if I'm going to be out of town that weekend and my husband will be at a baseball game with our other kid? My kid coming to the party will depend on who else is going because either we can find someone to take them or we can't.

How insecure are you people that you're worried about people accepting or rejecting based on whether their friends will be there? And honestly, wouldn't you want to weed those people out anyway?

+1000000000000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do plan to invite the whole class so if I hide the list, it’s not because of exclusion.

I’m considering hiding it for the first time because of what one of the previous posters said: so that if it’s low attendance, ppl won’t know or if ppl are only accepting depending on who else is coming. Im nervous as I have only met a few of the parents. Hmmm I’m not sure what to do now!

Except that no one will know you weren't being exclusive because you hid the guest list! Seriously, don't play games. Just let people see who is coming or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do plan to invite the whole class so if I hide the list, it’s not because of exclusion.

I’m considering hiding it for the first time because of what one of the previous posters said: so that if it’s low attendance, ppl won’t know or if ppl are only accepting depending on who else is coming. Im nervous as I have only met a few of the parents. Hmmm I’m not sure what to do now!

Except that no one will know you weren't being exclusive because you hid the guest list! Seriously, don't play games. Just let people see who is coming or not.

Yeah and when 3/4 of the class shows up, all the parents will silently think you are an a-hole for not inviting the whole class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do plan to invite the whole class so if I hide the list, it’s not because of exclusion.

I’m considering hiding it for the first time because of what one of the previous posters said: so that if it’s low attendance, ppl won’t know or if ppl are only accepting depending on who else is coming. Im nervous as I have only met a few of the parents. Hmmm I’m not sure what to do now!

I have never noticed whether or not the acceptance rate is low. I assume that there are sometimes double invitations for the same kid, if you're sending it to both parents' email, for example. We go if my kid likes your kid and we don't have a conflict.

THIS!

Who are these neurotic people who are pouring over the guest list and deciding to go (or not) based on who else will be there? It's convenient to see so that you don't blab the wrong thing to the wrong person or so you can carpool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

Do you people just not have friends?

I talk to my friends (many of whom also happen to the parents of my kids' friends) all the time and yeah, our weekend plans will come up in conversation.

[Anonymous]

I don’t hide it bc I prefer it as a parent when others don’t. I also actually put the kid’s name instead of the default email prefix so no one is trying to figure out who dcmom2three or whoever is. And yes, for all the reasons—carpool, not letting something slip to kid who wasn’t invited, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

Because my son’s best friend is from a family with other kids who play travel sports and they have one car. I am close friends with the mom and drive her kid to all the parties they both attend. So yeah, it’s super inconvenient to not see the guest list bc who wants to ask if someone was invited and find out they weren’t? Get over yourself and your high horse.

Yes, we should change our practice because your son's friend has constraints?

No one asked you to change “your practice.” People are discussing why they don’t like hidden guest lists. Show me the part where anyone asked you to “change your practice.” I’ll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of these PPs have a a very low opinion of others! Stop assuming the worst, we're talking about kids' parties. Just because we want to know who else is invited doesn't mean we're making the decision on that basis. It's about setting expectations and assessing whether we'll know anyone etc.

If someone is inclined to not attend because some people may be there, then I do not want to deal with them if they show up and are surprised.

Also, if I see a low RSVP rate, I'll make more of an effort to attend, e.g., I would be more willing to change our calendar to do it. I know how stressful it can be to plan kid parties and figure out whether enough kids will be able to attend.

Kids change a lot in this age group. It's sweet and naive to think kid group dynamics don't come into play at some point. Best to nip that in the bud now.

Give me a break. Hiding the guest list does nothing to nip that bud.