Evite invitation - hide guest list?

[Anonymous]

Wow, some of these PPs have a a very low opinion of others! Stop assuming the worst, we're talking about kids' parties. Just because we want to know who else is invited doesn't mean we're making the decision on that basis. It's about setting expectations and assessing whether we'll know anyone etc.

If someone is inclined to not attend because some people may be there, then I do not want to deal with them if they show up and are surprised.

Also, if I see a low RSVP rate, I'll make more of an effort to attend, e.g., I would be more willing to change our calendar to do it. I know how stressful it can be to plan kid parties and figure out whether enough kids will be able to attend.

[Anonymous]

I show the list so people can carpool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is why I like to see it and make it public. First and foremost, my kids have busy sports schedules and we usually like to carpool. I've also occasionally done joint gifts with someone. So good to know who is going. Second, my kid had pretty severe social anxiety when he was younger. We never declined in invite based on who was or was not going, but it was helpful to tell him which "friendly faces" would be there and which kids he was a bit intimidated by would be there.

For those saying they don't like the idea of a kid accepting or declining based on who is coming, I will say if a kid only wants to come to my kid's party if the cool kids are coming or his closest friends or whatever, I would really and truly prefer that child declined. I don't need to trick anyone into coming to my kids' parties.

Lastly, both my kids have had parties to which they were not invited mentioned to them by friends. Now it might have happened anyway, but it may have been prevented if the guest list was visible and the kid knew my kid was not invited.

If your kid truly had anxiety, then it would acceptable to ask the host if any of Larlo's classmates would be in attendance by prefacing it with "I don't mean to be rude, he has a little anxiety around attending parties not knowing anyone, is there any of the boys' mutual friends that I can tell him will be there so he can expect a friendly face?". I would not be the least offended by this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

But again, if this were traditional paper invitations, you also wouldn't know who else was invited and you wouldn't be on here complaining about it.

[Anonymous]

Please don't hide it! My son (9 years old) is very, very shy. We do tend to look to see if he will know at least one other guest besides the birthday child, otherwise, he can be left in a situation where he freezes up and won't talk or interact if the birthday child is occupied with other friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of these PPs have a a very low opinion of others! Stop assuming the worst, we're talking about kids' parties. Just because we want to know who else is invited doesn't mean we're making the decision on that basis. It's about setting expectations and assessing whether we'll know anyone etc.

If someone is inclined to not attend because some people may be there, then I do not want to deal with them if they show up and are surprised.

Also, if I see a low RSVP rate, I'll make more of an effort to attend, e.g., I would be more willing to change our calendar to do it. I know how stressful it can be to plan kid parties and figure out whether enough kids will be able to attend.

Kids change a lot in this age group. It's sweet and naive to think kid group dynamics don't come into play at some point. Best to nip that in the bud now.

[Anonymous]

I won't hide mine for future parties (PPs bring up good points about carpools and anxious kids) but I have in the past out of consideration for the privacy of the other guests. It's nobody's business - except mine as the party host - whether any particular guest is or is not attending the party. Like obviously I'm not inviting celebrities so maybe it doesn't matter, but that was always my reasoning. Never had a B-list or excluded anybody as whole-class parties are still the norm at DCs' ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

But again, if this were traditional paper invitations, you also wouldn't know who else was invited and you wouldn't be on here complaining about it.

But it’s not traditional paper invitations - which, by the way, haven’t been widely used in what, 10 years or more? That’s moot. Hiding the guest list on Evite requires deliberate action on the part of the host. I think it’s juvenile and implies a low opinion of one’s guests. If there were people I thought might not attend if Larla was or was not attending, I’d rather not have those people there to begin with.

If you’re hosting a dinner party for adult friends, do you invite them all individually and not let guests know who else will be there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

Because my son’s best friend is from a family with other kids who play travel sports and they have one car. I am close friends with the mom and drive her kid to all the parties they both attend. So yeah, it’s super inconvenient to not see the guest list bc who wants to ask if someone was invited and find out they weren’t? Get over yourself and your high horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

But again, if this were traditional paper invitations, you also wouldn't know who else was invited and you wouldn't be on here complaining about it.

But it’s not traditional paper invitations - which, by the way, haven’t been widely used in what, 10 years or more? That’s moot. Hiding the guest list on Evite requires deliberate action on the part of the host. I think it’s juvenile and implies a low opinion of one’s guests. If there were people I thought might not attend if Larla was or was not attending, I’d rather not have those people there to begin with.

If you’re hosting a dinner party for adult friends, do you invite them all individually and not let guests know who else will be there?

If I host a holiday open house, no I don't always tell them who will be there.

[Anonymous]

It's easier to invite people later without them seeing that some people had already rsvp ed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't hide the guest list.

I usually take a look to ensure that I don't accidentally talk about an invite with other parents whose kids aren't invited.

+1.. and then you can also arrange carpools for those who need rides.

Why are you talking about invitations with other parents? That's a social no-no.

Because my son’s best friend is from a family with other kids who play travel sports and they have one car. I am close friends with the mom and drive her kid to all the parties they both attend. So yeah, it’s super inconvenient to not see the guest list bc who wants to ask if someone was invited and find out they weren’t? Get over yourself and your high horse.

Yes, we should change our practice because your son's friend has constraints?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

But again, if this were traditional paper invitations, you also wouldn't know who else was invited and you wouldn't be on here complaining about it.

But it’s not traditional paper invitations - which, by the way, haven’t been widely used in what, 10 years or more? That’s moot. Hiding the guest list on Evite requires deliberate action on the part of the host. I think it’s juvenile and implies a low opinion of one’s guests. If there were people I thought might not attend if Larla was or was not attending, I’d rather not have those people there to begin with.

If you’re hosting a dinner party for adult friends, do you invite them all individually and not let guests know who else will be there?

If I host a holiday open house, no I don't always tell them who will be there.

Why would you invite people of whom you have such a low opinion to a party at your house? That’s odd.