SIL is upset I did not punish my step daughter for being disrespectful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$14-15 an hour is reasonable. $25 for a teenager is absurd. Stepdaughter should have just declined and been done with it. She was rude, SIL is rude and you need to take care of your own kids.

LOL. For 4 kids? OK, then. You watch your own kids. And no date nights for you, HAHA. Highly doubt ANYONE would agree to watch 4 kids even for $15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pay my teen neighbor $20/hour to "babysit" my two kids while they are asleep. $10/hour for four kids is ABSURD, and especially absurd to ask for that after being quoted a reasonable rate. And the fact that now the SIL is complaining to the rest of the family about how her husband's sister's stepdaughter refuses to babysit for a ridiculously below market rate is tacky and entitled.

Exactly. SIL invited the response by lowballing her with a counter-offer.

[Anonymous]

$20/hr is pretty standard for a babysitter in the DC area, no? That’s how much I made babysitting in college at AU in like 2007. I would have charged more for 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think your DD was that rude at all. That would be a normal familiar way to communicate in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you’re trolling. Your SD was incredibly rude and step or not, I’d have let her know that. It’s fine that they had different ideas of the price and for your SD to decline the job, but laughing at your SIL was way out of line.

Is your SIL from your side of the family or your dh’s?

'Different ideas of the price?" LOL! SIL was rude, $2.50/hour per kid for FOUR kids is a complete insult and she tried to take advantage of a teenager, thinking she'd fold to keep peace in the family. Sorry, but no. She's mad because she's embarrassed, which she should be.

+1. It’s not the teenager’s job to make the aunt feel better about what she tried to do.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. To answer a few questions I am related to my SIL through my brother. My step daughter is from my husbands first marriage and she lives with us full time. I do not discipline her. On the rare occasion she has been grounded it was her dads decision.

In my area $25/hour for 4 kids is the norm. She could have charged more. She could probably charge me more for watching her siblings during the week. Seriously you don't pay those rates you are going to have a hard time finding a sitter especially on the weekends.

I was there when SIL made her low ball offer and my daughter laughed at her and made the charity comment and walked away laughing. I did not do anything because SIL offer was insulting to my daughter. Ya she could have handled it differently but I am not going to get on to her and her dad does not care. She stood up for herself.

My brother says she needs to apologize. I told him his wife needs to apologize for her low ball offer and trying to take advantage of my daughter because she is family. So we are at an impasse now. I asked my brother if his wife managed to find a babysitter for $10 an hour. He called me a smart ass and hung up on me. He knows I am right about this.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm more of an asshole than I realized, but I think your SD rocks, and I'm glad she laughed in your SIL's face. Your SIL is only mad because she couldn't take advantage of her. Her husband had the right reaction and is probably glad he got out of taking her on a date.

Be proud that your SD has chutzpah and knows with clarity when someone is trying to take advantage of her. Don't put out her flame. May she laugh in a million more faces that deserve to be laughed at throughout her lifetime!

[Anonymous]

$25 for a teenager is absurd, especially for family. SD is entitled and it is your fault. You should try raising your own kids vs having her raise them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$25 for a teenager is absurd, especially for family. SD is entitled and it is your fault. You should try raising your own kids vs having her raise them.

I think dd was rude but was correct to turn down the job (though she should have done so firmly but politely). We pay 20/hr for our 3 kids. The suggestion of $10/hr is ridiculous and I have to imagine SIL knows this if she’s ever tried to hire a sitter before. It was also rude of SIL to devalue dds labor by offering to pay less than half the going rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$25 for a teenager is absurd, especially for family. SD is entitled and it is your fault. You should try raising your own kids vs having her raise them.

I think dd was rude but was correct to turn down the job (though she should have done so firmly but politely). We pay 20/hr for our 3 kids. The suggestion of $10/hr is ridiculous and I have to imagine SIL knows this if she’s ever tried to hire a sitter before. It was also rude of SIL to devalue dds labor by offering to pay less than half the going rate.

This is a teenager. And family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$25 for a teenager is absurd, especially for family. SD is entitled and it is your fault. You should try raising your own kids vs having her raise them.

You must not have hired a babysitter in the last decade. $25/hr for 4 young kids is average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$25 for a teenager is absurd, especially for family. SD is entitled and it is your fault. You should try raising your own kids vs having her raise them.

I think dd was rude but was correct to turn down the job (though she should have done so firmly but politely). We pay 20/hr for our 3 kids. The suggestion of $10/hr is ridiculous and I have to imagine SIL knows this if she’s ever tried to hire a sitter before. It was also rude of SIL to devalue dds labor by offering to pay less than half the going rate.

This is a teenager. And family.

Our babysitter is a teenager, too. SIL is not entitled to a family discount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$25 for a teenager is absurd, especially for family. SD is entitled and it is your fault. You should try raising your own kids vs having her raise them.

I think dd was rude but was correct to turn down the job (though she should have done so firmly but politely). We pay 20/hr for our 3 kids. The suggestion of $10/hr is ridiculous and I have to imagine SIL knows this if she’s ever tried to hire a sitter before. It was also rude of SIL to devalue dds labor by offering to pay less than half the going rate.

This is a teenager. And family.

4 children starting at age 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$25 for a teenager is absurd, especially for family. SD is entitled and it is your fault. You should try raising your own kids vs having her raise them.

I think dd was rude but was correct to turn down the job (though she should have done so firmly but politely). We pay 20/hr for our 3 kids. The suggestion of $10/hr is ridiculous and I have to imagine SIL knows this if she’s ever tried to hire a sitter before. It was also rude of SIL to devalue dds labor by offering to pay less than half the going rate.

This is a teenager. And family.

...so you screw over your family?

Go ahead and offer $10/hour. See who wants to watch your kids for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$20/hr is pretty standard for a babysitter in the DC area, no? That’s how much I made babysitting in college at AU in like 2007. I would have charged more for 4 kids.

College students make more than high school students. This girl is a teen in high school. That said, I think both sides were rude, so either BOTH apologize or both should pretend the confrontation never happened.